help required asap please

[patevans]

L's mum and dad have just split up, Mum just come in and asked if Dad turns up can he take her?

They both have parental resposibility so where do I stand with this?

Thanks in advance

[FizzysFriends]

Legally he can. But I've always had a deal with my CM's that if DD's dad turned up they wouldn't answer the door and would call me and I would go over and sort it out or call him if im too far away and try and sort it out as I never felt I should allow my CM's to get stuck in the middle.

[HomefromHome]

i would ask mum that if she doesnt want him to pick her up then she needs to tell him so and that you, s the cm, will not let the child go to him - get everything recorded and signed too that you discuss. tell them (if this is not an amicable split) that if it gets nasty and its on your doorstep you will not hesitate to call the police etc. its not fair to bring you into any arguments (other than to support child and family) and they should respect that.
only my opinion btw before anyone jumps down my throat! :)

[marion123]

yes he can i had a mindee few years ago there parents split up mindee was only 2yrs at the time anyway we did another contract saying mum was only aloud to pick up dad did come one time and i told him i couldnt let him take mindee as new contract said just mum picking up he was cross but i told him i cant just let anyone take mindee he calmed down once i explained he then phoned mum who came he waited in his car mum arrived picked up child said sorry once it was all sorted out mum let dad pick up every wednesday yet another new contract everything worked out in the end

[Hebs]

i thought if they both had PR then we couldn't refuse

[patevans]

I said as far as I know he can BUT if he does turn up I wont answer the door and call her. Could he not collect then if the contract is between me and Mum cos he still has PR?

[HomefromHome]

i thought if they both had PR then we couldn't refuse

another minefield!!!!:(

[FizzysFriends]

i thought if they both had PR then we couldn't refuse

You can't.

[charlie28]

I have this problem with one of my mindees. Her mum and dad are getting divorced and it is a bad spilt. Dad is voilent towards the mum. So mum has asked me not to let mindee go with Dad. I said I would ring her straight away if Dad came to my house for her.

[Beckieboo]

When i worked at the nursery, both mum and dad could pick child up, unless a solicitor wrote a letter and an injunction was in place. We could never refuse, the only thing we could do was ring them to inform them their child has been picked up by mum/dad!!!

Things change though but this is my understanding!!

[Chanelle]

As both parents have parental responsibility they both have equal rights to picking up the child

If the mother has an injunction against the father that says he can not have access to the child then you need to see it,even better is to have a copy of the injunction.

As they have split up then you cant really refuse to let the child go home with the father.

In the case of the father seeming under the influence of alcahol .. i dont think you can stop the child going in this case but should inform the mother.


I think that is all accurate :)

[Tatia]

Beckieboo, I think you are right. And if you did refuse to allow child to go to Dad, he could call the police on you to remove the child. It's a terrible position to be in but I'd be upfront with both parents and tell them to sort ot immediately because you do not want to be caught in the middle of a battlefield. Make them establish the rules then and there and write it all down to save yourself headache.

[Tatia]

Chanelle, I think it's all correct too except if I suspected a parent was under the influence, and if they wouldn't let me keep mindee or drive them home, then I'd let them know I was ringing the police right then and there.

[Chanelle]

I agree, that is what i did but unfortunatelly it didnt stop the parent taking them. As for the police, they didnt do anything except they couldnt do anything even tho i gave them the reg number.

It is a shame these parents cant see the damage they do to the poor little ones. :(

[angeldelight]

When i worked at the nursery, both mum and dad could pick child up, unless a solicitor wrote a letter and an injunction was in place. We could never refuse, the only thing we could do was ring them to inform them their child has been picked up by mum/dad!!!

Things change though but this is my understanding!!

Yes this is still what my daughters have to do at their nursery

Angel xx

[Tatia]

I agree, that is what i did but unfortunatelly it didnt stop the parent taking them. As for the police, they didnt do anything except they couldnt do anything even tho i gave them the reg number.

Gosh, what a horrible situation for you to be in!! Must have been awful for you and for the little one.

[Chanelle]

It wasnt the best and hope it never happens this time round but i did hear from the mother saying he got a visit at his flat saying i had concerns he drove with child under the influence and it didnt happen again. In fact i never saw the father again after that day.