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devoncm
15-11-2008, 12:19 PM
I have an after school mindee who i have in holidays aswell, she is turning into a nightmare.
She was lovely when she started in september, now she is bossy shouts all the time, and doesnt like it if things dont go her way. 2 of our toys broke in 2 days one of them my dd brought the day before! she said it wasnt her fault altho i saw her snatch it out my dd's hands.

As the last couple of weeks she has been horrible to other children including my youngest and step son, about his speech of all things. This week me and mindee sat down and done a spider web for house rules- she came up with some really good points and i thought she really thought about it- next day she is horrible to dd agian, i take her from activities but im going in circles.

Ive explained to her everyone has rules, but she says she doesnt in her house, and when i spoke to her mum about it she said no they dont as its just the two of them!!!:eek:

miss muffit
15-11-2008, 12:44 PM
what a little madam :angry:

i would show her your house rules again and if age appropriate i would get her to sign and say she will abid by them.

I would show Mum your house rules and tell her that she will have to speak to her daughter, maybe she could take it home with her so she could get it through to her daughter it unacceptable behaviour

I would get her Mum involved as much as possible

ask her if she would like it if some of her things got broken by another child
(bet she wouldnt)

i would keep an eye on her ( not saying you dont) and give her time out on her own to think about her behaviour

or maybe shes being bullied as she has just started being a madam in your home,
who knows that might be the answer

good luck :)

devoncm
15-11-2008, 12:59 PM
I have said to her about having her own things broken and no she wouldnt like it, when she jumps on my furniture she has to sit on the floor rest of time she with me.

her mum does tell her its not nice when she picks her up

miss muffit
15-11-2008, 01:15 PM
sorry i would not let her sit on my furniture if she has NO respect for it

she would have to prove to me she could behave before she ever sat on it again...and yes i would tell her mother in front of the child so she knows that you are not having it.

i have a lad that started with me that lies all the time and yes i say to mum
even if i see him do it he still says he didnt :angry:

The way you have to look at it is that its YOUR house/home YOUR house rules, if she doesnt want to abid by them,

then tell her she will have to find some one else to go to ( i would say this all in front of both Mum and girl)

i sound a right old bag dont I lol!!

devoncm
15-11-2008, 04:41 PM
I have said to her time and again this week that if it carries on she wont be able to come anymore and mum will have to find alternative are, ive not said anything to mum yet except about her behaviour though.

kindredspirits
15-11-2008, 07:13 PM
i've got an afterschooler a bit like this, i think it takes some tough love - he kept saying B U M even though i asked him repeatedly not to, so i put him on 5 minutes time out - i was expecting a tantrum but he did it. did the whole thing where i asked if he knew what he did wrong, can i have a hug etc after.... 10 mins later he did it again.... time out again.
the following day, not a peep out of him. :laughing:
i think you need to tell her that in your house you do have rules, give it a few weeks and then if its too much hard work give notice.. you need to get a punishment like timeout for when she breaks your rules and stick to it like glue.
anna x

Chatterbox Childcare
15-11-2008, 07:46 PM
You don't mention a behaviour policy or consequences to breaking of your house rules. Do you have any and do your enforce them?

If she is a single daughter with no dad then discipline may be a little wayward in her house and she needs to learn different boundaries.

Be assertive, firm and I think most importantly consistent. Set boundaries, acceptable and non acceptable behaviour and known consequences should these be breached.

Start now that things are going wrong and nip it in the bud, then you will have a harmonious household but it might take a couple of weeks.

Good luck

devoncm
16-11-2008, 01:35 PM
Thanks, i do have a behaviour policy which mum has seen but think ill print it off again read it through with child and give to parent, i will also do a copy of what will happen if they dont behave and let both parent and child know about it and take it home.

When she started it was over her not eating her food but i perserveered and for every day for 2 weeks she has eaten every meal.

Think ill do a time out step for 5 minutes each time, hopefully that will work.

Thanks everyone.