Behaviour.

[louise]

Hi, Just after some advice, The last few weeks my mindee has started to play up more and more. He is 2 and 8 months. He is refusing to listen to me. If i ask him to pull trousers up 'i can't' If i ask him to come to me he just carries on. Today he has kicked the puppy several times(not hard luckily). Picked up the cat or tried to so he can then take it to the puppy so they can fight. When walking from childminder group he decided to step in every puddle going even when holding my hand(he would streach out for one). He was trying to jump into the road when we waited to cross the road.

It is constant he never wants to do what i suggest anymore. If i get craft out he will do 1 thing then want to go, same with food.

When discussing it with mum yesterday she said he has always been like that with her. She has always said he is a pain for her. Today her partner picked him up. I mentioned how he was today and he said he is the same with him now. Oh he also screeches a lot aswell.

Now we were using time out step which has no effect he will happily walk to it and sit there. Its like he dosent care that he has to stop whatever he was doing. Mum has texted me to see what i suggest. I have said i will make a reward chart with him tom and see how that goes.

Thank you Louisex

[LOOPYLISA]

Are you sure your not looking after my neice this is exactly the same way she been with me the last couple of days, maybe its there age shes nearly 2, it does get through at times! x

[donnahay0]

I was going to suggest the reward chart - it works for some children but not others.

I had one little boy who used to get time out when he was "too challenging" one day he went off into the kitchen and sat by himself I asked him why he was there and he replied "I snatched a toy from C so I have come away because that's what I should do" - didn't really know what to say to that one.

Anyway, does it work if you tell him what you have planned for the day - something he really likes to do, but if he plays up then he won't be able to do it.

[Pipsqueak]

Its a bit of a backhanded compliment - the child is comfortable with you and is so trying it on with you in the same manner as he would with his parents.

Try the reward chart but in addition you and parents need to be doing exactly the same things

when he doesn't listen, lower your tone of voice, make sure you are giving very simple instruction (no pleading or chances) - if he still doesn't listen, go to him drop to his level and cup his face gently in your hands so you both make eye contact

the time out will work if you are consistent and make a great show of having a great time without him

remember he is still very young but he still needs to be learning the rules, try to ignore some of the ignorable behaviours such as puddle jumping - don't say a word and just change his socks when you get home without comment. Things like stepping into the road is not acceptable so give him the choice - either behave or you put reins on him (and do it)
Don't give him the attention he is wanting.
Make sure you "catch" him being good and lots of positive verbal praise - even for really simple things.

Its all very frustrating but he is just pushing the boundaries at the moment - a phase and its one battle you have to find a way to get the upper hand.

[louise]

I dont know if this makes any difference but he has seem to of got an imaginary friend, Well pet. 3 weeks ago he refused to hold my hand as he was holding lions. I let him carry on as it wasnt a busy road just to see what he done. He then held hes hand out as if he was holding hands. he feed the lion and stroked it only lasted a few mins. He done it a few more time last week. This week Lion was in my house for the first time. When i mentioned it to mum he brings lion up a lot at home. He hasnt been here today but was yesterday. He doesn't use it in away to blame or do naughty things its more to role play or he just say lions asleep in buggy.

I always tell him the big things planned for the day but i cant really stop them as my ds looks forward to them. I have removed a toy he has been playing with. He then gets upset and promises to be good boy

[Pipsqueak]

The thing with loss of privilages (removal of a toy) is that I think at this age (2yrs) they don't quite understand it and if you are going to do that then it needs to be put away for the rest of the day.

As for asking to do a craft (or other) then not wanting to do it - again carry on but make a big noise and show about how wonderful it it - he will eventually be curious enough to want to join in and then you just let him without any fuss. Don't give him to him wanting to control the situations.

Lots of kids have imaginary friends but I don't think its anything to do with him being a little pickle (even if he did blame Lion - again you can't let him get away with not taking responsibility).

Rather than tell him all thats planned for the day could you not just tell him whats planned for the morning and then at lunchtime whats planned for after lunch so he isn't beign overloaded with information.

[crazybones]

Errr are you talking about my son? Exactly the same age and think's he is the boss. I ignore most of it unless it causes a danger to him or anyone else - then I am in charge, no matter what the consequences, quietly, firmly but as Pip says when he does "good" stuff give lots of praise, hugs, smiles etc. I have to say this has worked with my son and this week I can count on one hand the "moments" we have had and 99% of the time he has been my gorgeous, lovely son.

[louise]

Its a bit of a backhanded compliment - the child is comfortable with you and is so trying it on with you in the same manner as he would with his parents.

I have noticed that he slowly get to how he is at home to how he is with me.I have had him for 21 months now.
Try the reward chart but in addition you and parents need to be doing exactly the same things. I will get them to.I know they done a potty training one. It never came to me as he has been really good here. I think ive only had 2 accidents.
when he doesn't listen, lower your tone of voice, make sure you are giving very simple instruction (no pleading or chances) - if he still doesn't listen, go to him drop to his level and cup his face gently in your hands so you both make eye contact

I do this and he just stares at me. My son was the opposite and would try and turn away.
the time out will work if you are consistent and make a great show of having a great time without him

remember he is still very young but he still needs to be learning the rules, try to ignore some of the ignorable behaviours such as puddle jumping - don't say a word and just change his socks when you get home without comment.

He has gone home with wet traininers cos of it. I have asked for some wellies to stay here during the week. I have him for 50 hours!

Things like stepping into the road is not acceptable so give him the choice - either behave or you put reins on him (and do it)

I will get the reins. He has always been a good walker and i don't need the buggy for short trips as he use to be so well behaved.
Don't give him the attention he is wanting.
Make sure you "catch" him being good and lots of positive verbal praise - even for really simple things.

Its all very frustrating but he is just pushing the boundaries at the moment - a phase and its one battle you have to find a way to get the upper hand.

Thank you Pipsqueak

[Pipsqueak]

You are welcome hun.
Keep going with the drop to his level and talk to him. Stay with it though , if he won't give you attention then he can go onto time out till he is ready to listen. He cannot be allowed to ignore instruction from you - he is disrespecting you and if you don't get a handle on it ... well I am sure you know.

Typical boy though - I will only listen when it suits me:rolleyes: :D

[Spangles]

I think Pipsqueeks advice is spot on.

I would also go well over the top with stickers, cuddles, smiles and praise for absolutely anything good for a while. Also make sure he hears you tell his mum about all the good things he's done too.

Could you do a small, mini theme for him about lions maybe? This might get his attention and take his mind off being naughty for a bit? Get some books, pictures, toys, run around pretending to be a lion, involve his imaginary lion in things. I don't know, just an idea!

Good luck, I'm sure it's just a phase - hope so!

[crazybones]

You are welcome hun.
Keep going with the drop to his level and talk to him. Stay with it though , if he won't give you attention then he can go onto time out till he is ready to listen. He cannot be allowed to ignore instruction from you - he is disrespecting you and if you don't get a handle on it ... well I am sure you know.

Typical boy though - I will only listen when it suits me:rolleyes: :D


For boy - substitute Male!

[Pipsqueak]

For boy - substitute Male!

oh yes:thumbsup: