View Full Version : Bonding problems

16-09-2008, 07:04 PM
I dont know whether it is appropriate to discuss this on here but am feeling very isolated at moment and am desperate to seek others advice and opinions.

I am currently minding a 14mth old and have done so for the last 6 mths. Over the last 4 weeks or so I have noticed a definite difference in our connection. The child, who I'll call Z, initially settled very well into the setting. Was very happy amongst others and seemingly outgoing. Everyone commented on how good Z was. However more recently Z seems quite withdrawn from all at the setting including me. Z seems extremely sensitive. If a peer squeals in excitement Z will run towards me in a distressed manner, pinching and pulling at me. Nap times are a nightmare thus leaving a very tired and ratty Z. This has a negative effect on the whole household. Z is very submissive and surrenders anything to another child without a fuss. I have no concerns about Z's welfare at home and indeed comes from a very happy home. There is a different language spoken at home and I do wonder whether with increasing age Z is more aware of this and is perhaps struggling in my setting?

Z is with me for half a day every day so time really shouldn't be a problem.

I am trying my best to include and spend quality time with Z but all efforts fall on a very non-expressive face and Z will just wander off by self to do own activity.

It is very frustrating on my part as I do of course want all at my setting to be happy. Z is always quite happy when dropped off - no tears or upset.

This is making our bonding very hard at the moment and I am beginning to feel disconnected from her and am struggling to pull it back together.

Has anyone else ever experienced this. Have I waffled too much to make sense?

17-09-2008, 09:12 AM
If you truely feel that the problem is a language issue i would look at makaton/baby signing for the whole setting...it can make a world of difference.:)

Paula J
17-09-2008, 09:21 AM
Do you know any of his home language? It may help to ask parents for key words like tired, hungry, thirsty, dirty nappy etc Z maybe getting confused and as a result upset. I use makaton only the basics I also have a book with pictures of everyday things in it no words it has a dummy, bottle, bed, pop, different toys etc I use this when frustarted toddlers are trying to tell me what they want but dont have the language skills, they show me :) Paula