help!!!!!!!!!

[nikki13]

i have agreed to take on a new mindee lovely boy 18 months we have done 10 visits and still mum refuses to leave him. i did manage to get her to leave yesterday and decided i would take mindees to the local park had 3 in my care at the time a 9 month baby and a 9 year old after 10 mins my mobile rang demanding that i brought him back to the house as she didnt feel he would be safe out unless it was one on one im not sure what to do next any sugestions i dont want to let him go but as you all know childminders cant stay in all the time its not practical :panic:

[sarah707]

Oh dear it sounds like the parent has severe separation anxiety.

It is illegal for you to stay in ... the Eyfs says you must go out every day.

If the parent is not comfortable with this, then she needs to reconsider her decision to go out to work I am afraid.

I hope you are charging for the sessions. 10 is, in my experience, excessive.

[Chatterbox Childcare]

I am with Sarah on this.

Mum is not going to leave the child and I would have a serious discussion with her.

I would also readvertise the space

[Polly2]

thats ridiculous and the child will react badly and will sense mum is anxious.

Sarah has a point there maybe you need to explain eyfs to mum.

[breezy]

sarahs right. I wonder if it would help mum if you showed her your risk assessments etc.

[rickysmiths]

I agree with the others. 10 settling in seesions is tooooo much I hope you charged or do you mean the settling in period?

Mum really needs to consider what she wants to do you can't not go out but it seems to me it would do the mindee the world of good to be wit you and strat to experince the world.

What would she think of me, I have taken three on the tube into London on the tube, youngest under a year with a 3 and6 year old!! They love it especially when we sit with our picnic in Covent Garden watching some of the acts they have on there!:clapping: :clapping:

[angeldelight]

Crikey poor you

I agree with everyone else though

Good luck let us know what happens

Angel xx

[RedDragon]

Yes, hope you are charging for the time you are having him.

It still grates on me that parents seem to have these separation problems but wouldn't somehow feel the same if it was a teacher, nurse etc - these days I feel we are more than capable of doing our job (policies, risk assessments, all the courses).

[sammy]

i think you need to say

"i know you find i hard to leave your little one and i understand the anxiety your going through, but you must see now by spending 10 sessions with me that i am more than capable in looking after your little one, and that you would be lucky to get other childminders to have such a long settling in period (nurserys wouldnt do it), and that i feel that i need to now start getting on with my day , as you find it hard to concentrate with her around, and also its not fair on the other children as its confusing for them that their mums are not staying with them. Then maybe say when will you be ready to leave him? as you need to decide whether you want your day trips to be cut short with her phonecalls of bringing him back.

i would then suggest she leaves him for half an hour (even if she wants to look through the window to see hes happy and safe), then increase the times, to 1 hour, 2 hours etc, then hopefully she may be able to leave him, if not she will have to stop working.

You dont need that, surely you want to just get on with your day x

[Alibali]

Oh dear, oh dear. Very loud warning bells are ringing. I think mum needs help, I hope you will be the right person to help her through this, but after so many sessions, she should be comfortable with you. If she needs the child to have 1 on 1, she will need to do it herself. Think ahead to how she will feel the first time another child hurts the lo or the lo falls and bumps mimself. I'd be worried.

[huggableshelly]

I agree with what others have said and what Alibali said too.

Everything you do will be questioned, where were you when her child tumbled and bumped his head? why wasnt you right by his side to stop him falling? why wasnt he wrapped in cotton wool?

the parent its high maintenance, you need to decide if you can handle her breathing down your neck every move you make every decission to go out every activity you do.

i wouldnt take on a parent like that, been there done that never again.

[wendywu]

Tell her she has to be brave for the mindees sake. She is denying him a normal upbringing. It is not fair on him to only be one to one and out. Or stuck in all day with others.

But she does not tell you what to do during your business hours, she signed the contracts and saw what activities and outings you do. I would say a firm NO. Im sorry but i would not put up with such sillyness.:panic:

Or she employes a nanny then she has full control.

[Bananabrain]

As Alibali said: alarm bells ringing.