I'm horrified by own ds...

[acorns]

Firstly, I have a mindee screamer of 16 months old, he was at it again this morning as we are all getting ready for school run, he was in lounge with me when my own ds pushed him hard enough to fall over:angry: :angry: :angry: , purely because he was fed up with the mindees crying/screaming. What makes it worse is that my own ds didn't realise I was standing there so he made a concious choice to do it. He is easily old enough to know better.
Now i'm thinking if I should terminate contracts with the screamer as it's obviously affecting my own ds, but he could do the same with any mindee for any reason. I'm going to change things around indoors so that they are in the playroom without ds at all times when I'm not directly in the room with them, this will mean I can see them at all times when I'm in the kitchen. I have tried it before but mindee screamed louder & longer as a door has to be shut. As for toilet I'll just have to hold it outside of school hours. I'm just soooo mad at my own child, it's a good job he's at school today.

[Spangles]

I can understand why you are angry with your son, how old is he?

Is this just a one off thing or is there more to it? It seems to be rather drastic to make all these changes if it was just one push?

How does he normally get on with the mindee? Screaming constantly is very stressful. Could you just talk it through with your son and ask him how he feels, what would help him, say to him if the screaming gets too much to leave the room, etc.? If it doesn't normally bother him this much could there be something else on his mind worrying him too?

I don't know obviously because I wasn't there or no all the facts.

[acorns]

he's 9 and blows hot and cold with this mindee. He can be aggressive towards other children at school but up till now I have not seen it at home. I did come down on him like a ton of bricks this morning, I know it's not the right thing to do & it wasn't in front of the mindee (pms has something to do with it!!). I was so mad that he could hurt a little one and feel that what I know of him (he can be agressive towards a younger cousin) I can take no chances:( .

[Spangles]

It must be very stressful for you to have to cope with this.

Maybe you do need to follow your above ideas for a while. Would getting him more involved with helping you with the mindee help do you think - under your close supervision of course?

I hope someone else is able to offer you some advice, there's bound to be someone on here who's gone through the same kind of thing.

x

[Ripeberry]

I'm so sorry about the stress you must be under. I dread having a screamer!
And i know my own children will get upset as well.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with screamers? Apart from good earplugs?:eek:

[Lottie]

Is it possible that he might just of 'had enough' this morning and this is just a one off?

[acorns]

I think he had just had enough & I do feel for him having to listen to all this, but im worried about the next time he's 'had enough' and the time after that. I also look after a baby and he is very caring towads the baby and his little sister and has never hurt her. TBH I'm also feeling like i've 'had enough', but i feel trapped with the screamer and guilty for not being able to cope with him and considering handing in the towel. How can I give notice based on me not being able to cope with a child's temperment. I really enjoy time with my own ds and the new baby is lovely. I do think that our house would be more settled without this particular mindee (it's so awful to be saying:( )

[berkschick]

The screamer who I only had for a grand total of 3 days used to really upset my son. He is 7 and used to end up crying himself and walk around with his fingers in his ears.

Do what is right for you and your family, I am glad I did

[gemhei]

I have a screamer shes 13 mths, my DD whos 18 mths sits with hands over her ears and sometimes goes up, pushes her and says shhhh in her face!! I dont know what to suggest in your case as mine are both little and Sometimes she even joins in the screaming :panic: . If i remove DD and get her interested in something else shes usually ok.

[Lottie]

How can I give notice based on me not being able to cope with a child's temperment.

Well I wouldn't say anything about not coping with the child, looks unprofessional and may cause a backlash.
Maybe just write something along the lines of..." Due to family commitments it is with regret I will not be able to look after your child from such and such a date..."

Reading the rest of your post I believe you should do what's right for you and your family. The more you get stressed then the more your son will pick up on it and the probability would be that the same issue arises at a later date. Don't feel awful about saying these things. What you are showing is that you are responsible, considerate and kind enough to spot these issues in the first place .

[sarah707]

Don't be too hard on him... yes what he did was wrong but let it lie now and try to move on.

It's awful being a mum and seeing childminded children affecting our own. It's a learning curve for him too.

Lottie's advice is good.

Sending hugs xx

[angeldelight]

I agree with everyone

Good advice

Hope you are ok and your son

Sending hugs

Angel xx

[acorns]

What with this and the parents reaction to my refusal to continue offering a sandwich (on another thread) that has just topped my day.:mad:

[berkschick]

When I had my screamer, I was still within the settling in period. The parents had not attended any of the settling in sessions with him, did not send along any nappies, were not prepared to do anything to help the situation. He hand on heart screamed constantly for 9 hours at a time. Did not sleep, eat or drink.

So I have immediate notice.

Maybe it was wrong and unproffessional of me but I did what I had to do for my family, they come first Im afraid. I do this job so that I can be here for my kids, not make their life a nightmare! It has not affected my business in anyway, I still get plenty of phone calls.

My screamer is now with a new minder who, despite telling me at a toddler group how settled he was there, has also just given the family notice as he hasnt settled there either!

Put yourself and your family first.

[acorns]

Can I just say due to family circumstances in my notice to them?? They will ask me to explain, could I just say it would work better for my family to have 1 FT mindee only (who's the baby I have & arrived after them). I'm worried about any complaint they could make to Ofsted

[berkschick]

You dont have to give them a reason or explain yourself.

Just keep it simple.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to say due to family circumstances and leave it at that.

[acorns]

You dont have to give them a reason or explain yourself.

Just keep it simple.

I think it is perfectly acceptable to say due to family circumstances and leave it at that.

Thank you, the other thing that annoyed me a bit was that the parents are off all over xmas and they wanted me to have him on every day he was due here, some people just don't want to spend time with their own kids.
I'll do the notice after xmas, or sooner if I need to:rolleyes: