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View Full Version : winging for 5 months now, what other things can i do to try to stop him?



sammy
05-12-2008, 12:19 AM
ive put this on another thread too, just need advice?

i have a 11 month old and literally since 5 months ago he hasnt stopped crying yet, its not tears, just a noise but its almost as if he has now got a bad habit that he cant break. He used to scream the house down CONSTANTLY for about 1 and half months, 4 FULL days a week!!! wouldnt settled if held, put in car, fed, spoke to, toys - literally NOTHING would settle him- Hes mum said well at least hes not sick (as when visiting other cm he would make himself sick, this is when she was looking for the right person)

Anyway now he will cry (no tears, so i just called it a crying noise!!) when put down, and as soon as he is picked up - thats it not a peek!!, but im certainly not holding him all day - been there and done all that even wore the sling!

Hes mum said he is very clingy with them, and im not sure the dad can handle him half the time. But why is it i get the nightmare ones!! my house was sooo lovely and peaceful, now its full of screaming. I have 3 other boys myself and i dont think its fair on them as they have to listen to his constant winging every time i go and play with them too. On top of that i also mind another 6 part time - they are all very easy.

I have left him to winge but he just sits there (has only just started to crawl to me now) he certainly doesnt give up and will carry on and on and on.

Im not sure it helps as hes mum speaks her native language, but talks english to me, but other wise i reckon 90% she speaks urdu. which might be part of the reason but i have NEVER met a child like this, my husband even went to pick him up as he was crying on the floor with toys, whilst i made dinner, and the baby turned his back on him, literally turned his whole body away.

Just so strange, can anyone explain if this child is normal and what else can i do, ive tried everything (i think)??

angeldelight
05-12-2008, 07:16 AM
You sure you dont have the little boy I mind ? Oh no it cant be him he is 2

Crikey I know how you feel I am in the same boat - not only does it upset the other children it stresses me out also

I am seriously considering giving notice after christmas to be honest - I think I have been more than patient now I have had him since he was a few mths old

You sound like you have done everything just like I have in fact
The problem with my little one is that the parents dont always work with me and hes left to do what he wants at home etc etc
So this does make my job really difficult

I really dont know what to suggest to you

But maybe like me you need to consider giving notice also? You sound like you are fairly busy so do you need to have this little one ?
I should take my own advice really haha

Sorry I have run out of ideas so im not much help

You can message me though if ever it gets to much and maybe we can then scream together - we might feel better :laughing: :laughing:

I really feel for you I know what its like

Good luck

Angel xx

don the duck
05-12-2008, 07:24 AM
i to have the same problem.. he will eventually settle then cry for attention. to be picked up. fed. hes comforted by breast at home to.

what can i say. it did get easier but having time off its gone back to square one.

we can all be a rock for each other. pm me too if need to. Sending you calm nerves..

angeldelight
05-12-2008, 07:41 AM
i to have the same problem.. he will eventually settle then cry for attention. to be picked up. fed. hes comforted by breast at home to.

what can i say. it did get easier but having time off its gone back to square one.

we can all be a rock for each other. pm me too if need to. Sending you calm nerves..


Poor you

We all need to scream together might make us feel better haha

Have a good day

Angel xx

balloon
05-12-2008, 07:55 AM
I know what you're going through, we have the same here too (and funnily enough I've been toying with the idea of giving notice too!).

It sounds as if you have tried loads of stuff and don't really have anything to add except I think Angel is right and maybe it's time to consider giving notice...

Apart from that you have my sympathy, I feel shattered when my whinger goes home at night and I know it upsets the other little ones too so I can totally understand how you feel.

Hugsxx

yummymummy
05-12-2008, 01:41 PM
I have had crying babies both of whom for the first week cried all day and then transferred the way the were with mum to me i.e being held, picked up and carried all day long. Screaming the place down if I left the room etc. But luckily for me this lasted a month with the worst and two weeks with the best.
Aside from all you are doing I have no advice because it was the same for me but the babies just got used to being apart from mum and with me, I can only say that I felt miserable and stressed the whole time it was going on and I think you need a medal to have lasted as long as you have without going insane!
Perhaps you need to speak to mum and explain what is going on and come up with a strategy you are both happy with (no good if you doing one thing and baby constantly being carried around at home) give it a set time and then agree to notice.
You have been more than fair but it must be really taking its toll on you and your family.
Good luck I really hope it all gets better soon.:thumbsup:

Andrea08
05-12-2008, 01:54 PM
it would seem more common than i first thought i too had a screamer and one day when i was in the kitchen i heard all the other children scream at the same time realy loudly i came running in to find that the children were all sat on the floor and just screamed??? why? and the older one said,,,the baby screams all the time so if we scream the baby (13 mths old)might stop because its not nice!!


three days the others kept screaming back at the baby, and shhhh???? no baby dont scream no more??? i said its not nice to scream back at the baby but they kept doing it every time i turned my back,
im not saying its right but it worked, just like the advert where mum has a tantrum in the shop and rolls about on the floor child so shocked he just stopped (i like that add and yes i too have done it lol)

good luck hun and get ear plugs xxx

acorns
05-12-2008, 10:39 PM
Maybe we can all be brave and give notice together:idea:

sammy
05-12-2008, 11:21 PM
well at least im not on my own, and thanks for reading my lengthy post (didnt realise i wrote so much) well i did consider giving notice at our 3month review, but the baby was better for the last week of that notice, so i thought ah ha!! might have cracked it,but as soon as i said ill take him on as hes better..... then what happened - waaahhhhhhhh!!! what makes it worse is that just before my 3 month review the mum has now moved to be near me !!! what a situation to be in (for me) she used to have to drive 30 mins to get to me, then drive back past her house to get to work, all because she wasnt happy with any other c/minder that she viewed.

She knows hes hard work and now we are working in the theory that it might be because hes frustrated as hes not mobile,and that when he walks things might change -pigs might fly in my opinion!! He just wants to be held - honestly you should see him -my friends cant believe it.

I did say to the mum that i think when he crys i need to make a loud noise to let him associate that its not good to make that noise (when theres nothing wrong with him obvioulsy) like shaking something loud. Like in dog training!! when they bark they shake something to stop them. Obedience training - lol (still dont think it would work though not with him) but she didnt think i was being serious, and probably thought i was really evil at the thought of it. But its like one of you said with screaming back - it worked.

Angel you said your one is 2 years!!!! i definately cant put up with this for that long, i want to enjoy my kids, my youngest are 2 and 3 - soon they will be at school and i dont want them to have winging in there ears.

Im really going to consider things after christmas (i do get paid well though) but i could definately get another baby, theres always people wanting minders where i am. I would just feel sorry for her as i know not many people would put up with him.

Also her day off from work was today and where did he come - to me (fridays are normally my day off) he must be a nightmare with her too, but being as hes her first i think she does worry when he crys/winges and probably does pander to him and he gets his own way- i think thats why hes so angry with me - because im not putting up with that, i think children should be exploring at that age not hanging off you constantly.

Anyway sorry ANOTHER lengthy post, big hug to everyone x its good to talk

sammy
05-12-2008, 11:25 PM
its me again - haha

I forgot to mention that i also have a little chinese boy for 2 mornings a week too, i had him before taking on the wingy baby. And ever since he has seemed unhappy here, and has on occasions cried himself and made himself sick, all because the babys winging.

I must add i am a very caring loving person and im very cuddly, and theres no reason for them to be unhappy here apart from the babys winging.

right ill go now....

angeldelight
05-12-2008, 11:27 PM
its me again - haha

I forgot to mention that i also have a little chinese boy for 2 mornings a week too, i had him before taking on the wingy baby. And ever since he has seemed unhappy here, and has on occasions cried himself and made himself sick, all because the babys winging.

I must add i am a very caring loving person and im very cuddly, and theres no reason for them to be unhappy here apart from the babys winging.

right ill go now....


Yes I think its the baby that is setting the other little boy off

I have had the same problem in the past

What a pain hope you work it out otherwise you best put earplugs down on your christmas list haha

:laughing: :laughing:

Angel xx