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View Full Version : Help with a mindee problem please!



littlesprogs
26-09-2008, 08:37 AM
I look after a 7 year old boy before and after school everyday and hes a lovely kid very polite has fantastic manners and i love looking after him but i have a problem!

a few weeks ago he was looking at my husbands xbox games and he noticed he has call of duty and he said 'my mum wont let me play on that coz she said i'll turn into a murderer coz i'm too young for it!' and i thought good on her a mum with common sense for a change!

But on the way to school today he told me that he plays on it at his friends house apparently it is his friends dads game but he lets his son play on it (i dont know if he knows that his son is letting his friends on it too). So do i tell his mum that hes been planning on it at his friends house or keep it to myself because its none of my business. And if i do tell her do i tell her in front of mindee or write to her or what??

I feel that she should know that her little boy is planning these games at his friends house but is it really my business?

for those of you that dont know call of duty is a 18+ shooting game!

HFC
26-09-2008, 08:44 AM
I look after a 7 year old boy before and after school everyday and hes a lovely kid very polite has fantastic manners and i love looking after him but i have a problem!

a few weeks ago he was looking at my husbands xbox games and he noticed he has call of duty and he said 'my mum wont let me play on that coz she said i'll turn into a murderer coz i'm too young for it!' and i thought good on her a mum with common sense for a change!

But on the way to school today he told me that he plays on it at his friends house apparently it is his friends dads game but he lets his son play on it (i dont know if he knows that his son is letting his friends on it too). So do i tell his mum that hes been planning on it at his friends house or keep it to myself because its none of my business. And if i do tell her do i tell her in front of mindee or write to her or what??

I feel that she should know that her little boy is planning these games at his friends house but is it really my business?

for those of you that dont know call of duty is a 18+ shooting game!

I would tell her. Take her aside for a minute and tell her what he told you - just say that you know he isn't allowed to play it and you thought she should know - what she does then is up to her.

I had a similar problem with my own 10 year old playing GTA at his friends house. It annoys me that parents dont think about these things. We have a couple of games that are rated 15 although I cant see anything in them that my older kids (12 and 13) cant cope with but if their friends are over they are not allowed to play them unless I have spoken to the parents first.

Paula J
26-09-2008, 08:47 AM
I agree I would tell mum too I have an 8 year old and would want to know if he was playing on games like that. I feel it is your business you care about the little boy and that shows because you are concerned about this :) Paula

mum22
26-09-2008, 09:11 AM
I would take her aside and mention what has been said, you dont have proof just a conversation with the boy, put yourself in her shoes I would want to know. She can then speak to her son and if it is correct speak to the very silly parent allowing a child to play 18 games.

littlesprogs
26-09-2008, 09:15 AM
the thing is i cant really take her aside because when she collects him she brings her bike and so just stays in my porch and then when the doorbell goes A knows it is his mum and runs to the door and then puts his shoes etc on in the porch where mum is stood.

I might be able to look out for her and then try and get to the door before she rings the doorbell! hmmm.

angeldelight
26-09-2008, 09:20 AM
Hubby has this game - I would not be happy if a 7 year old were to play it

I would be honest with the little boy and explain that you are going to have to tell his mom just explain that he is not in trouble but that his mom needs to know because he should not be playing it
Just have a chat with him in a nice way

Thats what I would do with the 8 year old I mind anyway whenever he tells me something that I think his mom should know I explain that I will have to tell her - I dont think its nice to go behind his back

Then I would have a quick word with mom at the door
Just say you know its none of your buisness but you were a little concerned
You say he is not allowed to play it at home - so I think mom will be happy that you have told her

Then it is up to the parent what she wants to do about it

Angel xx

mum22
26-09-2008, 09:20 AM
the thing is i cant really take her aside because when she collects him she brings her bike and so just stays in my porch and then when the doorbell goes A knows it is his mum and runs to the door and then puts his shoes etc on in the porch where mum is stood.

I might be able to look out for her and then try and get to the door before she rings the doorbell! hmmm.


Can you just say you will give her a ring later and if little ears are listening just say routine childminding stuff ?

Mollymop
26-09-2008, 09:25 AM
Yes I would definatley have a word with mum, you don't have to make a big deal out of it, just mention that he told you that he plays Call of Duty at his friends house and thought you had better let her know.

littlesprogs
26-09-2008, 09:28 AM
Can you just say you will give her a ring later and if little ears are listening just say routine childminding stuff ?

yes thats a good idea! thank you.

Angel i have seen my husband play the game and i have already told him not to play it in front of jayden when he gets abit older. I wouldn't allow a 7 year old to play it either.

when he was talking about it on the way to school i said to him 'your mum doesnt like you playing those games' and he said 'yea but i was at friends house' so i said 'your mum still wont like you playing them.' then he back tracked and said 'well i wasnt actually playing it i was just watching my friend play it.' so he obviously doesnt want me to tell his mum but i would say that watching it is just as bad as playing it!

I also know his friends mum (not to talk to i just know her from doing the school run) but she doesnt seem the kind of parent that would let him play these games

angeldelight
26-09-2008, 10:08 AM
Angel i have seen my husband play the game and i have already told him not to play it in front of jayden when he gets abit older. I wouldn't allow a 7 year old to play it either.




Yeah I never thought for one moment that your hubby would play in front of him
The 8 year old I mind is always looking through hubbys games too - his mom does not allow him to play them but a lot of his friends are allowed

Not sure if the little boy talks to you much - but mine does so I like to be honest with him
If I went and told his mom something behind his back and he got into trouble I would feel awful so I always tell him if im going to say something

Thats the type of thing the 8 year old would do with me too - he would back track and say he was only watching haha

You would actually be suprised how many young children do play these games and watch dvds that are for over 18s
It amazes me !

Good luck with parent

Angel xx

littlesprogs
26-09-2008, 10:13 AM
he doesnt talk to me much no but he doesnt know me very well i've only been minding him a few weeks. He was friends with my nephew though. When he does initiate conversation he is normally asking questions about my nephew or Jayden. I dont think he would get into trouble as such but she might just have a word with his friends mum.

I'll let you all know how it goes when she collects him at 5

kindredspirits
26-09-2008, 11:26 AM
good luck, i would definately be having a word with mum - possibly over the phone, and perhaps explain that you don't want the boy to feel he can't talk to you, so if she can be suble with her actions it would be better for you and his relationship!

annax

sarah707
26-09-2008, 11:36 AM
I agree mum needs to know...

I think...

The only thing holding me back is that you are breaking the child's confidence.

This might mean he becomes very guarded telling you things in the future...

If for example he has a problem at school, he might not share it with you, knowing in all likelihood you will go straight to his mum.

Or if someone is hurting him and he needs to speak to you about it in confidence, he might not as he doesn't trust you any more.

Just something to bear in mind.

Heaven Scent
26-09-2008, 11:42 AM
So that it doesn't damage your relationship with him and so that he doesn't feel that he can't speak to you about things that bother him or if he should ever need to disclose anything more serious, I would ask mum to ask him leading questions to get him to tell her himself or something like that but she does need to know and I also think she should be grateful to you for enlightening her and keep you out of it.

Heaven Scent
26-09-2008, 11:44 AM
Gosh Sarah you were thinking the same as me but I took ages to write it as I'm watching Loose women.

Rubybubbles
26-09-2008, 12:15 PM
I agree mum needs to know...

I think...

The only thing holding me back is that you are breaking the child's confidence.

This might mean he becomes very guarded telling you things in the future...

If for example he has a problem at school, he might not share it with you, knowing in all likelihood you will go straight to his mum.

Or if someone is hurting him and he needs to speak to you about it in confidence, he might not as he doesn't trust you any more.

Just something to bear in mind.

I agree sarah BUT he has already said he's not aloud to play it. I would want to know if it was 6 yr old going to childminder tbh

Just explain to him, your going to need to tell his mum, your not cross, in fact it's really nice he can talk to you about it. Shall we have a look for games that you could play? ect ect

But I do feel the parent needs to know, maybe do a letter up if can't talk, and put phone me if you need to know anything else ect!

I wrote a letter yesterday about my 8 yr old mindie as he was in tears (over tired) and we had a good chat about loads of things on his mind, and I said to him I will share this with his mum because maybe she's not realised just how much things are getting to you, then last night I got a phone call from the mum saying a big thankyou, her a J had a really good chat and a cry and it's really helped :clapping:

ajs
26-09-2008, 12:24 PM
why don't you ask him to tell mum louise, you could say to him that you're not happy that he plays with it at his friends and that he ought to tell his mum or would he prefer you to, that way you're not breaking his confidence and perhaps putting the responsibility back onto him could be a good thing for him to realise it's wrong to go behind mum's back

my 13 year old daughter asked for a dvd on saturday, it was an 18 and i said no way, she said she'd seen it before at her friend's house and that it was only a few murders no sex or nothing:eek: oh that makes it so much better then

btw i still said no

littlesprogs
26-09-2008, 02:33 PM
Well i didnt get to speak to mindee about it because when i got to school his mum was already there (she'd finished work early but when she rang i'd already left) so i just told her what he'd said and she just said thanks for telling her and she appreciated it so now its up to her what she does.