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katie0183
30-09-2008, 01:28 PM
I really hate to give in, im a stubborn cow and sometimes am too stubborn.

I have this little boy who's 5 whom i look after and to be perfectly blunt hes horrible.

He's just moved to the area, just started a new school and is quite literally the child from hell. Schools only been open 4 weeks and he's already been moved classes because of his behavior.

Now i look after him 7-9am and on a Saturday 7am-1pm and now will also look after him in the holidays 7am-1pm. and i dont think i can do it.

I cant praise him to promote positive behavior because nothing and i mean nothing he can do is good behavior.

He's been registered for senco to see if he has special needs, although he is highly intelligent and way ahead of my daughter who is the same age.

to gie you an idea of how bad he is heres a list of just some of the things he's done or does...

Kicked Amy (my daughter) in face
Chases dogs
Teases other mindee
Doesn’t listen to what you say
If amy sits at the table next to him he kicks her
Jumps all over furniture
Pushed Amy into trampoline pole twice on purpose
When told to hold hand for being naughty went to run away
Kicked me when trying to put on shoes
When holding hand tries to get loose and yanks arm
Nearly pushed amy into the road
Kicks the dogs
Generally rude
Pulls faces and makes stupid noises in your face
Doesn’t do as he’s told.

I try to manage his behavior by time out, but thats not stopping the behavior, it controls it as in he sits on the floor for 10 minutes but not that he thinks hold on a minute i wont do it. He does these things everyday and i dont think i can take it much longer, anyone have any ideas? I dont want to give in if i dont have to if i can find a positive way to manage this behavior...

Thankyou!

Katie

katie0183
30-09-2008, 01:30 PM
oh and ridiculously i tell his mum and she does nothing...

the other day i was telling her how bad he was subtly while he and Amy were playing and she told him off but in the same sentence said how great it was going karting the next day. so i dunno!

annepowell
30-09-2008, 01:37 PM
Sorry to hear your having a rough time!

If I read your post right he kicks the dog(s)?

I think for your peace of mind you will have to keep him away from your dogs as kicking them may provoke them to have a go at or bite him. Then i'm sure child, parent, ofsted and all and sundry would blame you.

I was in the same situation with a little boy, told Mum that attacking my dog was unaceptable and said if he did it again would terminate contract straight away with immeadiate effect as this boy endangering himself, me and others.

Guess what he did the next day... yes, so I ended the contract.

I'm not anti dog - dog's are a positive feature of childminding, especially for those children that can't or don't have pets at home. I'ts not fair for the dog to be locked away, but this boy should not be allowed to behave like he is!

You also have to consider your own and other minded children. For your daughter to be attacked in her own home is not really on is it?

You sound like you've already made up your mind? You have to be able to work with this child and family and keep your sanity!

Anne

Pedagog
30-09-2008, 01:40 PM
Sounds like a combination of a child with issues and a poor mother.

katie0183
30-09-2008, 01:43 PM
Already implemented no dogs around him now... but it is cruel on my dogs and so so cruel on my daughter. Even though there not in the same class there in the same year and a few weeks ago he started trying to bully her at school. I must admit i nipped it in the bid straight away and it hasnt happenned since.. however she puts up with enough of it at school she doesnt want it at home as well

jfbsdb
30-09-2008, 01:45 PM
Oh my word Katie, it makes my own "challenging" 5 year old mindee seem like a positive angel!!

I am working with the parent to find ways of working together to manage the naughty behaviour which is going on at the moment but I'm not sure by the sounds of it you will have much help from this parent?!

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Jean x

Mrs.L.C
30-09-2008, 01:51 PM
You poor thing. sounds like my day yesterday but luckily its rare here.


You said he was bright. Maybe hes bored at school (meaning the work is too easy for him)which is why he plays up there, gets moved about and then thinks its going to be the same with you. Obviously your own and family needs need to come first but if you were willing to give it ago maybe you could sit him down to see what he likes, have a look in the argos book or online to see if theres anything that may interest him or maybe give him some responsibility for something like feeding the dog, brushing the dog etc...this might (and is only a big might) make him care for the dog more rather than trying to get a negative reaction from him, or maybe let him help cook tea, help with reading with your own daughter, get him to think of an activity you could all do together etc

Also sounds like there maybe some issues at home but not a lot you can do regarding that unless you think its a child protection issue apart from continueing to work with the parents

Iv got a hyper lad after school and letting him run about the school play ground or local playing fields for 20 mins seems to help

I hope you get it sorted

katie0183
30-09-2008, 02:02 PM
he's very intelligent, and i dont think it's bored... its just general horridness (i know thats not a word)

He doesnt care about being good, if that makes sense.

I do time out with him because its the only thing that works to stop the behavior, warning are to no effect and without being too crude he doesnt give a **** about anyone or anything. Some of the things he does are just darn right outrageous and he doesnt care. Academically he's intelligent but he wouldnt sit down and do anything with me and in any case not being a crap childminder but i have to get everyone ready for the school run too! Parents at school have come up to me and slagged him off to me! (ive had to explain im not his mum as some are so angry with what he's done i felt like they were going to shout at me!) i dont need to hear its really none of my business... i think his mum just thinks he's just being a boy and doenst take it serious. his mum is very nice but obviously doesnt tell him off at all. he has absolutely no respect for anyone.

Am a painting a lovely picture of this child.

Oh and ironically went to childminding group today and spoke to a few people for advice... and i didnt give his name and they all knew who i was talking about because they've heard from other parents about him! no one else will have him in the entire area!

essexgirl1967
30-09-2008, 02:44 PM
Hi!
I really sympathise as up until June this year I was looking after a full time mindee with exactly the same problems as you. i was determined not to give in as I felt she really needed some stability and not another person to simply 'give up' on her.

However, the effect she had on my own children simply became too much, my DS who's 3 was having nightmares about her hiding in the wardrobe. She had told him she would 'get' him when he was sleeping as he had told on her, so I gave her notice but felt like I was at fault not being able to cope.

The mum found it very difficult to find a new childminder as most local childminders recognised the name from hearing me call after her at various toddler groups, and were very wary about taking her on. Mum felt that P was fine, and that everyone else was at fault.

Her new childminder gave notice to her today after 3 months saying that she was too disruptive and a bad influence on the other minded children. I now feel that I did the right thing for my own children in giving notice, despite the fact that its taken me until now to fill her place.

Hope this helps you make up your mind what to do x

Ripeberry
30-09-2008, 04:07 PM
God how awfull! Sorry but there is NO WAY i would carry on minding a child like that. He has shown himself to be a total danger to yourself, your children and what about the other mindees do the parents know that this boy is so violent? If i was another parent i would take my child out straight away!
As for your dogs, he's pushing his luck. What if your dogs bite him, they may be labelled as dangerous dogs and be put down.
You need to give this mum notice, you have other children to think of!
We have a child at our pre-school who is quite a handfull, he is quite "passive aggresive" and you think "oh what a sweet looking child" but then he turns into a demon and kicks others, even the playleaders and screams at the top of his voice, never does what anyone tells him.
We have a SN helper at the pre-school for another child and half the time she steps in and has to hold him (like a baby) until he calms down and then she praises him for calming down.
The mum does nothing to chastice him at all, but you can see that he has her wound round his little finger. She took over 15 mins to get away from the pre-school one morning because he was having tantrums and he would let her get about 200yds away and then start screaming.
He is very intelligent but nasty with it...our pre-school playleader has never come accross such a child, he is just over 4yrs old, but he will be in my DD2's class at primary. Oh ****!:eek:

Ripeberry
30-09-2008, 04:11 PM
Essexgirl, that's just the point isn't it? The parents do not see their childs' behaviour as a problem. No wonder the kids turn out like they do.
I firmly believe in Nurture not nature and really that child might be better off in a nursery type enviroment, because they are going to have a HUGE shock when they start school.

balloon
30-09-2008, 06:50 PM
He's just moved to the area, just started a new school and is quite literally the child from hell. Schools only been open 4 weeks and he's already been moved classes because of his behavior.

...

He's been registered for senco to see if he has special needs, although he is highly intelligent and way ahead of my daughter who is the same age.


Obviously you're first priority is your own family and their safety, but is there any chance he's on the autistic spectrum or has ODD? One or two things you have written ring a few bells, not that I am an expert or anything like that but its not always as simple as the nature Vs nurture debate...
(no offence meant to previous poster)

I do think you need to think of the safety of everybody though and terminating his contract may be the only thing you can do in the end, but would it be worth trying to have a chat with the SENCO first just in case they could help at all?

Pedagog
30-09-2008, 06:58 PM
Have to agree he does sound like my son who is autistic.