Contract Advice please

[mrs lilly]

I need a little advice please.

I have a child holiday only care and this is the second holiday I have had him for. He arrives with a bag of toys which he wont share with the other children
and so last night I sent the bag home with mum and asked that it stay there as he isn't sharing and it causing arguments. He turned up today with bag and as he and his dad strted walking up the drive he started to cry and so dad decided to take him home to find out why?? He is 2 months short of being 5 by the way so not a baby.

I phoned mum to find out what was wrong and the only possible explanation is the toys and mum was defending him saying they are new etc.. and that I should understand this. I made it clear from day one that if toys are brought in hey had to share them and X was no different. She also informs me that his previous CM had babies so he didn't have to share so the problem has not arisen before, anyway she didnt seem very supportive and was quick to defend his behaviour.

I was thinking of giving notice in the new year as it goes as I have new children starting, dont need his money and he dosent fit in very well with my child as he is very selfish which I dont like. I now want to do it now but am unsure what to sight as the reasons without being negative about the child.

His dad has decided to take the day off and stay at home with him today as he was too upset to come apparently :rolleyes:

As if life hasn't been stressful enough of late too!

[crazybones]

We have the same rule here. More fool the parents for giving in to him. I think you need to have a talk with the parents but if you want to give notice then maybe its for the best as they dont seem very supportive to you. Good Luck.

[Lottie]

IMO the parents are doing their child no favours by, what it reads as, pandering to his behaviour.If you aren't being supported by the parents then maybe you should terminate the contract. I know I would if I wasn't happy.

p.s The child's selfishness is only a manifestation of the way his parents have taught him to interact imo.

p.p.s If you are going to termiante you don't have to give the real reasons for doing so. Also not sure parents would be very happy if anything even deemed negative was said about child. Maybe just say something along the lines of 'family commitments' that way they can't really say anything to that or ask about it.

[yummymummy]

If I were you I wouldn't get into stating exact reasons for notice, you are giving plenty of time so I would just say due to change in circumstances or other commitments. Good luck with it, giving notice is never easy!

[angeldelight]

I have the same rule - I do not let children bring their toys

But on saying that ........

This little one is obviously fairly new if this is only his second holiday time with you ?

I understand where you are coming from about him sharing but maybe he needs to settle down with you a little first and he gets some comfort with his bag of toys from home
You are a new childminder to him and hes not only got to get used to you but your home and the other children

I dont blame him not wanting to share to be honest - I would not want to share something of my own with people that I dont know much !!

Maybe once he is more settled and he sees the toys that you have - he wont be wanting his own any more anyway and can leave them in the hall way or somewhere safe

You need to work at this and distract him away from them and encourage him to play with the other children and show him your toys
I find it works every time

But at the moment he is obviously getting comfort from his toys and that is why he is upset - thats my view anyway

Angel xx

[crazybones]

I have actually read the original post again and think he is a very lucky boy to get new toys less than 2 weeks before Xmas. :cool:

[angeldelight]

I have actually read the original post again and think he is a very lucky boy to get new toys less than 2 weeks before Xmas. :cool:


Maybe he had a birthday or something?

Angel xx

[crazybones]

Maybe he had a birthday or something?

Angel xx

No he is 2 months short of his birthday. Maybe I am just an evil mother. :D

[mrs lilly]

Hey all

thanks for the good advice here. As far as this boy gos he is just over indulged and spoilt, and he is a private school too which usually compounds this sort of behaviour as parents feel they can tell the school what to do ( I taught in one fr a time) and the kids know this and so play up even more.

I will see what happens tomorrow and if he comes back. I think this is the knock on effect of last months visit from OFTSED/SS as it has knocked my confidence to deal with this as I am now terrified they will complain about me. Twice in as many months would look good wouldn't it!?!?! They have paid me for the holiday so at least thats covered. They have a standing order set up for January though that I want them to stop so I don't have to refund anything hence why i want to tell them but then I still have to see them so at the end of the holiday was my preference.

[Rubybubbles]

I would let him bring them, but once parent gone, put them up out the way :laughing:

Bit like dummies in my book they want them when with parents then as soon as they get into the setting they forget about them!


But by the sounds of things, your not happy with how things are and only you can deside what you want to do and

[Pipsqueak]

I have the rule here if you bring it then its something the children need to be prepared to share. Obviously if its something really really special then it gets looked and and then put away so it doesn't get broken/lost. If its a personal toy like comfort teddy then teddy can sit on the back of the sofa but he may well get looked at/touched.
I do explain all this to parents and touch wood so far I have had no problems.

No real advice for this situation, its sounds as if you have made your mind up about giving notice. Hope it all works out

[mrs lilly]

I made my mind up about it about 10 days ago before he came back but it was timing of when to tell them and the fact that this incident has clouded the issue somewhat and so i didn't know what to say to them as its not just about this. Because he is private school he has longer holidays than my other kids and so overlaps with them near the start/end of term and in Jan I have several new kids starting full time and would be over my numbers if he were here as well so thats the main reason. But because of this incident this morning from him and his parents I would like to end it sooner. Also I was unsure how to word the notice as I have never had to do it before and wanted to ensure I didn't say something I shouldn't. They will think it is about this and although in part it is its not the main reason.

[angeldelight]

I made my mind up about it about 10 days ago before he came back but it was timing of when to tell them and the fact that this incident has clouded the issue somewhat and so i didn't know what to say to them as its not just about this. Because he is private school he has longer holidays than my other kids and so overlaps with them near the start/end of term and in Jan I have several new kids starting full time and would be over my numbers if he were here as well so thats the main reason. But because of this incident this morning from him and his parents I would like to end it sooner. Also I was unsure how to word the notice as I have never had to do it before and wanted to ensure I didn't say something I shouldn't. They will think it is about this and although in part it is its not the main reason.


If you have already made your mind up just say something like " I am cutting down on my work load due to personal reasons "
That is what I did when I was unhappy with a child I was minding
They wont really ask questions and they wont think its aimed at them and even if they do what can they say ?

Good luck hope it works out

Angel xx

[barbarella68]

I totally agree with Angeldelight he has only been with you for a short time and he hasn't had time to settle in.If he is an only child this may be why he is like this too.
I wouldn't share my toys with strangers either.
Anyway hope everything goes well.:)

[mushpea]

you could just put in the termination letter that you don't think he has settled in very well and for his sake you think it would be better if he didnt come or you could just put somthing like the other people said about family commitments.
as regards to toys, i have the rule that if they bring them they share them and if they cant share them they go in my cupboard till home time, my kids have the same rule, ie their toys stay upstars if they don't want to share them. its not fair for the other children if he won't share.

[a.lmb]

im the same as u if they bring toys they have to share write a letter to all parents stating about the toys and sharing otherwise they are not to bring them as toys are provided even say insurance purposes they are not covered as they are personal items try that one