"Forgot" to pay?!?

[Melanie]

:censored: :angry:

Well I'm hoping that posting here will be as lucky as it was for me last time!

I started minding for the family that I had a call from when I was posting my first message. That was nearly three weeks ago and I still haven't been paid! I feel like a blooming idiot. I let payment ride for the first day because I figured it was an oversight and the mother promised to bring cash the next day. My contract states cash in advanced and they only signed 3 days previous.

I called Friday to see if there was a cash problem or any issues and she said she'd just forgotten to bring the money! They hadn't forgotten to drop their kids off half an hour early or quarter of an hour late though. :(

During the phone call she said she'd come this weekend but guess what ... no money. I'm tempted to refuse to take the kids without full payment but that seems mean to them. :confused:

I'm a teaching assistant and had rearranged my hours to accomodate her needs but now I think I've made a huge mistake. I've been offered more hours at school so was thinking about ending our contract and staying registered for after school and holidays.

I really enjoy both jobs and ending this contract feels like accepting defeat but in the same breath I can't see it getting any better without confrontation.:ohdear:

[Rubybubbles]

If it's in your contract then refuse, thats what I have in mine, and :censored: right I would stick to it in this instance

Hope you get it sorted

[Banana]

Yeah, parents use the 'i forgot to pay' excuse quite a bit!

Do not mind for her until you have been paid. Explain you are sorry buit care has been removed until she has paid the money owed and refer her to your policy which she agreed to. Dont let it go on any longer, she is taking advantage.

Sorry this has happened to you but you need to be firm now to save being sorry later

x

[miffy]

I agree with the others

This parent is taking the mickey

Be firm or you may not get your money

Good luck

Miffy xx

[Melanie]

:blush: Specified payment up front unless by prior arrangement but didn't necessarily say that the consequence of not paying would be that I wouldn't have their kids.

You live and learn though. I had a prospective after school and holiday person come visit the other night. I made it clear then that I don't care if it's cash or cheque but the money comes through the door first! Obviously I phrased it in a professional yet friendly manner but you gt the idea! :p

Thanks for your outrage - wasn't sure if I was over reacting by starting to get so... er.... annoyed and irritated. :angry:

[Trouble]

i agree dont mind until she has paid explain you have changed hours to fit her in and have her contract at hand to show her but get the money somehow first or say you are going to charge her a late late late payment fee but enough is enough now your not a charity and shes always on time what a bag!!!!!!!!!!!:angry: :angry: :angry:

[Pipsqueak]

That is so annoying - for goodness sake we work because we need the money - just like every other person!!!

If they have signed a contract agreeing to your t/c's and you have stipulated advance payment then refuse care till you get whats owed.

xx

[Melanie]

That's what I thought. They'd soon have something to say if they weren't paid and their boss says they forgot!

How can you leave your kids somewhere for 10 hours a day and not think about paying the person caring for them?

You think I could go get myself some new Jimmy Choo's and forget to go to the till? I'm sure security will be as much as a pushover as I've been! :rolleyes:

[ajs]

that's a great example you could try that on her.
i think i would gently remind her that she stills owes you money and that you have bills to pay too.

what a shame this has happened to you so early on in your new career though

[angeldelight]

Only just catching up

I agree with everyone else

This parent has a damn cheek - I would call her or when she drops the children tell her shes got 24 hours to come up with the money or it is no fees no childcare until payment

Hope you get this sorted let us know what happens

Angel xx

[LittleMissSparkles]

I'd do her a letter explaining in full the amount owed up to date and refusing childcare until it is paid in cash and with late payments fees added on xxx

Sorry you havent had a very good parent to start off with xxx

[sarah707]

Any news this morning? :D

[charleyfarley]

Parents like this astound me

Hope you've sorted it out now

Carol xxx

[berkschick]

Did the parent pay you this morning?

It never fails to amaze me that we are looking after their precious ones and doing a very good job of it too yet they "forget" to pay us!

[Blaze]

Cheeky moo...personally i'd refuse care...3 weeks is a long time! let us know what happened!
Tasha:)

[Banana]

Sounds like you took control of the meeting for the after schooler - saves any hassles doen the line!

xx

[Melanie]

:update:

Well she never came with the money today so I got in touch with her. I explained what she owed me, when for and basically that I expected it in full before the next drop off on Wednesday morning as per the contract.

We'll see if she comes through with it. I have a feeling she won't turn up.

Either way I've decided to give her her notice on Wednesday night. It's just not worth the hassle. I don't want to worry every week about getting paid or not. There are plenty of other people who are willing to respect the work we do when we care for their children.

I'll chalk this one down to experience and have a better idea about what to do and say next time. I'll also know about not being so shy about insisting on sticking to the contract in terms of pay and late payments etc!

[miffy]

Good for you Melanie

Hope you get some better work soon

Miffy xx

[sutherland]

:eek: some people have no thought for others do they, i'm sorry that you still have not received what you are owed. What did the mum have to say for herself when you called?

[manjay]

Good for you Melanie. It's such a shame that we have to learn the hard way sometimes BUT at least you sound positive and like you say it will give you the confidence to be stricter next time

amanda xx

[Melanie]

:eek: some people have no thought for others do they, i'm sorry that you still have not received what you are owed. What did the mum have to say for herself when you called?


The cheeky mare was completely unrepentant. She actually seemed a bit irritated that I'd had the audacity to ask her for it. I nearly apologised! That's when I decided for sure that I was better off cutting my losses. I can't see it getting any better and I'd rather do it now than after having the little ones for a while and getting attatched.

[Pipsqueak]

It can't have been easy to make that decision but well done you for being "business minded".

You have nothing to apologise for and well done for making the phone call. Let us know if she does turn up Wednesday. If she doesn't make sure you pursue the monies owed.

[Mickey Mouse Clubhouse]

Good for you it will be interesting to see if she turns up on Wednesday or not like you say may be she will not. If she is claiming tax credits make sure you inform them so that she doesn't carry on claiming under your name.

Let is know how it goes.

Lorraine xx

[berkschick]

Good luck for tomorrow. Its so unfair that she hasnt paid you.

[emler]

I really hope she does turn up tomorrow and you get ther money she owes you

Emler x

[Schnakes]

Hi Melanie,

Sorry to read that you are having problems at the moment. I just wanted to say "bravo" for being so strong minded about the situation. :clapping:

Sx

[Cheeky Chops]

I had a similar experience, I started minding for my neice (who is only a yung un & a single mum) back in october, I had her little boy for 3 mnths, never saw a penny, she kept saying she was trying to get help sorted out with the payments, she said she was waiting for the government to send her letters etc etc.

She had a part time job and was always ringing in sick, when she rang in sick she wouldn't bring her little boy and expect not to be charged for that day (even tho it was in the contract that she would pay) she refused to sign a contract for 2 weeks until I told her that if she didn't turn up with a signed contract there would be no childcare, she turned up with a signed contract the very next day!

then one morning she didnt turn up, when I contacted her she said that because she couldnt get in contact with me she wasnt bringing the Little one. !! I said I had received no contact from her so didnt know what she meant, she replied with well thanks a lot, now I might lose my job!!

she lost her job and I dont have her LO anymore, but I havnt been paid and she owes me 3mnths, but wont pay. her dad is my brother in law and he has said he isnt helping her out anymore with money etc, so I guess she isnt going to ever pay me!!


I have started minding again and have been for 3 weeks and havnt been payed yet, altho there has been mentioning of payment next week, so lets pray and hope!! hehe ah the joys x x :jump for joy:

[Melanie]

Blimey what a nightmare! I hope you get all that sorted and get your money. Any chance of getting advice from NCMA or do you not want to rock the boat with her being family?

:update:

Got paid!! Don't think Dad realised that I hadn't been. He's been away for a few days and came straight from the train station to see the kids. I gave him an invoice for outstanding payments. Also gave him my notice to end the contract. He seemed quite upset by it.

Said that I was taking more hours at school. It's true but I would probably have worked around the family if they hadn't been so consistently late and bad at paying.

Going to keep childminding but only after school and holidays. As luck would have it I have one starting the week after the notice runs out. The girl seems really nice and is quite shy. She came for the initial meeting and disappeared with my kids to the play room. They seemed to get on really well so fingers crossed eh?!

:goodjob: Thanks to all of you for letting me have my moan and giving me fab support and great advice.

Right... got to write a couple of essays and re-write my fees and charges policy! :idea:

[LittleMissSparkles]

I had a similar experience, I started minding for my neice (who is only a yung un & a single mum) back in october, I had her little boy for 3 mnths, never saw a penny, she kept saying she was trying to get help sorted out with the payments, she said she was waiting for the government to send her letters etc etc.

She had a part time job and was always ringing in sick, when she rang in sick she wouldn't bring her little boy and expect not to be charged for that day (even tho it was in the contract that she would pay) she refused to sign a contract for 2 weeks until I told her that if she didn't turn up with a signed contract there would be no childcare, she turned up with a signed contract the very next day!

then one morning she didnt turn up, when I contacted her she said that because she couldnt get in contact with me she wasnt bringing the Little one. !! I said I had received no contact from her so didnt know what she meant, she replied with well thanks a lot, now I might lose my job!!

she lost her job and I dont have her LO anymore, but I havnt been paid and she owes me 3mnths, but wont pay. her dad is my brother in law and he has said he isnt helping her out anymore with money etc, so I guess she isnt going to ever pay me!!


I have started minding again and have been for 3 weeks and havnt been payed yet, altho there has been mentioning of payment next week, so lets pray and hope!! hehe ah the joys x x :jump for joy:

can you seek legal advice with MM or NCMA ? 3 months is a lot of money to be owed, you need to put your foot down no payment on time no cildcare, the same with this new one you have you said theyd mentioned paying next week... YOU ARE THE BOSS tell them when you want paying give them an invoice with a due date on xxx

[Cheeky Chops]

I wasnt with the NCMA when I started minding, I started in october and became ncma memeber in Jan this year. I want the money she owes me of course, but the family might put up a fuss as she is a single mum with no job now and they might think Im "mean" for asking for my money! But if she gets another job then I would def push for the money.

on boxing day last year she asked me repeatedly to change her little boys nappy, I refused saying in a jokey way that it was her son and I wasnt workin so why should I change him. she left him in a dirty nappy for 2 hrs before it began to seep all over and her auntie (my sis in law) said she needed to change him cos he was leaking. only then did she get up. so thats the kind of person I am up against, she didnt really want him in the first place which is sad but thats how it is I guess x x

[avril]

Some people are unbeliveable bare faced cheek, I wouldn't have dared do that to anybody, I believe treat people how you would like to be treated.:angry:

Hopefully she turns up with the money for you, keep us posted.

Avril:laughing:

[Pipsqueak]

I wasnt with the NCMA when I started minding, I started in october and became ncma memeber in Jan this year. I want the money she owes me of course, but the family might put up a fuss as she is a single mum with no job now and they might think Im "mean" for asking for my money! But if she gets another job then I would def push for the money.

on boxing day last year she asked me repeatedly to change her little boys nappy, I refused saying in a jokey way that it was her son and I wasnt workin so why should I change him. she left him in a dirty nappy for 2 hrs before it began to seep all over and her auntie (my sis in law) said she needed to change him cos he was leaking. only then did she get up. so thats the kind of person I am up against, she didnt really want him in the first place which is sad but thats how it is I guess x x

OMG - what a parent to knowingly and deliberately leave your child in a dirty nappy - that is bordering on neglect at worst and lazy parenting at best.

As for pursuing the money that you are owed, I would go for it. You can still get advice from NCMA regardless of when you joined.
I would bill her (final notice) asking either fully payment by xx date or offer a range of payment solutions (ie/ £xx per week, or £xx per month) and please could she contact you before xx date to arrange a schedule with you.
Make it clear that if no payment or contact is forthcoming by xx date you shall be adding late fees per day and you will be seeking further legal advice and possible action about the recovery of the debt owed for childminding services. Point out that She will be liable for any costs incurred by further action (solicitors letters, court costs etc) that you are forced to take by her refusal to pay for services as per your legally binding contracts that she signed.
Its sounds like you have been more than reasonable and helpful and by offering payment solutions you are extending your support and help further.

[Cheeky Chops]

I would love to, but on Jan the 7th this year she just took her LO out and I havnt heard from her since apart from some very nasty texts blaming me for her losing her job. To be honest with her not having a job, she has no money she can pay me with anyway!! She owes me for Oct, Nov and Dec, I said she had 30 days which as of yesterday has come to a close, I didnt put in the contract that I would be charging her for late fees ( i know i know a bit silly of me, but this contract was just a temp one til i joined the ncma and got theirs!)
so if I contacted her now and billed her for oct, nov and dec she wouldnt pay anything i dont think.

I would also be unsure of how to word it because I am aware she is family and in the past she has told her dad (my brother in law, who is my husbands boss) that I have charged her for all sorts and refused to have LO (which isnt true at all!!) so I would need to word it in a way that reminds her I gave her a service that she never paid for. and as for legal costs etc, wouldnt she get legal aid with her being a single mum on benefits with no job??!!

as far as I am concerned, I really want the money she owes me as I have been down with my income since october, I left work for her and she never paid, does it seem a bit silly only now going after it when the last time I had her little boy was before christmas??!

but as far as my OH is concerned he thinks it is just too much hassle and as his neice isnt a very nice person he doenst think she will pay anything and he just thinks the whole thing will get nastier and messier, so he wants me to "cut my losses" as he calls it.

xx

[Pipsqueak]

Your hubby could be right about cutting your losses but why on earth should you loose 3 months money - even if they are family.

Do you think your husband may suffer through his job with her dad? Is that a possible factor. Are the rest of the family aware of the situation and are they aware of how this woman is? If they are then you may not have too much to worry about.

[LittleMissSparkles]

this makes me so mad, I cant believe she still hasnt paid you ! and what sort of mother leaves their child sat in their own dirty nappy for over 2 hours ..... the poor little mite, if she didnt want him she should have used protection to start with, my B and SIL are unable to conceive and were devistated there are people out there who would love a child then you get people like her that dont give a shi** about their own children god it makes me mad.

Unless you feel there would be repercussions for you and your husband within the family I'd take her to court and maybe think about informing SS of your concerns for neglect if this wasnt a one off xxxx

[Cheeky Chops]

to be honest I was keeping a mental note of all the "neglect" that I witnessed while I was looking after him, but I didnt really think she was neglecting him and didnt have enough proof to do anything about it.

I have heard from other friends and family members that when at her dad's house or her mums she always asks both sides to change his nappy as she cant be bothered, she has asked my 9 yr old niece to do it before! he is always dressed nicely and is clean etc.

the only thing I would say is sometimes when he used to come to me she said "oh he is really tired today cos I had my mates round at 3.00am and he was awake, I gave him a bit of pizza/kebab so he might not be hungry either (he was 16mnths at the time!:eek: )

He was always really good and a real sweetie to look after, he is 2 now and hasnt started speaking yet, but I am under the impression that when she isnt working she gets him up and lets him play and goes back to sleep, or goes back to her bedroom all day. At christmas time he was out of his routine with it being xmas then boxing day, on boxing day he was really tires because he was up all xmas day till 11 then up from 6am boxing day and had had no afternoon sleep, when she wanted to change his nappy, he was having non of it (due to exhaustion) and screamed the place down. she was changing him in the kitchen and shouting at him "do you want me to take you home, stop it etc" he is 2 and understands and speaks about 3 or 4 words, so how was he supposed to understand??!!

as she was doing this my OH family were all in the living room listening to her rant and all 10 of us looked uncomfortable and didnt really know where to look! Its the LO I feel sorry for, I bought the LO 3 outfits for xmas and my niece didnt even say thankyou to me or OH. She got a LeapPad toy for him from someone and I was talking to her on boxing day telling her that they were really good for child learning etc and asked her who bought her it, she replied with dont know dont care!

I wouldnt really say she neglected her LO, I would say she wasnt bothered by him and he is more of a hinderance to her, but you cant report her for that can you?! I would also go as far to say that she doesnt particularly "love" him either, which you cant report her for either! On boxing day she didnt once interact with her LO, not for cuddles or kisses or anything, he got his own food from the buffet table too and relied on his aunties, uncles and grandma, grandad to feed him bits n bobs. In the whole time I have had him and witnessed the 2 of them together I wouldnt say they had any sort of bond, when he falls over she just laughs at him and say's its the funniest thing cos he is so dumb, it just makes my day.

:eek:

[LittleMissSparkles]

that is so sad and makes me want to cry the poor child having a mother so unloving and caring, that is heartbreaking to read about x

[Pipsqueak]

That whole post makes me feel so sad for the baby.

OK, it might not be "neglect" in the worst possible sense but it sounds like this mum may need extra help. To deliberately keep your child up whilst you party is awful.

No you cannot "report" her for not appearing to bond with her child but you can voice your concerns. I would actually go as far to say it is your professional duty - the welfare and well being of the child. Who knows what sort of impact this is going to have on the little one in years to come. What about if she starts to resent him more?
Can you talk to your development officer or a local health visitor and get their advice/guidance. Is there someone in the family who is close to her that may be able to talk to her. You could explain that you realise (due to your professional training) that she may need extra help in one form or another.
I know its hard, especially when its family involved but the safety and welfare of the little boys needs to come above anything else.

[Cheeky Chops]

I agree with you that her LO health and safety comes before anything, I have been thinking about talking to someone, I dont know about my health visitor as I am not aware of who they are:blush: also my DO is a very busy lady and I can hardly get in contact with her!! I could mail her though i guess! There is no one in the family close to her as my niece takes everyone for granted and is generally rude to all of us apart from when she wants something! Could I speak to the NSPCC with my "concerns" although i am not sure if any details I gave would give me away as the informant. Also I am more than sure that my OH family would know it was me, and if they asked my OH i am sure he would cave and tell them it was me!!

I really feel for the LO, but his mum repeatedly blames me for the reason he is under developed. he was only with me 2 days a week and we always did things to stimulate his learning. so there isnt really anymore I could do. apart from perhaps talk to someone about my concerns i guess?!

[Pipsqueak]

We have pm'd cheeky!

Sounds like mum is trying to blame her whole situation on anyone but herself and take responsibility.

[angeldelight]

cant imagine how you must be feeling if this mother is blaming you what a cheek

hope you get the situation sorted out

angel xx

[LittleMissSparkles]

I really feel for the LO, but his mum repeatedly blames me for the reason he is under developed. he was only with me 2 days a week and we always did things to stimulate his learning. so there isnt really anymore I could do. apart from perhaps talk to someone about my concerns i guess?!

I'm sorry but it is not your fault and if i was you and shed said that to me i would have hit the roof big time, how dare she blame you, if she was a better more loving considerate attentive mother maybe he wouldnt be so under developed oh and gave him good wholesome food not pizza's and kebab's


xxx

[Melanie]

OMG! It infuriates me that people can treat their children in this way. It's disgusting. :angry:

I hope you manage to sort something out. Do you have a network co-ordinator who can advise you?

Hope you get the money sorted but by the sounds of it you're in a bit of a tricky situation.

Chin up. Things tend to turn out well in the end. Just remember you've done the best you can and no-one can ask any more of you.

[Tups]

Hi don't let it go on anymore I've had this before mine went on for week,s big mistake. In the end mother told me she had spent it ha. She got most of it payed for of tax credit I took her to court what a waste of time she didn't even bother to show up and that cost me another £60 in total she owed me £600 .I informed tax credit they didn't even call me back tups x

[Tups]

dont no how my post got here ???

[Tups]

:censored: :angry:

Well I'm hoping that posting here will be as lucky as it was for me last time!

I started minding for the family that I had a call from when I was posting my first message. That was nearly three weeks ago and I still haven't been paid! I feel like a blooming idiot. I let payment ride for the first day because I figured it was an oversight and the mother promised to bring cash the next day. My contract states cash in advanced and they only signed 3 days previous.

I called Friday to see if there was a cash problem or any issues and she said she'd just forgotten to bring the money! They hadn't forgotten to drop their kids off half an hour early or quarter of an hour late though. :(

During the phone call she said she'd come this weekend but guess what ... no money. I'm tempted to refuse to take the kids without full payment but that seems mean to them. :confused:

I'm a teaching assistant and had rearranged my hours to accomodate her needs but now I think I've made a huge mistake. I've been offered more hours at school so was thinking about ending our contract and staying registered for after school and holidays.

I really enjoy both jobs and ending this contract feels like accepting defeat but in the same breath I can't see it getting any better without confrontation.:ohdear: I sent you a post on this but its gone somewhere else ??? tups x

[purple rain]

well i'm having trouble with one at the mo.

the mum doesnt speak english. she's been sent on a course via the job centre to learn english so she can get a job....
i have delt with job centre before regarding payments so i didnt batter an eye

started minding - in a rush, as the course had started and mum had missed the 1st week. she filled in the forms (eldest son did them for her) but has never been to my house!! dispite being invited every wk!

so the poor kid cries a lot he's 14 months old and doesnt understand a word of english - i sound as cockney as you like so i must terrify the poor boy :(

and guess what its wk 4 and no payment!! in fairness i know its not her fault. you can tell by her face she feels bad. she's been put in a position where she has had to trust someone she doesnt know, her child doesnt know just to do this course. (she has no family here) i have been in contact to the course providers and they have been helpful and i now have the name of the person dealing with this case at the job centre........ but i have been ringing and keep getting told that the person will ring me back. and of course they dont!!!
mum has still got lessons this wk but has left the child with teenage son. so i havent even got him this week. im at the end of my tether with it all though.

i think if i dont get the money owed and some sort of payment system set up before monday i will withdraw care i dont know what else to do
:angry:

[ORKSIE]

Sorry only just seen this. But good for you.:thumbsup:

[Mollymop]

Goodness, look how old this post is!

[purple rain]

lol only just spotted that..... i wonder if melanie sorted it all out lmao :laughing: