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essexgirl1967
15-09-2008, 12:53 PM
Hi everyone!

I have a parent whose 2 older children have been coming to me before/after school for a few months term time only as mum is at uni. Apparently she receives a bursary to pay her childcare costs whilst she is studying.

When the new school term started 2 weeks ago, her youngest child started with me, she is only at part time school until Xmas so her childminding fees have increased considerably, although she was previously at a private day nursery which wasn't exactly cheap.

The mum showed me a letter this morning stating that her bursary has been stopped as they seem to think she has withdrawn from uni. She assures me that this is not the case, and that it will be put right but doesn't know how long it will take to sort out. Therefore she cannot pay me until it is sorted! I calmly stated that I am a business and cannot look after 3 children Mon-Fri without knowing when I am going to be paid.

She suggested that they only come to me a couple of days a week to keep costs down until she gets this sorted and then they will return to normal hours. I said that I had a waiting list for after school places ( partly true!) and that if she cut down her days I would have to give them to someone else as I cannot be without an income.

I think she thought I was being deliberately awkward. However, the mum is not the most reliable at paying and I have a feeling if I bend the rules now and only charge her for days she uses then I will be stuck with this system in the future. They are not the easiest children to look after boys age 10 & 8, girl age 4 so she will definitely have a problem finding alternative childcare.

I do rely on this money but am unwilling to back down on contracted days etc as I think I will come to regret it when she messes me about in the future. Have said I can wait for this weeks money til end of next week but after that I would have to withdraw care until payments are up to date.

Does this seem fair to you all? My mum thinks I should be more understanding and flexible, but my DH ( who knows her) thinks I should stick to my guns as she will take advantage wherever she can. Hope this made some sense! Thanks x

Rubybubbles
15-09-2008, 12:56 PM
I am agreeing with your other half tbh you have been flexible but you said yorself, it is a business. what happens if the payment doesn't come??

Bushpig
15-09-2008, 12:58 PM
Stick to your guns! You have your own bills to pay... how does she expect you to buy the food to feed her kids if she doesn't pay you? :panic:

I hope she can sort out the bursary problem asap. In the meanwhile you do have to think of yourself too. As you say, your hubby knows what's she's like and his advice is more educated than your mums in this instance.

LOOPYLISA
15-09-2008, 01:01 PM
I think your doing the right thing, you need paying like everyone else hun x:thumbsup:

littlesprogs
15-09-2008, 01:04 PM
It depends on how much you want to keep her. Remember the 2 boys arent included in your numbers so if she went to another childminder she would only need to find someone with a place for the 4 year old iyswim.

If it were me i would be abit more leniant purely because i am going to uni next year and would hope that if it happened to me my childminder would be understanding.

Although you are a business and expect to be paid you have to understand that she cant give you what she doesnt have so if you dont be a little bit leniant with her then you will probably lose her.

Wendy Woo
15-09-2008, 01:15 PM
fully agree with gettin ur money but im sure i read in another thread that u cant actuall stop care just like that even if they hsavent paid due to the fact that they can sue u!!!!!

im sure it is somethin that sarah nev posted it syas that u need to give notice and keep workin thro that without pay if nessecary and then if its over £150 they owe u can go claims court.

ill see if ni can find post i think that is ncma rules

Chatterbox Childcare
15-09-2008, 01:18 PM
Remember that there is a contract in place and you don't want to be in breach of it.

Speak to the legal line of your insurance company and see where you stand.

I would call a meeting with mum and discuss what she can pay you in the interim and put it in writing and then if she doesn't get it sorted you can take her to the small claims court

Paula J
15-09-2008, 01:21 PM
I have had three uni-students two of which were studying to be nurses for some reason they always seem to mess things up at the Bursary end for second year students. However in fairness they sorted it out quickly and my mums paid every penny they owed. I know it is difficult working and worrying you wont get paid but there are alot of students and alot of Bursary payment to be sorted. I never had any problems after September with any of mine.

I did get them to sign a copy of their unpaid bill stating the reason and a promise to pay either by Bursary or out of their own pocket so I had a come back if I didnt get paid

It is hard but if she hasnt had her money she cant pay you :o Paula

Pipsqueak
15-09-2008, 02:25 PM
Its a hard position for you both to be in.

Could you offer to have the children for xxx amount of days and at teh end of that period you will have to review the situation if the bursary has not been sorted out.
That gives the mum some relief knowing her children will be cared and she can go to the uni and say that she has xxx days to get something sorted - even a confirmation letter from them saying it has been sorted and money will be fothcoming.

Hope it gets sorted. xx

angeldelight
15-09-2008, 02:30 PM
You need to read this thread that Sarah posted earlier if you are thinking of stopping childcare?

http://childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/showthread.php?t=16091


I think its a difficult one to be honest and where do you draw the line

If she showed you the letter she is obviously not making it up is she ?

I have had the same sort of thing happen in the past - one parent ended up paying another did not

Knowing me I would give her 2 weeks to sort it out - but thats me all over
Then I would come moaning to you lot if I did not get paid haha

Good luck whatever you decide to do

Angel xx

singlewiththree
15-09-2008, 04:03 PM
I would stick to your guns. Childcare comes first! I'm currently using a childminder and ALWAYS pay her before anything else. I doubt she is completely pennyless. It sounds perfectly fair to me

Paula

Mrs.L.C
15-09-2008, 04:20 PM
Difficult. Its hard to give the benefit of the doubt if they havnt been reliable in the past. Could you not contact the Uni/college to see whats happenening? I have done this (obv you will have to speak to parent for consent). The parent was ok for me to contact the college as I told her I understand where she was coming from but I need the college to know its my income at the end of the day and that I rely on it to live.

essexgirl1967
16-09-2008, 12:48 PM
Hi everyone, firstly thanks for all the replies, helped make me feel a bit better that others could understand my worries about being possibly messed about by this mum. If this had been a mum who had always paid on time, never quibbled on bills, arrived on time for settling in sessions etc, then I would probably have been very understanding and laid back about the whole thing, but unfortunately it is not so!

Anyway, the mum has contacted the bursary place who have in turn contacted the uni to try and sort it out. Got no idea how long this is likely to take.

Have worked out our finances this month and can afford to take reduced hours for a few weeks or to delay payment for a week or so if that helps the mum. Therefore I am being flexible even tho past dealings with this mum lead me to think I'll regret it if that makes sense.

Mum also stressed on collecting children last night that she doesn't want me to fill their places with other children so for the time being I am having them every day but not totally sure when/if I will get paid. Hope I'm doing the right thing..... thanks again for the advice x

angeldelight
17-09-2008, 07:00 AM
Hi everyone, firstly thanks for all the replies, helped make me feel a bit better that others could understand my worries about being possibly messed about by this mum. If this had been a mum who had always paid on time, never quibbled on bills, arrived on time for settling in sessions etc, then I would probably have been very understanding and laid back about the whole thing, but unfortunately it is not so!

Anyway, the mum has contacted the bursary place who have in turn contacted the uni to try and sort it out. Got no idea how long this is likely to take.

Have worked out our finances this month and can afford to take reduced hours for a few weeks or to delay payment for a week or so if that helps the mum. Therefore I am being flexible even tho past dealings with this mum lead me to think I'll regret it if that makes sense.

Mum also stressed on collecting children last night that she doesn't want me to fill their places with other children so for the time being I am having them every day but not totally sure when/if I will get paid. Hope I'm doing the right thing..... thanks again for the advice x


I would more or less have done the same to be honest

Lets hope that she gets her money soon so she can pay you

I would not let it go on though for too long - that would be really taking advantage of you

Good luck keep us posted

Angel xx

Mrs.L.C
23-09-2008, 08:24 AM
m going through a similar thing myself atm. Mums a single parent and hasnt had her loan yet so money is tight so im having her child almost full time and feeding her and not knowing if/when il get paid. Im sure I will. I havnt had problems yet from this parent so lucky there but trying to get info from the LEA regarding payments to me is a nightmare and money is tight for us aswell but its very unlikely il get enquiries over the next month as its so quiet around here

Fingers crossed it all sorted soon

angeldelight
23-09-2008, 08:28 AM
Hope you get paid soon Laura

Angel xx

HFC
23-09-2008, 10:07 AM
I think you have to go with your gut instinct on this one.

If you believe the mums story then you should give her time to sort it out but stress to her how much time you can hold the places for. She will be pretty stressed herself and I am sure she will be grateful for a bit of leeway. A month should be enough for the Bursary people to sort it out, even if she could show you a letter from the bursary or Uni proving her story is true.

If you think she is at it and dont believe her story then you should stick to your guns (as difficult as it is) as she will continue to muck you around in the future.

Good luck

essexgirl1967
23-09-2008, 11:05 AM
Just a bit of an update, I got paid in cash last Friday, which was good although the money was actually due on the Monday as I charge for the week in advance. This weeks money was due yesterday but will hopefully get it by the end of the week. Apparently the bursary is not sorted but she seems quite confident that it will be soon. The mum seems to have got the message that if she wants to only pay on an 'as and when' basis, as she asked last week, then I will have to let the places go to other children. Luckily for me at the moment, the 2 other childminders in our area specifically do not want any after schoolers, so for the first time in 10 years I actually have a waiting list!! The mum is doing a nursing degree and in the next few weeks starts a shift works placement. So although I have already been ultra clear about my working hours, I need to be very firm and businesslike with the arrangement as I know she has a problem arranging evening/ overnight/weekend childcare for her 5 children ( the 3 that come to me & 2 older teenagers) and I really don't want her to 'expect' childcare at times when I don't normally work. Difficult to explain but she is quite a strong character and seems to not hear things she doesn't want to hear IYSWIM!!
Will keep you posted and good luck to anyone else chasing payments x

angeldelight
23-09-2008, 09:36 PM
Thats good that you got some money

Hope you get the rest soon

Angel xx

Rubybubbles
23-09-2008, 09:39 PM
hope this is the start of things going well:thumbsup: