PDA

View Full Version : Really shocked and not sure what to do!!!



~*Sarah*~
15-01-2009, 09:47 AM
One of my mindees yesterday was playing with my 19 mth old daughter. They got one of the play knifes from the kitchen and put it to my daughters throat and pretend to slit it:eek:

I was sooooo shocked I did not expect it from a 6 year old or any child to be honest. I gave them time out and told them it was wrong, I spoke to them again about it today and they didnt really say alot. I have also told the childs parent and they are going to have a word with them and apologised.

Do I have to record this anywhere??? Does anyone know the best way to deal with this behaviour??? The child has mentioned odd things before like said to one of my other mindees and wishing they were dead:eek: . I am a bit worried and dont really know what to do

emmadines
15-01-2009, 09:51 AM
really dont know, I have 3 boys (not including my one) and they all play fight shooting etc I really dont like it and have told them not to do this but I feel like I am loosing the battle, I have spoken to the parents, they have spoken to their kids but it never seems to work. Im sure it comes from school and their peers

will be following thing post closely!!

hbomb1
15-01-2009, 10:12 AM
My DS is 6 and this week told me he has been playing James Bond at playtimes at school, with his friends. I asked him if he knew what James Bond was (he has never watched any of them) and he said such and such a body told me and we play it. I shot D and he died but then he came back to life again.

I think at this age they learn so much from other children in the playground however they don't really understand what it is they are doing i.e. shooting with pretend guns. Boys will be boys and although I don't like some of the things they do, most of it is just part of growing up and they don't mean any harm.

Perhaps keep an eye on it and if it does continue or becomes a problem, then address it again.

melanieabigail2004
15-01-2009, 10:22 AM
My mindee and dd were playing dress up today as doc and nurse. He told me there was somebody dead in the road and they were dealing with it. A little surprised but I just said oh what a shame, poor person and let them get on with it. He is 3.5 and dd is 4. Where he picked it up from I don't know but I suppose I could put it under KUW if I did an observation!!!!!

I wouldn't worry too much - if it happens again just address it then - I think its something that the parents should really deal with though.

Mel

Andrea08
15-01-2009, 10:24 AM
I think the parents are letting child watch too much tv?
hospital programs are on during the day so did she pick something up from that?
i would try and not make too much of a fuss about it like bad language if we fuss they do more?

if she did something like this again ask her oh what you doing are you a Dr. because Dr. have to be nice to people,,,and point her in a different direction.

good luck

childmind04
15-01-2009, 10:25 AM
I think you have done as much as you can, like others have said boy will be boys and wether they have toy guns or use lego they usually find a way of 'killing' each other :rolleyes: school sometimes has a lot to answer for :)

Helpinghands
15-01-2009, 10:34 AM
I agree children are influenced by a lot in the playground and from what they watch on the tv...well lets hope thats where they saw it!, but I would make a written note of it still just encase.

Pipsqueak
15-01-2009, 11:47 AM
There has been much discussion over the years about boys and certain types of "role and pretend" play. TBH, boys will be boys - if you don't let them have toy guns they will use their fingers to "make" a gun, they will use alternative things as swords (loo roll tubes etc). Of course not all boys will do this type of play and yes, some girls will do this too.

I think all you can do in this instance is explain in small and gentle language (in accordance to his age and understanding) that slitting someones throat is not nice and could hurt them. Although I don't ban the play fighting games I do explain to all the children that real guns and swords would hurt people and we wouldn't like to hurt someone.

They do pick things up from siblings, peers and what they hear or watch on tv, even just listening to the news - its the world we live in sadly.

mabel
15-01-2009, 06:19 PM
at least you were there in the room and you heard it

you have addressed it well and can observe future games

you did well ! well done

a parent could have missed this type of play if the children are
left to their own resources.

chatting about it is the way they learn right form wrong.

tinyhands
15-01-2009, 09:51 PM
hi sarah, that sounds like learned behaviour - telly/older siblings.Jus need to reducate him and try and find the source of his behaviour. u might have to work on this for some weeks.:idea: tinyhands(sheron).

miffy
16-01-2009, 08:24 AM
There has been much discussion over the years about boys and certain types of "role and pretend" play. TBH, boys will be boys - if you don't let them have toy guns they will use their fingers to "make" a gun, they will use alternative things as swords (loo roll tubes etc). Of course not all boys will do this type of play and yes, some girls will do this too.

I think all you can do in this instance is explain in small and gentle language (in accordance to his age and understanding) that slitting someones throat is not nice and could hurt them. Although I don't ban the play fighting games I do explain to all the children that real guns and swords would hurt people and we wouldn't like to hurt someone.

They do pick things up from siblings, peers and what they hear or watch on tv, even just listening to the news - its the world we live in sadly.

I agree with Pip.

I would still record the incident and the discussion with his parents just in case there are any other incidents.

Miffy xx

Twinkles
16-01-2009, 09:45 AM
When I worked in a nursery , many moons ago, I saw a little girl pick up a play knife and fork and pretend to cut up and eat her dolly :eek:

Never have found out if she grew up to be a cannibal :laughing:

CCJD
16-01-2009, 10:09 AM
LOL that's given me the first chuckle of the morning!!!

I can always remember when my nephew (the first boy of the family) went to pre-school and despite my sister's best PC attempts of "we dont do guns" he was obsessed with them. One day the pre-school did a written observation of him where his key worker followed him round the room and wrote down what he had done. One section said that my nephew had gone over to the lego area and built a tower - and she drew this tower. Both my sister and I took one look, turned the picture upside down and said "it's a gun".

After getting fed up of the growing collection of gun shaped sticks in her porch, my sister gave in and finally allowed him to collect a toy gun arsenal just like many other boys.

I think our children see some very vivid images onTV etc ( my neice was performing c sections on my daughter from a very early age whenever mums and babies were being played) and children act out what they see. So long as you are alongside to guide them and discuss what they are doing and why I am sure they will be fine.

Like others said, record down what was seen and done and get ready for the WWE World Wrestling phase that is coming next.

Schnakes
16-01-2009, 08:19 PM
I dont agree that "time out" was appropriate here actually. Many boys like playing weapons and fighting games - there is a lot of reasearch out there on this subject and I think you will find that its not as terrible as you might think. After all - both two year old girls I look after love to play with the dollies. Nobody bats an eyelid - doesnt mean they want to go out and get pregnant does it?

Just because something isnt particularly to our taste does not mean its bad - its just a way of playing, and is as equally valid as little girls playing mummy, IMO.

There is LOADS of research into Superhero play...perhaps you could take this as a topic/theme, and encourage the little boy to use his energies in a more positive way. (Batman, for example, uses his powers for good). You could really expand on this idea in a really exciting way for the little boy - particularly at his age...imagine all the aspects of learning and development you could tie into this!

I have to admit - throat cutting is probably not something I would be comfortable with, and I would like to know where he got the idea from but I would like to repeat that I 100% disagree that a telling off and time out were appropriate here.

Sx

Lincsminder
16-01-2009, 08:44 PM
just to add something here, I would be shocked and horrified to see a child pretend to cut another's throat but I can see how they might of picked it up. I was watching Jonathan creek one night and ds had woken up and walked in just as that was happening. I'm a bit of a wimp and can't stand that kind of thing and if I knew it was coming I probably wouldn't of watched it in the first place. I'm not sure how much he saw but he did get upset and I had to tell him a fib that it was a magician practicing an act and it was a dummy, he excepted this and forgot about it. However there are plenty of children who are allowed TV's in their bedroom with no supervision and could also of seen this and without an adult to talk them through it or lie like I did, it could stick in their mind for quite a while.

Mollymop
16-01-2009, 09:23 PM
I agree with Pipsqueak hun, my 10 year old is into guns and I let him play with them and be,.. just a "boy", but I think that pretending to slit another ones throat is a but too much and not really the "norm"
I would definately record it.
You have done the right thing in voicing your concerns to the parents.

kindredspirits
16-01-2009, 09:32 PM
i think theres a huge difference between gun play, swords etc and actually prentending to slit someones throat. it worries me more where a 6 year old would have got this from. i think you have done all you can and it was probably much about nothing - but i've got to speak honestly here and say i do keep a close eye on mindees of this age - i know its cruel but i don't trust them. I was in the kitchen a while back and I could hear my 2 after schoolers whispering - they were trying to either shut my little boy (18 months at the time) in or out of the lounge and one of them was shutting the door forcefully on his body while the other was hissing at him to stop!! :eek:
after the jamie bulger incident i take the view that 1 kid in a million is capable of anything and they really do need watching like hawks!

(did you hear about that little boy in Oz who fed loads of really rare animals to a croc at the zoo?? kids are capable of anything!!!)

Chatterbox Childcare
16-01-2009, 10:15 PM
I would put it straight in my incident book. It might be nothing but you never know.

Ripeberry
16-01-2009, 10:22 PM
Video games are the worst culprits especially if they have older brothers. The games are bought by the parents and they have no regard for the rating. I know one little 6yr old who plays "Resident Evil" with his 10yr old brother, but he's never done anything like slitting throats.
Violent video games are the worst thing ever! Can you tell i don't have any games consoles?