View Full Version : Probs with parent again

29-01-2008, 06:09 PM
I never seem to get throught a whole week without a prob with mindees parent.

As you will prob know I am new to childminding and have only one 11mth mindee 3 days a week for 8 hrs a day. It has not been a smooth ride from the start not with mindee he is a wee star..:laughing:

So mindees mum latest jibe this week is that he is going home with to much energy, so she now thinks that he should go to an activity everyday he is with me. I am not opposed to this idea as I don't want to be stuck in the house 8hrs a day

However I am not sure how I charge for going to these 'activities'. I mind in a small village so I would travel roughly 12-14mls round trip, and then there is addmission fees. I would be using my own car as transport (class 1 insured)!

The issues that worry me are mum is always late with her childminding payments and do not think she will come up with addmission fees. Also she has not asked to do this she has told me, again I feel that is because I only look after her son.

That brings me to the next prob there has been an enquiry about me having another mindee(early stages) how does that work if there parents don't want there mindee going to same activities?

Do us childminders decide how we full our day with the exception of school/nursery runs, I am feeling backed in a corner on this one as I am not earning much money at the mo and can't keep putting petrol in my car on outings.:panic:

Thanks for any help on this.

Love Alak xx

29-01-2008, 06:11 PM
charge her petrol and activities cost and dont back down shes asked you to go!!!!!!!

29-01-2008, 06:14 PM
Your house, your business, your rules, your outings... you say where you go and ask parent for the £1 cash entrance fee (or however much it is) as this is part of her child's social life...

A parent does not tell you where to go or what to do or when to do it... unless it's a safety or health issue, when you would obviously take their views into consideration.

If her son is too awake at night I suggest she plays with him! :D

These ****** parents :angry:

29-01-2008, 06:15 PM
and dont forget to charge her 40p per mile she will soon be skint and not ask you to go places:clapping: :clapping:

29-01-2008, 06:21 PM
Your house, your business, your rules, your outings... you say where you go and ask parent for the £1 cash entrance fee (or however much it is) as this is part of her child's social life...

A parent does not tell you where to go or what to do or when to do it... unless it's a safety or health issue, when you would obviously take their views into consideration.

If her son is too awake at night I suggest she plays with him! :D

These ****** parents :angry:

Ditto!! I make it very clear in my information where I go each day and what activities I attend. Like you say when you take on more mindees it may not be suitable or possible to do certain activities so I would be careful what you agree to.

Good luck

amanda xx

29-01-2008, 06:23 PM
I take the children to activities...have started going to toddler gym, and it does wear them out!I did ask parents if they are ok with the admission fees (wrote it in the child's diary)and they were fine with it.
I am sure she will be fine with it...charge her in advance if you can.

Good luck

29-01-2008, 06:34 PM
You are all such a great help:)

I will feel so much stronger now tomorrow morning now I am armed with such good info, that will teach her.:laughing:

I will make sure I get money up front before I go to any activities.

I think the petrol charges could be a bit of an issue but will work on that.

Thanks again everyone:thumbsup:

Alak xx

29-01-2008, 06:43 PM
I can't understand the parent.
I am sure going for a walk or going to the park or even running around the house or garden is using as much energy as an activity centre. Maybe once a fortnight at a push I would do it, but not at my own expense. What does she want you to do about it? Take him everyday, as from what she has said he is full of energy so often at home time...
Some kids are full of energy, it's her child, if she has a problem with it, maybe she should take her child to the activity center on her way home from yours?!:mad:

29-01-2008, 07:21 PM
As everybody has said your house your rules.

Sometimes parents do get a bit jealous and guilty and that does manifest itself in snide comments and catty remarks.

I had a parent on friday in a jokey way as if I had fed the child Calpol because he was so tired when she came to pick him up...I could have quite happily punched her :censored: lights out!!!! but instead chose to point out on my activity sheet and the fact that we had been running around playing Star Wars for the past hour may have had something to do with it!


29-01-2008, 07:21 PM
i think that if the parent asks you for anything extra that hasnt initally been agreed when you signed contracts then the parent should be liable to pay otherwise they'll walk all over you!

Inexpensive ideas for phyiscal activity is pop up tents and cyliners for the little one to crawl through in or out doors, mother and toddler groups, park, music and dance etc. You could say to her that you have thought about what she has said and say (even if you already do it!) that your'll incorporate half and hour - and hours phyiscal actvity into the childs day and say what you propose. Then slip in "that way you do not entail any additional charges!" Make it look like your doing her a favour!!!

If she still doesnt get it, i would be blunt and say whilst your happy to take her lo everyday to an activity centre it will not be financially viable for you to cover the cost of doing so and you would have to seek the admission fee from her in advance.

good luck! xx

Minnie Minx
29-01-2008, 07:25 PM
you must get the petrol fees otherwise you will be a lot of money out of pocket. Be firm and strong, remember you are in charge of your business, the parent's arent :)


29-01-2008, 07:32 PM
the only thing I'm thinking is by charging for the petrol is that you wouldnt be able to offset it as an expenditure for your tax as you've been paid up front for it???? I guess its swings and roundabouts, yes initially she would have a hole in her pocket, but i'd rather that than a tax bill at the end of my first year!

29-01-2008, 07:39 PM
I am sure the parents get home from there work/college/uni pick up there son/daughter from us (wonderful childminders) and want to go home and no matter what age they are they expect them to ...

a. be happy

b. not want to much attention

c. not to demand anything

d. sit quietly until bedtime

e. eat there tea in peace

f. jump into there cots/bed and go to sleep without making a peep

g. I could go on and on on on

We do seem to get the backlash from there day at work and then the morning bad mood when they drop them off.

I feel quite well armed now. He is only 11ths and he crawls all day long and we walk the dog for an hour a day, mindee is in his stroller but he is taking everything in around him. Spring is just around the corner so hopefully going to the parks and beach might keep mums face straight until the next whinge.:laughing:

Love Alak xx

29-01-2008, 08:08 PM
What's he supposed to do at an activity centre that he doesn't already do at yours anyway? It's not like he'll be running about or anything and to be honest I think they get worn out at that age by just going out for walks in the buggy etc because they're learning and concentrating the whole time and that's just as tiring.

Poor you having to deal with a mum making such ridiculous and pointless demands!

30-01-2008, 10:53 AM
You should point out that if he is too full of energy it probably has some thing to do with being excited to see his mum as he has not seen her all day.

Ask her what she does with him at the weekend, Ha I bet nothing!


Let us know what she says when you have had a word with her. Be strong.

30-01-2008, 10:58 AM
Did you speak to the parent how did it go ?

Angel xx

30-01-2008, 02:03 PM
Have to say I've been to toddlers & soft play where the mindees have got bored quickly and found theres much less to do than with me.

If I take mindees to places parents have requested then I bill in advance for the cost of admission plus 40p per mile for transport. (one mum kindly arranged me a lift to avoid the transport charge which I accepted at the time as I had no other mindees).

Generally, I prefer to plan my "curriculum" myself. Which means I pay for most things like toddler groups. If I go to anything further afield, or with pricey admission then I give parents a booking form to return their permission and payment in advance. If I don't get all the booking forms & payments we don't go (or I re-arrange it for a day when the non-payer is not booked to attend).

We go for walks most days and go to local parks a lot. At home, I do a lot of music & movement (much to my embarrassment when the postie comes by lol) especially on any day where we don't go out. I love the sound of my own voice and fortunately the mindees can bear it (dd once urged me to enter for X Factor, then let on she thought it would be funny to see me on-screen in with the no-hopers). Our current favourite is Hap Palmer "So Big" CD. Its brilliant. We get to be jack-in-the box, seeds growing into trees and all sorts of things. And theres one where you chuck your teddy in the air & walk round with it on your head (thats the bit when the postie walks by the window lol).

30-01-2008, 07:08 PM
Hi everyone

I took all your advice and spoke to mindees mum this morning about taking mindee to 'activities'.

She never let me get a word in edgeways, it seems today she was not bothered about mindee going anywhere because she was back to having her lie-ins and mindee was still in babygro with soaked nappy and his morning milk bottle. AAAHHHHH:panic: she went on to say that would it be okay if I could change his nappy and dress him and feed bottle????

What was I supposed to say???? He was really upset and crying when his mum ran off to work.

So when dad came to pick him up I mentioned 'activities' and costs ie petrol and entrance fees but you guessed it....no nothing about it speak to my wife about it.

AAAAHHHHH There is no helping some people. I had a sleepless night on Monday worrying about all this 'activities' stuff not less than 48hrs later it is not worthy of a conversation!!!!

I cannot remember what thread it was but the wee lad prob does get a second wind when mum or dad pick him up because he is happy to see them. It did cross my mind at one point if he was over tired as he only has a sleep in the morning but it can be for up to 2 hrs. So he is on the go all afternoon.

Thanks for all replies.
Love Alak xx

30-01-2008, 07:56 PM
Sounds like mom is a fuss pot and whatever you do is going to be wrong

Hope it all sorts it self out in the end

Angel xx

Minnie Minx
30-01-2008, 07:58 PM
i don't know about fusspot she sounds a right nightmare!!


30-01-2008, 08:02 PM
Doomed if you do and doomed if you dont!

Poor you, whatever you do will be wrong.