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View Full Version : (Almost) 3 Yr Old Misbehaving



helenlc
06-02-2009, 06:33 PM
I mind full time for a 2 yr old (3 at the end of March). He is generally a lovely sweet boy, eats well, very cheery and affectionate.

However, the flip side is his bad behaviour. When he has the hump, he has the HUMP!! He will clear the table of toys with one swipe of his arm, throw toys. As for me, he will try to bite, kick, scratch, pinch etc.

Last week, we were at a Toddler Group and he got into having a tantrum because I took his cardigan off him (he was swinging it around and I asked him to stop so that he didnt hurt somebody with it). He then starting throwing things and clearing the table so I held him on my lap. He then proceeded to try to scratch, claw at and pinch my arm - even moving my sleeve out the way to make sure he got my skin!

I then held his hands and held them folded across his body so he couldnt get my arms. So then he tried to BITE my arms. He also tried to head butt me by throwing his head back and kicking me also.

I have spoken with Mum about this tonight and said that when we are out somewhere, I have to hold onto him as he is a danger to others (myself included) and possibly himself as well. She said that she has to do this and said if approrpiate she has no objections to me doing the same.

But my question is this - how do I deal with his bad behaviour?

His speech isnt where it should be for his age so I think a lot is frustration. I think he understands most of what I say to him ie he follows simple instructions, knows what I mean when I say its time to get my kids from school. But I cannot have a conversation with him about his behaviour, well I do but its one sided ie me. What I mean is, I dont get a response from him to know why he did what he did, how is feeling and what he would like to do instead of throwing toys ie have a time out, be by himself etc.

I dont know whether he would understand the concept of a reward chart.

I just struggle to know what I can give as a punishment - if it was my own kids, I would take away their TVs, DS, send them to bed early etc.

If we are indoors, I put him in the hallway to calm down etc. But he usually comes crawling back to the front room. I take him back but again am I allowed to keep doing this (like Supernanny suggests)? Or should I be doing something else.

I do get him to say Sorry and he does eventually. But when he has had a big tantrum, I am not sure whether he would remember what it was he did that he is being made to say Sorry for iyswim?

Any suggestions welcome as its wearing me out now!! And I dont want to end up dreading him coming just incase he has a tantrum.

Shar
06-02-2009, 07:16 PM
Sorry, sounds like age & stage!! Try to ignore the bad behviour when at home and deal with it as best you can at p.g. When he is being nice praise him lots, he may soon change his ways. Good luck.:thumbsup:

crazybones
06-02-2009, 07:20 PM
I think its a stage. I have a just turned 3 year old and I know his trigger points and try (very hard) to pre-empt (?sp) them. Distraction and not taking any notice is sort of working - slowly. Having said that I have just spent 15 mins arguing with him about why cant take a drink upstairs to his bedroom. :rolleyes:

huggableshelly
06-02-2009, 07:24 PM
wow you do have your hands full

when you place him in the hallway I'm presuming he is still in your sight, I understand you having to remove him away from the other children you may have in your care.

Supernanny has alot of great ideas but some are not practical for childminders a child should always be in your sight.

Ok have you tried supernanny's idea of a reward chart using clouds rather than just stickers?

set an easy target say 5 clouds or less. have a picutre of a plane or something he really enjoys. good behaviour allows him to move up a cloud but a temper tantrum makes him move down but try not to ponder too long on the unwanted behaviour as in reality we are sposed to ignore it and only react to good behaviour.

I would talk more with the parents .. has the child had his 3 year health check? ( not sure if they do a 3 yr one anymore). if able too I would suggest that the child is seen by a health visitor.

I'm not an expert but its worth looking into just incase there is an underlining issue going on other than just a terrible twos stage!

helenlc
06-02-2009, 08:02 PM
He is always in my sight yes, as I sit at the front room door and can see him and any other children I may have (currently just a 14 month old one day a week).

In regards to his trigger points, it seems to be when I pay attention to another child - which is kind of tricky when I may have a few with me!!

Yesterday, I was helping the 14 month old with standing practice and the 3 yr old was literally trying to squeeze in under my elbow and into my arms. I said to him Hold on and I will play with you in 2 minutes. But he carried on.

Apart from the 14 month old, it is just me and him for 9 hours a day 5 days a week. I feel like I need to crack the behaviour so that its easier when I have another child about.

I forgot about Supernanny's climbing chart. That may be a better way for him to see his progress but also his falls, as it were. I do praise him lots when he is good and especially when he does good sharing and plays nicely with another child. I shall make one up over the weekend!!

I know it is just an age thing and also him still wanting to test boundaries. And I do ignore it as long as its safe to do so.

Thanks for the advice given so far.