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View Full Version : Advice needed please ladies



Jules27
03-02-2009, 06:06 PM
My full time mindee is 13 months old and extremely clingy, really has no idea how to play. Everytime I move away from her she cries and comes running after me. I've had her for 4 weeks now and is getting no better. So much so its becoming a chore rather than a pleasure looking after her:(

Running out of ideas really. She has obviously been on mums hip for a year before she went back to work. I never see mum, dad does drop off/collection and TBH he doesn't have a clue:rolleyes:

My friend has a son who is 12 months, they came round today and the difference between the children is unbelievable. He is doing so much more than her, doing everything a 12 month old should be doing. She just does nothing! I'm spending most of my time teaching her how to play which is really sad. I get the feeling at home she is sat on someones lap and has toys brought to her to play with. I did try taing her outside in the snow but she hated it. May be better once it gets a little warmer so I can take her to the park?

Just feeling a bit down about it as was so looking forward to having a full timer from this age :(

Lottie
03-02-2009, 06:14 PM
All children at that age, or any age, are different and develop at different speeds. This probably the most likely cause and there are no real hard and fast rules at this age group. It sounds possible that the baby doesn't get enough stimulation at home, or, that she is still adjusting to you and your home. She could be a little shy or still a little nervous.
It sounds like she probably doesn't have any other siblings? If that is so,it could also be the case that she does not know how to play because she hasn't been around children.

Maybe ask the Mother to pop over for a chat over a cup of tea. Ask her about the set up at home and your concerns.

Hope this helps.

Jules27
03-02-2009, 06:17 PM
She has a brother who is a year older but he doesn't come to me! Long story!!

Just going to keep going, really don't know what family life is like, they are a bit strange! Hopefully will get a bit easier as time goes on!

Chatterbox Childcare
03-02-2009, 06:18 PM
Just keep on doing what you are doing and slowly move away from her. it is a security thing and I suspect she is feeling insecure as her whole world has changed.

Lottie
03-02-2009, 06:21 PM
Four weeks is still early days really. Maybe as you say it will get easier.

After nearly two months of looking after one of my children, I am just at the threshold of a break through regarding his behaviour patterns, they were awful to begin with. It sometimes takes time to adjust to a child and for the child to adjust to you.

Do you know if the brother is the same?

Jules27
03-02-2009, 06:34 PM
The brother is not as bad. But he has been going to s childminder since he was 4 months old so he has never really known any different!

mandy moo
03-02-2009, 07:21 PM
She has a brother who is a year older but he doesn't come to me! Long story!!

Just going to keep going, really don't know what family life is like, they are a bit strange! Hopefully will get a bit easier as time goes on!


:laughing: sorry shouldnt laugh, but there a lot of them about, I too have a family like that.

mandy moo
03-02-2009, 07:22 PM
:laughing: sorry shouldnt laugh, but there a lot of them about, I too have a family like that.

Then it could be said, there is me and mine:laughing: :laughing:

ChocolateChip
03-02-2009, 09:39 PM
It could be that at her age she could be showing signs of separation anxiety.
It is a normal pattern of behaviour around 1yr old, they suddenly realise that actually mum can leave them behind!
I had one who started with me like this, all he did for 3 weeks was stand by the gate across the hall doorway as if waiting for mum- wouldn't play with anything, it was awful, buy suddenly he just got over it.
Another one who started with me at 8mths and was brilliant also started this at 12mths.
Can't paste a link as on my oh's laptop at the mo but I'm sure if you google you might find something useful.I will try to get it to you when my laptop is up and running again.

angeldelight
03-02-2009, 10:24 PM
Good advice from everyone

Just wanted to ask if you are ok - you said you are feeling down ?

Angel xx

ChocolateChip
04-02-2009, 02:11 PM
http://kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/feelings/separation_anxiety.html

Hope this works- and helps!
It may not be the reason for her clinginess, but maybe some of it will help anyway.
Hope you are okay :thumbsup:

bree
19-02-2009, 03:12 PM
oh jules....4wks, must feel like a lifetime? how are things going now???
im with you on this one... its really hard going esp with two other kids... i had thought they'd distract him ..instead they now dont like him ( he's giving them a head ache!! )

Jules27
19-02-2009, 06:03 PM
I don't have her in school hols so having a week off from her!!! lol!! The last week before half term wasn't too bad - not good but not ALL bad!!! Dreading monday as am sure she will be a little b*****, hey ho!!!:laughing: :laughing:

Seriously though, if I get the offer of another full timer I may give notice. Can't be like this forever esp when I have other children to consider. Am just going to see how it goes/what enquiries come along. Thing is payment is always so prompt every friday with out fail. Would hate to give that up for a parent who is rubbish at paying on time.:laughing: