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lilsteff
05-02-2009, 12:46 PM
hey guys,

i work 72 and a half hours a week plus. (this is including saturday)

anyway i work from 5.45am til 6pm, one of the parents really takes the xxxx and doesnt pick her child up til 6.15pm i kinow its only 15minutes but i dont get any 'me' time, i do charge her for this and she laughs at me and tell me its a tuff life.

anyway this same parent put her child in on a saturday (which was ment 2 b just over xmas, and now its febuaray, i was doing it as a favor)

on a sunday is when i do my paper work etc but yesterday she came up to me and said my child will be atttending saturday and sunday starting this week, i tried to say no but she has a great ability of turning a molehill into a moutain and exagerating small situations, she makes me feel like a piece of **** of the bottom of her shoe when she starts playing the single parent c ry and how she has no family to help look after her and she needs me and relies on me to do as she says, i was flabbergasted and was lost for words, during this time she had left.

i am currently trying to write a letter explaining i no longer wanbt to work weekends, (its affecting my health, my family and my partner), i need some suggestions please! :mad:

anyway off topic i know this same parent gives me a load of grieff when i try to take holidays, last year i tokk 8 days off due to illness and gave her the number of my back up childminder which she refused to use, she then said she had to take the days off that i did cos she has no one etc etc. i gave her plenty of notice (6 weeks) to day a holiday or day off, obviously sickness i let them know asap.

i have seriously thought of giving up my childminding business beacsue im so stressed out, every few weeks im at the doctors becasue im so ill constantlywith stress and depression... the most recent case of visiting my gp was becasue my skin falared up... the gp diganised stress spots. please help me :(

venus89
05-02-2009, 01:02 PM
This parent sounds like a nightmare - poor you. What does your contract say about hours and days?

michellethegooner
05-02-2009, 01:04 PM
omg u have to stand your ground, wot are parents contracted days? if they are mon-fri then I would state you no longer offer saturdays as you have family ties and keep the wkend for yourself, I used to take hardly any holidays as I thought I have my own at home anyway so wots the difference? soon burnt myself out and dreaded mondays as I had had no time to recharge, I now take 5 weeks a year whether I go away or not.
Be strong and stand your ground a tired run down, ill childminder is no good to anyone including yourself and your family

cheeky monkeys
05-02-2009, 01:06 PM
hey guys,

i work 72 and a half hours a week plus. (this is including saturday)

anyway i work from 5.45am til 6pm, one of the parents really takes the xxxx and doesnt pick her child up til 6.15pm i kinow its only 15minutes but i dont get any 'me' time, i do charge her for this and she laughs at me and tell me its a tuff life.

anyway this same parent put her child in on a saturday (which was ment 2 b just over xmas, and now its febuaray, i was doing it as a favor)

on a sunday is when i do my paper work etc but yesterday she came up to me and said my child will be atttending saturday and sunday starting this week, i tried to say no but she has a great ability of turning a molehill into a moutain and exagerating small situations, she makes me feel like a piece of **** of the bottom of her shoe when she starts playing the single parent c ry and how she has no family to help look after her and she needs me and relies on me to do as she says, i was flabbergasted and was lost for words, during this time she had left.

i am currently trying to write a letter explaining i no longer wanbt to work weekends, (its affecting my health, my family and my partner), i need some suggestions please! :mad:

anyway off topic i know this same parent gives me a load of grieff when i try to take holidays, last year i tokk 8 days off due to illness and gave her the number of my back up childminder which she refused to use, she then said she had to take the days off that i did cos she has no one etc etc. i gave her plenty of notice (6 weeks) to day a holiday or day off, obviously sickness i let them know asap.

i have seriously thought of giving up my childminding business beacsue im so stressed out, every few weeks im at the doctors becasue im so ill constantlywith stress and depression... the most recent case of visiting my gp was becasue my skin falared up... the gp diganised stress spots. please help me :(

We childminders are self employed and at the end of the day it is up to us what hours we want to work.

As long as you stick to the hours on the contract and give her plenty of notice about holidays Then however hard it is for her as a single parent, you don't need to give her an explannation why you wont work weekends. Just say NO, it's hard but you will feel so much better for it.

Some parents will take the pee. As to being late all the time for pick up. I'd charge them at least £5 per 15 minutes that they are late. It would soon add up and they would think about it.

Good luck and be strong. X

berkschick
05-02-2009, 01:16 PM
Poor you.

I think I would write a to the point letter saying that you were happy to have helped out over xmas by working Saturdays but this is now taking its toll on yourself and your family and you have therefore come to the conclusion that you will no longer be able to offer ANY weekend care.

haribo
05-02-2009, 01:34 PM
is she using you at weekends to work? it seems unlikely she would need 7 days a week so is she after time to herself? in which case id be telling her in no uncertain terms that you need time for you and your family ..its hard though sayig it to her face it sounds like shes bullying you or at the least emotionally blackmailing you . could you write it down in a letter and maybe say the g.p has recommended you cut down for the sake of your health ?

yummymummy
05-02-2009, 01:35 PM
You poor thing, I know how easy it is to get caught up in minded parents lives, especially if they are single parents and feel sorry for them and try to help too much. In my experience sometimes the thanks and repayment you get for this is them absolutely using you and then getting into a huff if you don't do what they want.
You set your own business hours as is your business and I'm sure your agreed hours are in the contract you have with this lady. Send out a letter as the others have said and do not worry about it. You are entitled to a life, it is very sad that this lady has no family, is a single parent and has no help but it is her life and her problem, not yours.
If she doesn't like it and threatens to go elsewhere she will get a shock when she sees how helpful you have been compared to other childcare options. Well done for putting up with her for so long but I think unless you are desperate for the money if she went elsewhere it would be a blessing in disguise!

Chatterbox Childcare
05-02-2009, 01:59 PM
If you are really stressed and considering leaving because of this parent, why not ditch her?

Pudding Girl
05-02-2009, 02:04 PM
Flipping heck, get rid ASAP!!!! :mad:

Seriously, give her notice - this is not good for you! How much notice is required on your contract?

Alibali
05-02-2009, 02:34 PM
SAY NO!!!! Cheeky madam, who does she think she is.:angry:

LisaH
05-02-2009, 02:40 PM
I'm with Debbie on this one, this woman has to go!!!

I thought some of my parents took the p***, but she takes the biscuit for sure.

Have a word with her and tell her you are no longer willing/able to do the weekends and if she isn't happy give her notice.

Good luck with it.:)

wendywu
05-02-2009, 02:40 PM
It is not fair on any child to be with a minder from 5.45 to 6 7 days a week.

You could always blame your DH say he has refused to let you work weekends anymore. It is also his house and he wants his weekends to hinself.:)

RedDragon
05-02-2009, 02:45 PM
Or if you feel you can't change the hours charge her time and a half for Saturdays and double time for Sundays - with added prices for after 5:30pm.

That way at least if you are working so many hours you will be getting a hefty salary - save it all up then get rid after say 2 months and use the money to go on holiday with!


Don't let people put on you - life is far too short.

Pipsqueak
05-02-2009, 02:46 PM
You are self employed as stated on here already and this parent does not have right to treat you like this. You have a contract and you stick to that.
Write her a letter today saying:

with effect from today I shall be working my contract days and hours of:
xxxxxx
xxxxx

Due to repeated late collections I hereby give you notice that I intend to charge the following fee of £xxxx (make it substantial) for every 15minutes after the contracted time. This will be added onto the invoice at the end of the week.

Also please note that whilst i have enjoyed looking after xxx over the festive period I can no longer offer this service at the weekends. I have other committments to my family and professional development that I must turn my attentions too.




Stop letting this person dictate terms to you - if she continues i would bluntly tell her that you are self employed and she does not "own" you. If it continues I would tell her she is leaving you no choice but to consider terminating the contract due to her irrational demands and expectations.

Stop letting her make you feel guilty - you done all you could when you were ill to help out - her choice not to use someone else. You are entitled to time of as well - illness, holiday or just a plain lazy day. Cheeky cowbag she sounds.
Time to get tough

Hebs
05-02-2009, 02:52 PM
If you do give notice make sure mum knows that this DOES NOT include weekend care just contracted hours.

I'm a single mum too but wouldn't dream of playing a guilt trip like this on anyone if she can't get alternate care on weekends then she can A, change jobs or B, leave work! Her kid is not your responsibility on weekends xx

Ripeberry
05-02-2009, 02:59 PM
First of all you need to ask yourself; Do i need this parent?, what about the child who spends SO much time away from her parent? Is the mum depressed herself?
Sounds like she wants to be away from her child a bit TOO much.
YOU need to look after yourself.
YOU are the boss! The parent is just a client, she is NOT your employer!
She sounds like a right old bully and maybe she has been turned away by lots of other childminders.
Just write a letter to state that from IMMEADIATE effect you will no longer be working Saturdays and will NEVER work a Sunday! as you have a familly of your own.
If you went off sick with all this stress and could not work she would be left high and dry.
If she won't accept the letter and the terms then give her 4 weeks notice as per ORIGINAL contract and say that you can no longer work with her due to unreasonable conduct on her side.
Working in partnership applies to parents AS WELL!
Hope you come to an agreement and maybe get a nicer familly.
I'm making sure i don't get TOO many requests for Saturday working as i will be charging £7 an hour with no exception!
Stand your ground! You can do it! :thumbsup:

miffy
05-02-2009, 03:06 PM
This woman is a bully but you will have to stand up to her or she will continue to walk all over you.

I think you need to tell her face to face (as well as in a letter) that you will not be working weekends anymore starting immediately

It's no wonder you're stressed out trying to work 7 days a week. She's not even grateful is she?

Good luck - I know it's easier to say it than do it.

Miffy xx

RedDragon
05-02-2009, 03:10 PM
When there is something I have to do or say that I really am not looking forward to I tell myself that the actually telling part of it will only take a few minutes whereas the alternative is (working all weekend).

Be strong - we are here for you to give you courage and somewhere to let off steam.:clapping:

Ripeberry
05-02-2009, 03:16 PM
I do like Red Dragon's suggestion.....nice holiday, somewhere warm away from all this SNOW! :cool:

rickysmiths
05-02-2009, 03:34 PM
WOW! I thought I worked hard doing a 56hr week! but at least its over 5 days.

I really don't know how you do it. you don''t say if this is the only mindee you look after but if it isn't then you have to think of them and your family and the effects this is having. I know times are hard but is this parent really working 7 days a week?

I would give here notice in writting that (i'd give her a week) from xx time you will due to a change in family circumstances, not be working at all on weekends and you will be finishing at 5.30pm and would she make the appropriate arrangements. I would also book yourself some holiday at Easter as well and tell her these dates as well.

Good luck!

tammerisk
05-02-2009, 03:40 PM
If you are really stressed and considering leaving because of this parent, why not ditch her?

that is exactly what i was going to say give her 4 weeks notice and see what she says to that
if you have other then you will be fine i was in a simmalura situation working 7 till 7 6 days a week and i had to do an eveing job to to save up for our deposite for a house it is hard thankfully i didn't do the evening job for to long only 4 months.

samgeordie
05-02-2009, 03:56 PM
I know it can sometimes be hard but you need to be able to say NO. I wouldn't be happy with dealing with someone like this and would be giving notice to them asap. I don't know whether you really need this contract though so if you do give the mum a letter asap. Explain you are not able to work weekends any longer due to family committments. I know another childminder who was asked to work evenings and weekends (on top of the weekday hours - makes you wonder why people have kids but don't get me started). Anyway she said she couldn't but did find another childminder who would work those hours and gave her the ladies phone number and eve/weekend rates. Maybe you could see if someone else in your area does work the hours.

good luck

jibberjitz
05-02-2009, 08:31 PM
OMG that parent sounds like a nightmare - hope you can get it sorted out!

Liz

MrsT333
05-02-2009, 08:53 PM
I think she is taking the michael:angry:

if its affecting you that much I would hand in notice.

no money is worth that much, put yourself and your family first

look after yourself :)

wendywu
05-02-2009, 09:00 PM
Whats the update lilsteff have you given her the letter. I do hope so as the hours you work are too many for anyones health.

Hope it has gone OK :thumbsup:

lilsteff
25-03-2009, 10:54 AM
update!!!

well i gave her the letter and she wasnt amused (she didnt talk to me for 4 days cos of it, every pother parent was fine, i sent the letter to all parebts with a list of dates of my holidays and everyone was fine exept her.)

i just lket her get on woith it and she came around and finally undrrstood why i needed to do what i did. but still has the occasional dig about it, she even had the cheek for sum1 at her work place to phone me asking me to reconsider doing weekends again, i wasnt amused and said no way i need a life!

i now work mon-fri 6am til 6pm :)

Bananabrain
25-03-2009, 12:52 PM
Just read this and felt sooo sorry for you. Good for you for standing your ground. No-one could work all those hours without it affecting their health.

I would have said that ofsted regs prevent me from doing so many days.

I blame ofsted for lots of stuff!!!! Parents can't argue then:laughing:

huggableshelly
25-03-2009, 01:00 PM
i blamed the food agency for me not providing hot meals anymore ...

glad you have claimed your wkends back now, the occaisonal wkends are fine but not constantly.

well done for standing up to her :clapping:

wendywu
25-03-2009, 01:15 PM
Your freeeeeeeeeeeeee:clapping:

spowage
25-03-2009, 01:20 PM
ykies! just say NO! and be strong your family comes first she really is taking the p*** ! people are selfish and dont think.i work till 6.30 pm and thats long enough karen

Alibali
25-03-2009, 01:33 PM
Hope you're now enjoying your weekends, you deserve to relax after working 50 hrs a week. Well done for standing firm.

LittleMissSparkles
25-03-2009, 02:01 PM
update!!!

well i gave her the letter and she wasnt amused (she didnt talk to me for 4 days cos of it, every pother parent was fine, i sent the letter to all parebts with a list of dates of my holidays and everyone was fine exept her.)

i just lket her get on woith it and she came around and finally undrrstood why i needed to do what i did. but still has the occasional dig about it, she even had the cheek for sum1 at her work place to phone me asking me to reconsider doing weekends again, i wasnt amused and said no way i need a life!

i now work mon-fri 6am til 6pm :)

just read you rthread and Im sooo glad you have got this sorted, she sounds like a nightmare hope she sticks to contracted times now and isnt late collecting ! xxx