up set mum

[bestmum2have]

Morning everyone, I was wondering if anyone can help with my question. Over the weekend a very up set mum came to me telling me what had happened at her last minders.
Her son had hair mites really bad and after many treatments they kept coming back.
The minder noticed her son still had mites and took it upon herself to treat the mites, washing his hair in mite shampoo. Not only did she do that, she let her 12 year old son take him to the hairdressers to get his hair cut.
I asked her whether she'd given written authority for her to do that. And basically the mum couldn't remember.
When the mum returned from work and could see what had happened she went mad. The minder said she had every right to do what she did.
That night at 9.30 the minder gave notice.
Saying she wasn't going to look after her son again. So today she's got no child care.
Are we allowed to take such action? where do we stand with this?
What should I tell this up set Mum.
All this over the week end and when I get to my Nursery this morning, they have lost a child,
the little boy appartently just walked out.
And they want us to be more like Nursery's hmmm.

[angeldelight]

Have they found the child at the nursery this morning ? That is awful

Let us know what happens


The parent who treated the child with head lice ? Well I just can not believe that she went and let her 12 year old go with him to have his hair cut

Of course this is not allowed

I would also be upset if I was this mom

I would not have given the minder chance to have given me notice because I would have removed my child straight out of the setting

If someone cut my childs hair with out having my permission I would very strongly complain and I would be on the phone to Ofsted this morning

Does she want you to mind the child now ?

Angel xx

[LittleMissSparkles]

How awful I hope the child is ok from the nursery x

As for the minder I personally think she needs reporting for her actions by the parent..... I dont think allowing a 12 years old to take the child for his hair cut or her even having it cut is allowed I am sure Ofsted would see it that way too, may be that is why she gave notice as she realised she could be in big poo poo

xxx

[angeldelight]

I do not know any childminder that would ask a parent to sign a permission form to enable you to have a childs hair cut

So of course I doubt 100% that the parent did sign anything to give her permission - even if she cant remember it is just not something that a childminder would do

xx

[sarah707]

I can see it from the minder's point of view - repeated (and potentially untreated) nits... but surely she ought to just say 'I can't have him any more until the nits are gone'.... rather than taking the matter into her own hands... isn't that child abuse if it's done without permission???

Oh I hope they find the Nursery child - a little one went walkabout from a nursery close to us (not ours) the other week - very scary!

[bestmum2have]

When I left Nursery this morning at 9.30 everybody was still looking for the little boy, the Police had been sent for. I will find out later.

The hair mites where treated by the minder not parent !
I would never dream of doing that.
Where do we stand with that one, even with written permission. As minders are we allowed to treat mites?

She does want me to look after her son, but I cant I'm full at the moment.
I've given her some other minders that might be able to help.
Poor mum.
Thanks
Toni

[angeldelight]

I have never heard anything like it

It is just not something that a parent would do to another child if it was not your own

Childminder or not - you would not go and get another childs hair cut would you - it is just not right whatever your views are on head lice and even if they had them a 100 times a year - you would just not go and have a childs hair cut apart from your own child

I think this minder is totally out of order and I would tell this parent to report her

Was she actually registered ??

xx

[angeldelight]

I would not treat a childs hair if they had head lice

If the parent did not get rid of them though and the child did keep coming to my setting with them - I would refuse to have the child until it was sorted out

I do not think the childminder had the right to treat this childs hair - for one thing the child could have been allergic to the chemicals of whatever she used

I am amazed to be honest

She does not sound like she is registed - it is not something that any registered childminder would do

Angel xx

Hope they find the child keep us posted

[bestmum2have]

You can tell I'm new to this, you can all type quicker than me.
Toni

[angeldelight]

You will soon get the hang of it Toni haha

Hope you are enjoying the forum ?

xx

[sarah707]

You can tell I'm new to this, you can all type quicker than me.
Toni

See, we help with Childminding problems... and speed up people's typing!

Multi-tasking, that's us :laughing:

[bestmum2have]

This childminder is very well known in Warrington, my home town.
She has her husband working with her.
She minds all hours, shes been registered for years.
That makes it worse.
Toni

[angeldelight]

Sounds like she has got higher than her station if you ask me

Angel xx

[LittleMissSparkles]

This childminder is very well known in Warrington, my home town.
She has her husband working with her.
She minds all hours, shes been registered for years.
That makes it worse.
Toni


she needs reporting xxx

[buildingblocks]

This childminder is very well known in Warrington, my home town.

but is it in a good or a bad way

She minds all hours, shes been registered for years.
often minders who have done it their way for many years do not see why they should change or see that they are doing anything wrong

That makes it worse.
Toni

I also think mum should report this minder. No way should she have allowed her 12 year old son to take child to hairdressers. I have it in my policies that I will work with parents on this matter but do not treat them that is down to parents and I do not refuse admittance unless paretn refuses to treat the child.

[angeldelight]

Just because she is well known and been childminding for ages are people scared to say anything bad about her ??

Sorry but I would encourage this parent to report her - she should not have had this boys hair cut it is just not right I do not care how well know or how good she is - she is obviously not doing her job right now

Angel xx

[bestmum2have]

There isn't many minders in our area any more, and I persume that she has become, like you said above her station.
I don't think the mum will report her, she likes the easy life. But does that then leave the responsibilty of reporting her to me. Or do I let it go aswell.
Hmmmmmmmmm.
Toni

[LittleMissSparkles]

personally I would report her as I couldnt wrestle my conscience if something happened to another child more seriously than a hair cut iyswim, you have to ask yourself if you couldlive with it nowing you may have been able to stop something happening xxx

[bestmum2have]

Hi
Yes I know what your saying and it does make sense, I will try and have another word with the mum.
I think mum is frightened that if she reports her then this minder might black mark her name with other minders in the area. So that she wouldn't be able to get child care.
Child care that is urgently needed.
Off to Nursery to see if they've found the missing little one.
Toni

[Banana]

She needs to report this minder! It is 100% not acceptable for her to have done what she has. And allowing a 12 year old to take them to the hairdressers?? Ludicrous!

Advise the mum she needs to be reported! If it was me I would just refuse care for the child until the lice had gone... I would never do anything like this!

I hope that the little one is found at the nursery... how horrifying!

x

[Pipsqueak]

The minder needs reporting whether by the parents or you (bestmum). Bestmum even if you speak to NCMA helpline in confidence and get their advice. It is up to every childminder who is serious and dedicated to protect the children and to ensure that our reputations are upheld. (Sorry another subject I am passionate about).

If this mum did give written permission to get the childs haircut then she should still have the documentation and could produce it if questioned but it sounds doubtful doesn't it.

This minder should NOT have done what she did. And as for giving sudden notice like that she would be in breach of the 4 week notice (or however it is stated on the contract). There has to be absolute evidence that grounds for termination is immediate - like abusive/threatening behaviour etc.

I would seek advice from NCMA helpline AND report to OFSTED.

[Hopscotch]

That is totally out of order i would be furious if i was the parent, she needs to be reported.
Bev X

[emler]

As above!!!! I'm absolutely gobsmacked that a childminder would allow her 12 year old to take a mindee to have their hair cut - she must definately be reported for this

Emler x

[buildingblocks]

But does that then leave the responsibilty of reporting her to me. Or do I let it go aswell.Hmmmmmmmmm.Toni

If you do not want to report her to Ofsted then why not have a word with your local EY dept see if you can get them to do anything.

Also try the angle with mum that if she does not report her then she may do this again to another child and would mum want that to happen

[buildingblocks]

And as for giving sudden notice like that she would be in breach of the 4 week notice (or however it is stated on the contract). .


And that would mean that the minder would have to pay mum 4 weeks notice money (I think that is right not sure though)

[bestmum2have]

up date.
The little boy who went missing has been found, he was on his way home, yes he'd already crossed one busy main road. The mind boggles what could have happened.
The Nursery are playing the incident down, obvious reasons even still it's very serious.
Questions need to be addressed and procedures tightened. Last time when another child escaped they installed higher fences.
This occassion it seems that no one was on the door supervising.
Tomorrow will be interesting by that time all the parents will know about it.
Today they were letting children go home as soon as they saw parents or minders etc. Nobody was waiting outside.
Thanks for all your reassurance its good to know that others do feel the same.
Toni

[angeldelight]

Thank god the child was found and not hurt that is good news

I would imagine questions are going to be asked this time though

They can not be allowed to get away with this

Angel xx

[LittleMissSparkles]

thank god he was found safe x

[Pipsqueak]

Thank goodness the little one was alright, it makes your heart sink when you hear something like that.

How can the nursery play it down - it is a major incident and error on their part. Disgraceful.

[Spangles]

So glad they found the little boy safe and sound. His parents must have been frantic! I'd go absolutely mad if I were them!

[ajs]

i haven't read all of the replies because i haven't got time but
i have treated a childs hair but i got full permission and every thing signed etc i did it because i knew by the time mum got home she wouldn't have time to spend combing through etc but it was done in full consent of everyone concerned.

i seriously think that even though the childminder has been registered for a long time that is no excuse for daring to take the child to the hairdresser without permission, even if she was fed up eith the head lice and i am sure she was she should never presume to get any child's hair cut. it is just not her job to that.

if it was me i would call ofsted and tell them what you know third hand and let them take it from there, if this is waht you've heard there could be other things happening in the setting that you haven't heard.

[Polly2]

So glad little boy found - I bet he was really scared.

As for this "childminder" I think what she did was terrible. I went mad when my mum-in-law cut my daughters hair so I can imagine what this mum feels like.

Needs to be reported - she will only do it to someone else otherwise.

[bestmum2have]

Thanks Mandy for that, I was also wondering what else is going on there that I might not have heard about.
It does make you wonder what sort of setting is she running!

[ajs]

you're welcome toni
to be honest i have been at the end of a malicious complaint so i would never recommend going to ofsted about anything but the most serious issues but this to me is above and beyond what we take as our responsibility
my 6 year old mindee was complaining her shoes hurt her but i don't feel that's my job to check her feet so i just told mum she needed to get them done
getting a mindees hair cut without permission is abuse as sarah says and as such has to be reported to ofsted let them deal with it. then you know you have done all you can to ensure no other child has to be treated this way.

good luck and be sure waht you tell us on here is kept between us on here we won't be letting anyone know that it was discussed by you so your complaint to ofsted will remain confidential.

[peggy]

so glad the little boy was okay - i bet there is one furious parent out there right now!!!

There is a BIG difference between treating headlice and cutting the childs hair!! Well out of order, there are ways and means of dealing with a situation like this and having the hair cut just wouldnt even enter in the equasion!!! And did i read correctly that the 12 year old son took the child to the hairdressers????!!!!!! If i did i would also be question why this child was left in the care of another child??

I would suggest the parent report her to Ofsted, its very difficult situation for you to be in, firstly do you know 100% that the incident occured? You could report the childminder yourself but i would be reluctant to do so on just on what the mother has said, you could cause a whole lot of trouble for yourself and your damage your reputation as a childminder if the whole thing has been made up!

[ajs]

so glad the little boy was okay - i bet there is one furious parent out there right now!!!

There is a BIG difference between treating headlice and cutting the childs hair!! Well out of order, there are ways and means of dealing with a situation like this and having the hair cut just wouldnt even enter in the equasion!!! And did i read correctly that the 12 year old son took the child to the hairdressers????!!!!!! If i did i would also be question why this child was left in the care of another child??

I would suggest the parent report her to Ofsted, its very difficult situation for you to be in, firstly do you know 100% that the incident occured? You could report the childminder yourself but i would be reluctant to do so on just on what the mother has said, you could cause a whole lot of trouble for yourself and your damage your reputation as a childminder if the whole thing has been made up!

i agree with that peggy but it doesn't sound as if the mum was inclined to report her, if you just give ofsted a call saying you've heard it third hand and actually have no proof they will still investigate and there is no reason why anybody should know who reported her unless of course mum tells the minder that she's spoken to bestmum2have and the minder puts two and two together

[Blaze]

And that would mean that the minder would have to pay mum 4 weeks notice money (I think that is right not sure though)

We are actually liable for any loss of earnings that parents incur in the notice period...due to lack of notice...IYSWIM!

So pleased the LO was found!

I've been on the end of a malicious compalint...I still think this really needs reporting.

Keep us posted!
Tasha:)

[Trouble]

i would report her and dont childminders have to give 4 weeks notice?

[Banana]

generally yes, depends on what notice period you agree to when signing contracts

x

[bestmum2have]

Afternoon ladies, first time I have been able to get on the computer today.
Mother with the child with hair mites, doesn't want to make ripples which is what I thought yesterday.
But I cant let it go.
I think I will call Ofsted in the morning and tell them what I've heard third hand no proof and let them sort it out.
I couldn't care less whether the minder finds out its me that's reported her she shouldn't have done what she did.
Around the immediate area where this minder lives, there is a kind of mafia of minders. All for one and all that. These minders are charging anything around £6 to £8 per hour.
Its a high Social Security, one parent family benefit area and they know that Tax Credits will pay them.
These minders are taking the **** out of our proffession.
Toni

[angeldelight]

Good luck Toni

Let us know what happens

Angel xx

[ajs]

yes keep us posted toni
and good luck i hope ofsted do something it sounds like they need their butts kicking the minder mafia

[Mollymop]

Gosh they do charge alot round your area!
I was shocked to read what the chilminder did to the little lad!
I agree with you about ringing oFsted, someone has to stand up to her, what if she did it to some other child.
Glad to hear the nursery child was found, I can't beleive they let the children waitoutside for their parents. I thought most nurseys keep the kiddies in until the parents arrive anyway?

XX

[Pipsqueak]

:clapping: Bravo on you bestmum for taking a brave step - well done.



Oh my The Mafia Minders...... Thats scary (actually we have a clique around here!)

[bestmum2have]

Hi vik3000

Love the attachment, made me giggle especially after a pooh day.

Screaming, shouting, moaning, crying and wetting their pants and that was the mothers never mind the kids......ha ha :laughing:

Its going to be a long week
Toni

[peggy]

well done you for standing up to the "mob"! Hope it goes okay let us know what ofsted say! xx

[merry]

Hi Toni, I'm in Warrington too. Can you say which nursery it was? I've heard before about a minder who cut a child's hair herself and the parent reported her to Ofsted, all they did was tell her not not to it again! The parent was furious, it was a baby and his first haircut!

[LittleMissSparkles]

but did she send her own 12 year old child by himself to the hairdressers with the baby Merry ??? thats what this woman did she didnt even go with the child whos hair was cut xxxx

[merry]

I know, it's stunning that she thought she could do that, and what kind of hairdresser cuts a kid's hair when he's been brought in by a 12 year old!! From what I know about complaints to Ofsted though, it seems they do very little. I've known cases where complaints were made about over-minding, children being left with minders teenage children, not put in car seats - nothing ever happens. I made a complaint about a nursery once, over ratio, only one carer with children when out and they did nothing but sit on a park bench and read the paper while the kids went crazy, all I was told was that the nursery had been able to explain it satisfactorily!

:)

[LittleMissSparkles]

makes you soo mad thought doesnt it then when god forbid anything serious happens somewhere they say no one reported them for blah blah blah .........

[barbarella68]

Dear All,
I totally agree with everyone but I feel that Toni must be careful as she heard this from the mother ,does Toni know the lady who was supposed to have done this,only I know from experience that not all parents tell the truth and some make it seem that they are the victims when this is not always true.If Toni does report the childminder and it comes back that it was not true she could be in a lot of trouble which obviously we don't want.
Alyson

[bestmum2have]

Evening ladies,
News on the minder that cut the little boys hair because he had head lice.
The mother herself reported the minder to Ofsted.
I'm not certain what will happen now, in my experience probably nothing.
I have juggled things around and I will be able to mind this little one next month.
So hopefully all will be ok. May be with a little nudge from Ofsted this minder will stop and think of the dangers she put the little one in.
No 12 year old should be left in charge of a mindee.
Toni

[flora]

Toni, you can report this "childminder" to OFSTED anon if you want an "easy life" but I do think it needs to be done. Hope the little one turns up at nursery. We lost my nephew on the farm once. My sister had told him to go and play quietly while the car was loaded to go home, after a couple of minutes we did a quick head count and he was no where to be seen, we called shouted and my poor sister was going crazy as depsite six adults and two kids calling him no reply!! She was just about to go into complete breakdown when we found him behind the armchair in the lounge. When asked why he didn't reply he said that we'd told him to play quietly!!!
Hope your tale has an equally happy ending.

[bestmum2have]

Hi Flora the little one turned up at Nursery, he was found not too far from school. The teachers didn't notice he had gone missing.
He was trying to make his way home to find his mum.
Toni