lushy78
15-01-2009, 01:38 PM
Hi guys,
Not a great way to start my first post on this forum, but found it in desparation. I started childminding in march 07 and to begin with it was fantastic, I enjoyed every single day. I had one full timer who was 18 months and a 3 year old once a week plus my own DD. I then took on another full timer who for the longest time was fine, settled well and has been great. Lost the wednesday boy and took on another full timer. The third full timer had been let go from another childminder who said she was wearing, and I have found her exactly the same and since she has started I am permanently naggy and tired all the time. So despite finding it very hard, I told the parents it wasnt working out and found her a place with another less busy childminder with no little ones of her own at home. She is due to make the switch soon. However since she started the second of my fulltimers who is now 13 months has started with the most horrendous seperation anxiety I have ever known. Not just from his mum but from me too. He screams blue murder at the door every morning, the mum is very good at doing quick goodbyes and she herself is absolutely exhausted with it so cant wait to leave in the morning! If I put him down ( he is not yet walking) he screams for ages, if I stand up he screams, if I leave the room to go in the kitchen or bathroom he screams, if I hug my own daughter he screams. I am finding it so exhausting, the other mindees are suffering as I literally cannot do anything with them and half the time cant even hear them. My own DD wants mummy back and even my own husband says Ive changed and that he preferred me before I started minding.
Yesterday I just burst into tears infront of them all and just want my life back and to enjoy my daughter again, instead of yelling at her "not now mummy's busy". I have no idea how to tackle this seperation anxiety as he has been fine for the last 6 months so it's not like he needs settling in. I have a new starter in March she will be 6 months and thinking of just giving them all up and keeping her ( she has been on my books since 6 weeks conception)so that it will be easy to take her and my daughter out together and there will be less fighting over toys due to the age gap and dd will feel she has her mummy back to some extent. I feel awful however just saying to this little boys mum I cant have him as she herself is at the end of her tether with it too as she cant move a muscle at home without the screaming and tears starting. I have tried comforting things, photos allsorts, he calls me mummy and seems to think we are both his mummy and will only go to the two of us, an aunty and a nan. I have become very good friends with his mum and feel I am letting her down, but Im not sure I can take much more. Any constructive advice would be so gratefully recieved.
Not a great way to start my first post on this forum, but found it in desparation. I started childminding in march 07 and to begin with it was fantastic, I enjoyed every single day. I had one full timer who was 18 months and a 3 year old once a week plus my own DD. I then took on another full timer who for the longest time was fine, settled well and has been great. Lost the wednesday boy and took on another full timer. The third full timer had been let go from another childminder who said she was wearing, and I have found her exactly the same and since she has started I am permanently naggy and tired all the time. So despite finding it very hard, I told the parents it wasnt working out and found her a place with another less busy childminder with no little ones of her own at home. She is due to make the switch soon. However since she started the second of my fulltimers who is now 13 months has started with the most horrendous seperation anxiety I have ever known. Not just from his mum but from me too. He screams blue murder at the door every morning, the mum is very good at doing quick goodbyes and she herself is absolutely exhausted with it so cant wait to leave in the morning! If I put him down ( he is not yet walking) he screams for ages, if I stand up he screams, if I leave the room to go in the kitchen or bathroom he screams, if I hug my own daughter he screams. I am finding it so exhausting, the other mindees are suffering as I literally cannot do anything with them and half the time cant even hear them. My own DD wants mummy back and even my own husband says Ive changed and that he preferred me before I started minding.
Yesterday I just burst into tears infront of them all and just want my life back and to enjoy my daughter again, instead of yelling at her "not now mummy's busy". I have no idea how to tackle this seperation anxiety as he has been fine for the last 6 months so it's not like he needs settling in. I have a new starter in March she will be 6 months and thinking of just giving them all up and keeping her ( she has been on my books since 6 weeks conception)so that it will be easy to take her and my daughter out together and there will be less fighting over toys due to the age gap and dd will feel she has her mummy back to some extent. I feel awful however just saying to this little boys mum I cant have him as she herself is at the end of her tether with it too as she cant move a muscle at home without the screaming and tears starting. I have tried comforting things, photos allsorts, he calls me mummy and seems to think we are both his mummy and will only go to the two of us, an aunty and a nan. I have become very good friends with his mum and feel I am letting her down, but Im not sure I can take much more. Any constructive advice would be so gratefully recieved.