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abba1772
17-10-2008, 10:50 AM
yesterday morning i was expecting a drop off of a mindee at my home at 7.30 well he was 10 mins late and i was getting my kids organised for school and i had to pick another mindee up at 8Am.

i took his lunch bag off the dad and asked him did he need his breakfast and i'm sure dad said no! then we got chatting and again i asked him does he need his breakfast and again i'm sure he said no!

anyway all was fine kid was a bit grizzly and wolfed down his lunch and pudding. mum came to pick him up early and away she went

got a phone call today from the dad saying they were terminating my contract because i didn't feed their son his breakfast but i asked twice

the mum won't speak to me and i don't know what to do!!!! i like having this little one around and i am seriously at a loss at what to do

do i phone ofsted and let them know whats happened????? and do i phone ncma

to be honest i ain't bother about the money it's only part time i'm just really upset at the mo


PLEASE HELP:crying: :crying:

abba1772
17-10-2008, 11:17 AM
ANYONE

I WOULD NEVER EVER LET A CHILD SKIP A MEAL

PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME

I SITTING HERE BAWLING MY EYES OUT

sarahstanbridge
17-10-2008, 11:21 AM
i would have done the same thing.... you asked twice . i dont see what else you could have done.

i think i would inform ofsted just cover my own back...

hope that helps you.

(hugs to you)

sarah707
17-10-2008, 11:23 AM
Have there been any other problems with the family before?

Presumably if the child is old enough to tell parents he missed breakfast then he's old enough to tell you he was hungry...

Or to ask for more food at morning snack time which would have rung alarm bells that he was extra peckish today...

I wonder if this missed meal thing is an excuse and something else is going on?

We all make the odd mistake but don't expect to have contracts terminated because of it...

Sending hugs xx

Mollymop
17-10-2008, 11:26 AM
Poor oyu, of course you wouldn't let a child go hungry. It sounds as if it may have been a misunderstanding that is all.
Can you phone the parents and ask explain to them that you would never let a child go without their meal but you asked Dad twice in the morning whether he needed breakfast and he said no.
Really it is up to the parents to let you know whether the child has had breakfast or not - Especially if not!!!
Why should you have to worry about it so much. WHat about if you had forgotten to ask? At least you asked, where as he didn't even bother to let you know and it's his child!
I feel amd for you.
Don't let it make you feel too upset - It is not your fault.
Give them a ring and explain.

angeldelight
17-10-2008, 11:32 AM
Oh poor you

I think there is more going on here - I dont think its fair to end a contract with you just because a child missed breakfast
Im sure if the child was hungry he would have told you?

Even if they do give you notice they still have to give you 4 weeks so they are going to have to face you when they bring their child
I would then try to have a chat with them

If you cant wait till Monday give them a call and explain how upset you are

Its not your fault though so dont be upset

Let us know if you manage to speak to them

Angel xxx

katickles
17-10-2008, 11:43 AM
I totally agree with the others - sounds odd to me that they would terminate because of a missed breakfast :panic:

I would try & speak to them & explain what happened & see if there are any underlying problems you wern't aware of.

Also Angel is right - what about the 4 weeks notice period?

http://newtickers.bump-and-beyond.com/22/2229/222928.png (http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/)

wendywu
17-10-2008, 12:02 PM
It sounds like this is an excuse to me. Everyone makes mistakes. Which goes back to the thread where a new parent got the place and time of pick up wrong and should he have been charged the extra hour. I said no because you could then not make a mistake yourself.

Back on topic, they still owe you 4 weeks notice and if they are this picky then you are well rid of them. Explain to the dad you DID ask twice and he answered NO twice. But dont worry about 1 missed meal. I dont think it constitutes as abuse.:rolleyes:

abba1772
17-10-2008, 12:05 PM
he wouldn't be able to tell me as he's only 5 months thats why i double checked as his breakfast was packed in his back by his mum yet dad said no on two occasions

phone ofsted to let them know what was happening, they told me to write down what happened yesterday morning so will do that later on this afternoon.

i even said to the dad I just texted your wife as your were running late and i need to go pick up another child and not once did he mention breakfast until i asked him. it would have been a rush but i would have fed him anyway even gave him his porrige first them gave him his milk while we waited for the kids to go to school.

poor wee soul was very fussy yesterday but they won't return or answer any of my phonecalls so what else can i do i also think they will be wriggling out the 4 weeks contract clause too but can't get a hold of ncma.

i think the are hoping that if i don't do the 4 weeks thing then they won't report me now i'm getting really ticked off

Polly2
17-10-2008, 12:08 PM
If it were me I would ask to meet up and have a chat with them. it sounds like there is more to this.

Be completely honest and upfront.

Then if they are still adamant about terminating you know you have been professional and done all you can.

Please don't be upset none of us are perfect and misunderstandings do happen.

hus to you xx

crazybones
17-10-2008, 12:08 PM
They cant terminate contract by text message. It must be written. How long have you had the baby for?

abba1772
17-10-2008, 12:32 PM
It sounds like this is an excuse to me. Everyone makes mistakes. Which goes back to the thread where a new parent got the place and time of pick up wrong and should he have been charged the extra hour. I said no because you could then not make a mistake yourself.

Back on topic, they still owe you 4 weeks notice and if they are this picky then you are well rid of them. Explain to the dad you DID ask twice and he answered NO twice. But dont worry about 1 missed meal. I dont think it constitutes as abuse.:rolleyes:

dad is now claiming he said yes so it's his word against mine

abba1772
17-10-2008, 12:33 PM
They cant terminate contract by text message. It must be written. How long have you had the baby for?


i've had him for 8 weeks now he was settling in nicely

crazybones
17-10-2008, 12:41 PM
i've had him for 8 weeks now he was settling in nicely

So previously how has it worked over breakfast? Do you give it normally every day or is it one of those casual things where you have to wait to be told if he needs it? What agreement did you come to with parents over it. If you are supposed to be a mind reader they should have made a note in his diary each morning telling you whether or not to give it. When they are late and you are rushing it can easily get missed.

I have a feeling (might be totally off here) but if you have had him 8 weeks and then 4 weeks notice = 12 weeks mum had to go back to work for to keep her maternity pay. This could have been her plan all along and now she is looking for an excuse to give you and has leapt upon this.

Rubybubbles
17-10-2008, 12:44 PM
:( oh no hun

firstly big hug ((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Second have you got a cuppa:thumbsup:

Do you normally provide breakfast? if not then *** is dad going on about.

At 5 months old, hows can the baby tell you, err I've not eaten yet, did he have mid morning milk at all? just to set the picture a bit more

Secondly, agree that sounds like a bit of a cop out from the parents! they are going against the working with parents , it goes both ways! If they are terminating, he need to write you a letter, and 4 weeks starts from the date you RECIEVE the letter

hope you get this sorted hun, after this I don;t think I could carry on, shows no trust from there side, and the fact dad is saying I said yes, doesn't go well for a good relationship further down the line

abba1772
17-10-2008, 12:47 PM
So previously how has it worked over breakfast? Do you give it normally every day or is it one of those casual things where you have to wait to be told if he needs it? What agreement did you come to with parents over it. If you are supposed to be a mind reader they should have made a note in his diary each morning telling you whether or not to give it. When they are late and you are rushing it can easily get missed.

I have a feeling (might be totally off here) but if you have had him 8 weeks and then 4 weeks notice = 12 weeks mum had to go back to work for to keep her maternity pay. This could have been her plan all along and now she is looking for an excuse to give you and has leapt upon this.

I give them a slip at the end of each day which shows what they've had to eat, when they had their nappies changed whether is was dirty or wet and when they have their nap times. I keep log books

i don't have him often in the morning only once out of 2 weeks but on tuesday the mum asked if i could have him from 7.30 instead of the arranged 12.30 and i agreed. think this might be a plot for them to get out their contract.

abba1772
17-10-2008, 12:55 PM
:( oh no hun

firstly big hug ((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))

Second have you got a cuppa:thumbsup:

Do you normally provide breakfast? Sometimes when the parents are running late or they ask so because it was so early i asked did the wee man need his breakfast out of being nice, well thats went out the window if not then *** is dad going on about.

At 5 months old, hows can the baby tell you, err I've not eaten yet, did he have mid morning milk at all? they are weaning him of his bottles so he only has one at breakfast time then he has his jar of food at 11.45 followed by a fruit puree when i suggested fromage frais they said he didn't like it but i told them they need to make sure he's getting calcuim in his diet just to set the picture a bit more

Secondly, agree that sounds like a bit of a cop out from the parents! they are going against the working with parents , it goes both ways! If they are terminating, he need to write you a letter, and 4 weeks starts from the date you RECIEVE the letter

hope you get this sorted hun, after this I don;t think I could carry on, shows no trust from there side, and the fact dad is saying I said yes, doesn't go well for a good relationship further down the line i won't be continuing if i haven't heard from them on monday i will terminate the contract myself as like you said it won't do the relationship any good

heads getting better now

crazybones
17-10-2008, 01:08 PM
I give them a slip at the end of each day which shows what they've had to eat, when they had their nappies changed whether is was dirty or wet and when they have their nap times. I keep log books

i don't have him often in the morning only once out of 2 weeks but on tuesday the mum asked if i could have him from 7.30 instead of the arranged 12.30 and i agreed. think this might be a plot for them to get out their contract.

Well if it was a new arrangement to have him early the Dad should have made a point of telling you he needed his breakfast. FULL STOP!!!

marian
17-10-2008, 01:57 PM
Poor you:(
I agree that these parents are looking for a way out
But why are they weaning him off his bottles so young?:panic:
Seems a bit early too me

Hope you get it sorted

Marian x

Chatterbox Childcare
17-10-2008, 02:01 PM
Don't take this personally, just learn from it.

Oh and don't forget to bill them for the notice period.

abba1772
17-10-2008, 02:05 PM
Poor you:(
I agree that these parents are looking for a way out
But why are they weaning him off his bottles so young?:panic:
Seems a bit early too me

Hope you get it sorted

Marian x

they're weaning him off them because he's constantly sick when he drinks the baby forumlas but i told them they have to find a substitute for the milk to make sure he is getting the correct nutrients

abba1772
17-10-2008, 02:07 PM
Don't take this personally, just learn from it.

Oh and don't forget to bill them for the notice period.

it's hard not to take it personally when someone attacks your ability to do your job but i will defo learn from it no more nicey nicey childminder

"oh do you mind if i pay next week" yes a i do lol

i'm currently in th queue to chat to someone on ncma legal helpline as they dad is due to drop of the child on moday morning at yes you guessed it 7.30 in the morning

mum22
17-10-2008, 02:11 PM
Hi Abba

Sorry just caught up with this, you have done all the right things asked if lo needed breakfast, think as has been said looking for a way out or dad messed up and doesnt want to own up to mum......

Hope you are feeling a bit better, not nice of them.

abba1772
17-10-2008, 02:23 PM
thanks girls still waiting for a call back from ncma legal advice about terminating the contract but i need them to get back to me today as they are expected first thing on monday monring.

if they don't show next week and i haven't received termination of contract do i charge them for the week they have booked as well as 4 weeks notice????

Pipsqueak
17-10-2008, 02:57 PM
Hun I think you need to write them a letter (if you want help drafting one give me a pm) especially as they are not answering your calls.

There is definately more to this than meets the eye and as everyone else has pointed out NONE of this is your fault.

Yes I would charge them!

as to the child being sick - have they had him checked for lactose intolerance? Have they consulted a professional.... silly of them to wean a 5 month old of milk without proper advice:mad:

crazybones
17-10-2008, 03:20 PM
Hun I think you need to write them a letter (if you want help drafting one give me a pm) especially as they are not answering your calls.

There is definately more to this than meets the eye and as everyone else has pointed out NONE of this is your fault.

Yes I would charge them!

as to the child being sick - have they had him checked for lactose intolerance? Have they consulted a professional.... silly of them to wean a 5 month old of milk without proper advice:mad:

Both of my eldest 2 boys were diagnosed with lactose intolerance at 6 and 4 months old. They were on Soya milk/products until 18months for the 1st and 6 years for the second. It was diagnosed by doctors and I could get milk on prescription :thumbsup:

abba1772
17-10-2008, 03:23 PM
my son was like that too but my docs called me a overbearing mother as he also had bronchilitis as well so they never did any tests on him so i had to wean him onto food but he was well ready for it lol

but suggested they should check with their healthvisitor but again i got ignored x x

marian
17-10-2008, 03:24 PM
as to the child being sick - have they had him checked for lactose intolerance? Have they consulted a professional.... silly of them to wean a 5 month old of milk without proper advice:mad:

I agree it could be something simple like reflux - Dr's will prescribe a bit of gaviscon or may prescribe some thickner to add to the feed
either way he needs to be checked over by a proffessional
Marian x

Andrea08
17-10-2008, 03:42 PM
They cant terminate contract by text message. It must be written. How long have you had the baby for?

also i would have a complaints record form ready and tell them to fill it in and sign it with written notice or payment in lue

i wish you luck

wendywu
17-10-2008, 05:15 PM
Front them, tell them outright that you know they have set this whole thing up to get out of paying you 4 weeks notice. Tell them that it will not work and you have already informed ofsted of the situation.

A baby missing breakfast is no big deal. I would never force a baby to eat any meal that they really did not want. They may be feeling ill.

Let them know that you are onto them.

abba1772
17-10-2008, 07:09 PM
A baby missing breakfast is no big deal. I would never force a baby to eat any meal that they really did not want. They may be feeling ill. i didn't force him hun i asked his dad twice if he needed to be fed his breakfast and twice he told me no but then changed his story today to say he told me yes

Let them know that you are onto them.

spoke to legal and they say i am within my rights to terminate contract if they don't by next week and claim my money owed to me.

thanks very much girls if it weren't for you i would still be crying x x x

wendywu
17-10-2008, 10:59 PM
No what i was trying to say was that it has happened in my setting before that a baby has not had a meal because it has been refused. I know that if i had insisted and the little one was feeling under the weather then they can sick the whole lot back on me.

So my point is missing one meal can happen and is not a reason for the parent to get so up tight and cancel the contract. But as i said this was a well thought out plan.:panic:

Rubybubbles
18-10-2008, 07:34 AM
spoke to legal and they say i am within my rights to terminate contract if they don't by next week and claim my money owed to me.

thanks very much girls if it weren't for you i would still be crying x x x

hope you feeling a bit better today hun xx

Pipsqueak
18-10-2008, 07:40 AM
spoke to legal and they say i am within my rights to terminate contract if they don't by next week and claim my money owed to me.

thanks very much girls if it weren't for you i would still be crying x x x

You are allowed a little cry - a bit of self-indulgence and then us lot will lift you right out of it!!!!:)

Glad NCMA have given some good solid advice xx

aly
18-10-2008, 09:56 AM
It sounds like you are well out of this hun. they seem like they could be trouble for you.

Good luck
x
aly

Schnakes
18-10-2008, 10:40 AM
Nightmare parents, by the sounds of it!! What were they like before this whole fiasco?

Sx

abba1772
18-10-2008, 03:41 PM
Nightmare parents, by the sounds of it!! What were they like before this whole fiasco?

Sx

they seems really nice but thats me thinking the best everyone, think i need to take the rose tint glasses off lol

feeling better now x x x

miss muffit
18-10-2008, 04:56 PM
Parents are alway nice until there is a hicup what ever it might be,

I had a parent report me to ofsted saying i had let her down with her childcare....

I wanted to go see my Dad who lived 250 miles away and was in hospital, 3 days before he sadly passed away.....sorry but i trust NO ONE

i took my rose tinted glasses off on that very day!!!

abba1772
18-10-2008, 05:27 PM
thats awful what did ofsted say, ou're entitled to have emergency days off too after all we are human too

PixiePetal
18-10-2008, 07:49 PM
Thats awful. When my mother in law and my dad died within 3 weeks of each other, two years ago - the families were fantastic. MIL died of cancer, at half term when I was not working. Then quick dash to visit dad with my sister,120 miles away. Funeral for MIL near home then next day, back to see dad for last time, he died the following week. Another trip for funeral and nothing but love and support fom mindees families.

Some are real gems,

Jen

wendywu
18-10-2008, 09:53 PM
I must admit that my families have been great about my Dad passing away. But it was a strain i was on tender hooks for 4 weeks. Thinking am i going to get the phone call to come now quick as he is just about to go. A childminder cannot just say to a boss im off bye. :panic:

I had so many back up plans for whatever time of day he was going to pass away. School drop off or school pick up time. It was a nightmare as some parents dont even drive so i could not ship mindees too far away.

Then bless him he passed away on a Saturday which meant i could put myself and my family first and not worry about mindees.

My parents were great some even insisted that they paid me for the day of the funeral which i was not entitled to.

PixiePetal
18-10-2008, 10:28 PM
I got paid too, even though not entitled.

I was annoyed with my sons supply teacher though. When he said he thought maybe Grandad had died as I had got a message to him to go home with a friend of mine, she said 'oh no, I expect the car isn't working'.....I don't even drive. I complained to the school. They knew the situation and supply teacher obviously had not been told.

Jen

wendywu
18-10-2008, 10:33 PM
Oh Jen that was a really silly thing for a teacher to say. You must always go on the side of caution with children.:(

Monkey1
19-10-2008, 08:04 AM
Sorry hun only just catching up. Hope your feeling better. I agree with Annie that they were looking for cover for 12 weeks cause of Maternity pay. Your better off without users like that

abba1772
19-10-2008, 02:54 PM
Sorry hun only just catching up. Hope your feeling better. I agree with Annie that they were looking for cover for 12 weeks cause of Maternity pay. Your better off without users like that

how does the maternity thing work, sorry i've never received maternity pay with my 2 kids

crazybones
19-10-2008, 02:57 PM
how does the maternity thing work, sorry i've never received maternity pay with my 2 kids

Basically you have to go back to work for 12 weeks before leaving to avoid paying back maternity pay. I did it after my first son but was honest and upfront with work that that was what I was going to do allowing them 3 months to replace me.

abba1772
19-10-2008, 02:58 PM
she's isn't leaving they can't afford to dad has lost one of the 2 jobs she holds

crazybones
19-10-2008, 03:00 PM
she's isn't leaving they can't afford to dad has lost one of the 2 jobs she holds

Oh well bang goes that theory then. :rolleyes:

Have you had any further contact?

abba1772
19-10-2008, 03:03 PM
no contact at all i'm not wasting my time chasing them.

Pipsqueak has kindly rough drafted me a termination letter so will be posting it tomorrow recorded delivery with a copy going into the child's file with the receipt. also logged what has happened in my incident book.

do i have to fill out a complaint form as i have received nothing except this phone call from the dad?

Bevbeetle
19-10-2008, 03:31 PM
sorry some parents are a nitemare :angry:
thought i would share this story with you, i had been looking after a baby for about 8months and she was naggy not crying just naggy, another child i look after (aged 3) said i dont think you have given her bottle today :panic: and yes she was right 3 hrs late the parents laughed saying maybe they should leave baby with mindee i felt awlful but we all laughed:clapping: