View Full Version : Do ou kiss your mindees?

06-01-2009, 12:51 PM
Or is that a big 'No No'?

06-01-2009, 12:59 PM
I do and cuddle and snuggle and tickle and blow raspberries on bare tummies before I fasten a vest after a nappy change.

Parents choose a childminder over a nursery because they want their child to be cared for in a family enviornment.

06-01-2009, 01:01 PM
i kiss my los all the time they love it and so do their parents ! how can a baby be with someone all day and not be kissed ? if anyoe sees anything bad in that they need their head examined sorry to upset anyone. one of mine has just lost her mum and while i in no way can replace her its been a good thing that we are so close and she has been getting a lot of extra kisses and cuddles x

06-01-2009, 01:02 PM
I kiss mine too - it comes totally naturally. But I wasn't sure if it was actually allowed or not. I ddn't kiss them when Mrs OFSTED was there just in case!

06-01-2009, 01:09 PM
Yes I do and won't have anyone telling me not to!!

Lots of cuddles and snuggles in my house :)
LO 22months came back after Xmas break yesterday and everytime I asked what the would like to do he said 'cuddles' with a big grin. By no way do I take over from parents, when a child is comfortable with you it is natural and a compliment.

06-01-2009, 01:13 PM
Yes I do, babies are irresitable for kissing!!

Infact their parents say at the end of the day 'have you given Alison her kisses and cuddles'. Now if that's what the parents want what can anyone else say?

If you ask them 'who loves you?' they say Alison:)

06-01-2009, 01:14 PM
:laughing: Oh, that said, I don't kiss my after schoolers:laughing: Just the wee ones, they outgrow wanting kisses

06-01-2009, 01:16 PM
btw ,i did kiss one of mine whilst ofsted where here-didnt even think about it she came up to me for a cuddle and i kissed the top of her head . afterwards the ispectors remarked that i had a lovely natural way with the kids:blush: so its obviously not frowned on - if it were id still do exactly the same lol

sue m
06-01-2009, 01:16 PM
Oh yes, mine gets lots of kisses and cuddles too, Mum and Dad are fine with it.

06-01-2009, 01:19 PM
Yes always

Kids love to kiss and cuddle and it makes them feel good and happy - nice for us too

Angel xx

06-01-2009, 01:24 PM
Kisses and cuddles in this house too.

Infact it takes 1 lo 10 mins to leave as he goes round kissing everyone at least twice. :D

Carol xx

06-01-2009, 01:26 PM
I kiss mine too and they kiss each other before they go for their naps.

They did this while the inspector was here and she wrote in my report how lovely it was that they had that kind of relationship.

mandy moo
06-01-2009, 01:30 PM
Littlest one gets lots of kisses and cuddles it feels quite natural,:)
and I wouldnt stop unless he was uncomfortable with it.
The 4 1/2 yr old tho is a diffrent matter, it has never felt quite right,
That sounds awful but the few times Ive done so shes pulled away :(
If she falls and hurts herself, she doesnt let me comfort her.
I will persevere, but the last thing I want is her going home and saying that i was touching her, do you know what i mean, she is extremley bright for her age and vocablary is very good too, I just wouldnt want it sounding/coming out the wrong way!

06-01-2009, 01:33 PM
I do kiss and show lots of affection to the little ones and my 6 year old mindee always gives me a kiss to say goodbye at the school gate. I feel that it is natural and if the children want to show you the affection it should not be rebuffed. We all hug and kiss goodbye too in front of the parents and I feel they feel happy that their children want to naturally do this too.
BUT at my last Ofsted inspection (coming up three years ago) it wasn't put on my report but when my 18 month mindee came and sat on my lap and kissed and cuddled me he remarked "I have no objection to displays of affection but other inspectors I know do so this may cause you problems in future inspections"
I should have said something but was so stunned I just kept quiet. A child should not be deprived of love and affection it is cruel and damaging in my opinion. :(
It's wrong isn't it that inspectors vary so much and their "opinions" shouldn't come into it but the same guidelines followed.

Chatterbox Childcare
06-01-2009, 02:19 PM
I do too. If it is their face, it is always the cheek but they love their finger, toes and raspberries on the tummies too. Mine always have a kiss and cuddle when they arrive and leave.

06-01-2009, 02:23 PM
I do too! Thats what I love about our job - we get so close to the children we care for. I feel like they are part of my family and I think the parents choose us because of this.

06-01-2009, 02:35 PM
sadly:o not with the children I have now, I just can;t (that makes me sound horrid I know!)

But my last baby mindie and lo I looked after before I moved, used to run in and have a hug and kiss, kisses and snuggles before nap, and the baby would come up to me for a ''ess ess' I miss him so much, but his mum sent a lovely message over christmas from Germany (they moved too:o )

06-01-2009, 02:41 PM
Like most of you I do kiss and cuddle mindees but if they are older when they come to me I let them set the 'rules' if you know what I mean. Babies and young children need physical contact to make them feel secure but you can't just start hugging a four/five year old that you don't know that well. having said that they are usually only with me for a couple of weeks before they initiate a hug or two.

I also have a 'Physical contact ' policy.

06-01-2009, 03:20 PM
The little girl I have has been coming since she was 5 months , she is now 2.5 and is very cuddley and has to kiss everyone before she goes home. (shes only here for 2 hours per day) If she sees me in Tesco she has to have a kiss and cuddle or even at the school gates in the morning when shes dropping her older sister off at school.

The 4.5 boy hates all contact even if hes hurt himself and is like this with his mum aswell at times. The nursery have made coments about it but just seems to be how he is.

06-01-2009, 05:09 PM
Me too, don't see how you could not!

06-01-2009, 05:47 PM
I give my 17 month old mindee a kiss and cuddle all the time. He goes in a huff and get's upset if i say no to a kiss, which i did when i wasn't well or if he isn't well. I can't help myself and wouldn't stop either as he loves the affection. It's what babies want and do. My 3 year old mindee sometimes gives me a kiss before he leaves aswell, but alway's gives me a cuddle, even though i haven't really bonded with him, but if i didn't do that when he is upset or just want's a cuddle then i will never bond with him and he won't with me either.

06-01-2009, 06:03 PM
I don't but don't have any little ones. It seems to be the way at the school drop off though.

06-01-2009, 06:15 PM
All the time kisses and cuddles

i dont see how you couldnt,

when they are so cute and with you all day, :D

06-01-2009, 06:16 PM
on the head/cheek is ok i think.
cuddles are fine

id prefer my kids to be show some sort affection

06-01-2009, 06:17 PM
lots and lots and lots:o

06-01-2009, 06:44 PM
Yes, the LO's get lots of kisses (cheek, top of head, hands) and cuddles. All the children I look after (0 through to 11 yrs) have all been with me since they were babies so even the big ones still come for the odd cuddle. It's all part of being one big extended 'family'. Two of my LO's insist on giving me a kiss when they leave at the end of the day which is lovely and I think it is reassuring for parents to know that their little loved one is so happy here.

06-01-2009, 06:46 PM
Little ones need kisses and cuddles :D

06-01-2009, 06:52 PM
We kiss our own babies and why because they love it and need it,,
so a big YES from me too lots of huggs and kisses xxxxx

Heaven Scent
06-01-2009, 06:59 PM
Oh I do all the time - even at school drop off & collection - except if I feel that a child would rather I didn't do it - I always take mt lead from the child -especially the older ones.

06-01-2009, 06:59 PM
mine love kisses and cuddles baby mindee loves having rapberries blown on his tummy after his nappy changes he really laughs its funny :laughing:

06-01-2009, 07:01 PM
my after schoolie 7 pretends she doesn't want to kiss but always leans in for a hug and kiss when i drop her off and she goes home.

Michelle M
06-01-2009, 07:33 PM
I give my lo's kisses and cuddles they love it, also a couple of children I take to School give me a cuddle before the go in to class, I was taken ababck the first time, but went with the flow. Another childminder I covered for once at School, the mindee is in Recpetion Class and she kissed me goodbye I was quite touched by it actually :)

06-01-2009, 08:14 PM
Oh yes:D . Kisses and cuddles:) . As they get older they can tell you (or you can see) if they are uncomfortable. But even some of my older ones loved a hug:). And often the children hug and kiss anyway with no encouragement - it's perfectly natural:thumbsup:

06-01-2009, 08:20 PM
i do to my baby mindee - she makes a smacking type noise with her lips which means she wants a kiss :laughing: my after schooler asks for 'magic kisses' if he hurts himself but i am more careful there just in case anything is ever misconstued. on saying that we do have cuddles and he kisses me sometimes when he leaves - on the cheek. i think its important to let them know you care for them.

06-01-2009, 08:45 PM
Kisses and hugs here too. My youngest mindee (7 months) gets really jealous if my wee girl gets one and she doesn't. I tell her I have lots to go around!

I cuddle and kiss the odler ones but I let them take the lead and instigate a cuddle is required.


06-01-2009, 08:48 PM
Yes we do too, enough one who is 14, she started with me when she was 2. Everytime she leaves I get a kiss on the cheek.


06-01-2009, 11:22 PM
i do to, on their cheek, forehead or hair, as per my physical contact policy

07-01-2009, 09:26 AM
Yes for me it would be odd not to with the amount of hours I am with my full time charge.

07-01-2009, 09:52 AM
I don't kiss mine but do give lots of hugs and cuddles. Maybe I don't because i have never looked after a baby from very young and the majority of children I care for are over 8.

I look after a 12 year old boy, he was being dropped off by his mum's adult female friend - she dropped him off and said "Give us a kiss" and gave him a big smacker right on the lips!! Don't know if it's me but it didn't feel/look right and I couldn't imagine doing it myself.

07-01-2009, 03:45 PM
I had a physical contact policy in place too and I kiss and cuddle the smaller ones.

my 11 year old I am lucky to get a conversation let alone anything else :rolleyes: but I think its in appropriate for this age anyway.

07-01-2009, 04:27 PM
Depends on the state of their noses at the time !

mandy moo
08-01-2009, 08:27 AM
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

08-01-2009, 08:28 AM
Yuck!! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

08-01-2009, 01:07 PM
I kiss and cuddle the children but some of them aren't used to being kissed or cuddled much so I don't force myself on them. I love having a cuddle and most of the children do too :)

08-01-2009, 01:22 PM
Yes, but only the younger ones. My parents are all ok with it, some tell their kids to give me a kiss before they go home. ahh

08-01-2009, 05:59 PM
Mine get kisses and cuddles and on of mine is particularly tactile. I would never turn a child away who wanted a kiss and cuddle.

As someone else said earlier, how can you expect a child to spend all day with someone and not get any affection?

08-01-2009, 10:08 PM
If it feels right I do. I wouldn't be able to relax if I had to watch myself in case I kissed them!!

09-01-2009, 09:58 PM
Its funny you know...when my daughter went to a childminder I remember one day picking her up and the childminder kissed her goodbye and I was really shocked! I sent my daughter to childminders since she was 6 months old and it never even crossed my mind. Funny, isnt it!
Anyway - Im also in the kissing camp. I do get some funny looks at the toddler groups but I dont care. I sell my business on the fact that your kids are looked after and cherished as though they were my own. And I mean it too. If I dont get on with a child (or they dont get on with me!!) I will end their contract. Otherwise, I fall head over heels with each and every one of them! Obviously some kids are huggy and some arent, and that is something that is totally respected. I also wouldnt be hugging and kissing a child until they were used to me. (Unless they were a baby, of coure!!)

For the bigger kids - its funny because at the moment I look after a pair of sisters (7 and 9) and a boy (8). I also look after a brother and sister (9 and 10). The boys always give me a big hug and stuff but the girls I wouldnt dare!! They would die of mortification or something!! :laughing: