Do I mention

[Pipsqueak]

Re little 4yr old mindee. I have got an appointment (with parental permission) with his teacher on Wednesday.

What I am wondering

a) do I mention that I think he could be on the autistic spectrum

this is the one bugging me.....
b) the student teacher (not exactly sure what she is in relation to the mindees class);
you may remember that I mentioned a few weeks back that I was comforting the mindee on the way home when this person/student asked me how he was for me at home, when I said ok she rolled her eyes and said good luck

and yesterday evening I had to go into school whilst my middle son went of in search of his belongings and me and mindees waited in the warm outside the lunch hall.

Mindee started telling me that is where he goes for lunch and he has a packed lunch - throughout stammering and talking way to fast. (this was a bit of a revelation as this is the first time he has talked to me about school). Anyway mid converstaion with mindee, this person (don't even know her name) stood next to us and started talking to mindee, which made him stammer even more. I gently asked her to let him finish what he was saying but he clammed up. As I stood back up (I was at his level) she rolled her eyes (again) and said to me "he does that all the time, I can't understand him either so I don't bother listening to him anymore" I was gobsmacked - I told her I understood him perfectly well and that I thought it was unfair to talk like that in front of the children. She just smiled and walked of.

Now do I mention this attitude to the teacher. I am appalled that if this is the attitiude this child is getting no wonder he is how he is. I so worried that he is going to slip through the net and not get the help he so obviously needs. I hope that I am wrong about the autistic bit as well.

I think everyone has him pegged as a badly behaved boy or troublesome child who is not very bright. Granted there are some issues there - he has no listening or concentration skills (and I mean none), he has no sense of self (cannot recognise a picture of himself or even his sister), no idea of manners, respect (for others or possessions), little understanding of empathy or consquences of actions - like he hit J over the head with the toy car - he did not understand that he had made J cry by hurting him , turn taking, sharing.
I will not give up on this child - my heart aches for him because I think mum even has him tagged as the trouble maker. I feel for mum she has had a really rough ride and I think she is doing the best she possibly can but is too tired by the end of the day. (His nearly 2yr old sister is a little minx too with all the same above traits but with a really nasty little temper, and again we are working on this and she is slowly learning that I do not tolerate this behaviour).

Sorry I have gone of on one!:rolleyes:

Anyway - do I mention to the teacher the students attitude?

[madasahatter]

yes, definitely mention the students attitude. She should be ashamed of herself!

[FizzysFriends]

Yes you need to for the sake of this little one and all the others that she is doing this too. Its wrong and really needs to be stopped.

[jaz]

I agree that you do need to say something.

Years ago I would go into help my brother in school as he had dyslexia. One day a teaching assistant said to me (not realising I was his sister), that 'that lot were beyond help and wouldnt amount to anything so why bother' .

I reported it and she never spoke to me again - shame!!;)

J
x

[sarah707]

Absolutely!

She needs re-training before they let her loose on a class on her own.

In fact I would be tempted to speak to her college.

Good luck at the appointment xx

[Hebs]

i'd have complained to the head teacher then the LEA!

she should be ashamed of herself :angry:

[Mollymop]

Yes definately speak about this TA's attitude. How dare she, I can't understand her attitude to this child
It does seem as if he has autistic symptoms from what I have just read x

[rickysmiths]

I dont quite understand why you have got an appointment to see a mindees teacher?

I'm afraid if it is to dicuss the problem mentioned above I would not be going any where near the school. Yes it is my job to inform the parent of what is happening but it is most DEFINATELY the parents job to go and speak to the teacher about it not yours.

Or am I being thick and misunderstanding the situation.?

[Pipsqueak]

I am going to see the teacher so I can find out how I can support R's learning (under the terms of EYFS) - working in partnership with other settings in the childs' life etc. I do have parental permission to this.
Which problem are you referring to - the suspected autism or the TA's attitude? The school have a brilliant SENCO and the actual teacher (mindees) is a wonderfully approachable woman (was my son's teacher 8 years ago).

I understand that its the parents job to speak to the school but as I have said, the mum has had a really rough ride for the last couple of years and I think she is doing all she can just to survive - I honestly think she misses some of the stuff in front of her - especially the delight of her children - of which she seems to derive none, which I think is so sad.

I have an inkling that school may have some concerns about this child as well and I am desperate for this child not to slip through the net. Once I have more information as to how he is at school and I can pass on my obs to school I will feel more comfortable broaching the subject with the parent as well

[ajs]

good for you pip the child probably needs your in put into his life

and most defiantly report her and as sarah says before she gets a class of her own ignorant cow

[rickysmiths]

That sounds fine well done you.

[flora]

Absolutely!

She needs re-training before they let her loose on a class on her own.

In fact I would be tempted to speak to her college.

Good luck at the appointment xx

My thoughts exactly Pip!! How dare she :angry:

Do as you would for one of your own. If you have permisssion to see the teacher voice all your concerns.

Thats what I thought was the point of all this partnership stuff so no one is relying on the opinion of just one individual.

Good for you going in to bat for this little chap. Let us know how you get on :thumbsup:

[beerheaven]

In agreement with others. You should tell the teacher about this person's attitude.
Your mindee is so lucky to have you on his side. You are being a true professional unlike this student.
Do let us know how you get on.

[breezy]

I agree with the others on this one go in and get it all sorted.

By the way Pip you're doing a fantastic job and this family are so lucky having you supporting them, sometimes being the parent of a special needs child can be very isolating.

[Polly2]

I think its great that you are seeing the school and I bet the parents are grateful to have someone else on their side fighting lo's corner.

I would definatly mention the students attitude because that is not going to help him one little bit.

Hope it all goes well x

[crazybones]

Good for you Pip. I definitely think you should mention both things so the little fella doesnt fall through the net along the way. :thumbsup:

What an evil cow - think she is in the wrong job. :angry:

[Pipsqueak]

Thank you everyone :thumbsup: Will let you know how it goes

[miffy]

By the way Pip you're doing a fantastic job and this family are so lucky having you supporting them, sometimes being the parent of a special needs child can be very isolating.

I agree 300% with Breezy!!!!

And I agree you should mention your concerns about your mindee and report his TA for her behaviour and attitude. Have you discussed these issues with mum? - that's the only thing I would do before talking to the school

Miffy xx

[Pipsqueak]

I agree 300% with Breezy!!!!

And I agree you should mention your concerns about your mindee and report his TA for her behaviour and attitude. Have you discussed these issues with mum? - that's the only thing I would do before talking to the school

Miffy xx

I have broached bits with mum - but not come out and said that I suspect autism. I am not going to use those words with anyone (apart from on here) I have just mentioned that he seems to be fixated on things and appears not to like or understand change, in amongst other behaviour issues (which we have talked about). Mum just agrees with me and says that he can be a naughty little boy. I have said that I think it could be due to other factors such as all the upheavel in his young life and that perhaps he needs more one on one attention - mum says that he takes no notice of her and if I want to try then its up to me. I genuinely think this mum just doesn't "get" it and that she thinks her lad is just plain naughty, not least she doesn't know how to handle it. I have found that being positive about him when talking to her she seems to have less of a downer on him. I think she needs building up too

I have said to Mum that we will sit down for a proper chat along with a contract review in a week or so's time

[Mollymop]

He is lucky to have you, you know! Bless him, I hope it gets sorted out soon. x I know all too well what schools are like when it comes to children who need extra help, just look at me and my Tim - they are looking into aspergers and ADD with him at the moment, but the school doesn't have much patience for him I am afraid:mad:

[Pipsqueak]

Just been reading up on autism, after writing up some notes and there are so many things that ring bells.
After having to fight my sons corner I feel a lot more confident about approaching the school but like I say the teacher is a terrific teacher and the SENCO (should she become involved which I believe she will) is fab to.
For all the "negative" bits about this child that I writing (the behaviours he is displaying) I am trying to write a positive - so the school (and mum) can see that this child has potential.
Bless him, he has a wicked sense of humour that I can see emerging (albiet off-beat!), he is a little tryer (he knocked the train track over and tried so hard to repair it), he loves helping me in the kitchen and serving up dinner - think he sees it as his special bit.

[LittleAcorns]

seems to me that she (teacher trainer) has no idea of how to handle the situation, well done to you for being there for this child and keep us posted ;)

[Schnakes]

I would complain to the mum, the teacher AND the head teacher! How awful- that brought a little lump to my throat, the poor little love.

Yes - good on you, you are definately doing the right thing.

Sx

[Ripeberry]

Well, done for fighting his corner. His mum sounds a bit depressed about it all.
Bet she was glad when she found you!:)

[aly]

definitely mention it, my god they are in the class with children what does she expect!! i cant believe she was like that.