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Julia
28-08-2008, 08:53 AM
Hi

Honestly, stupid parents, Ive been having a mindee for 7 weeks, hes a nightmare, he just stands there crying for 8 hours, he's here now, just crying, I have tried everything and I do mean everything to get him to play with the others, to get to trust me and to have a bit of fun, but he's just not having any of it.

I expressed my concerns to dad on Tuesday to say even though I thought it would be sending the child the wrong message to keep on swapping and changing his childcare (hes been to a nursery before and was taken out for this reason, he is passed from relitive to relitive on the days he's not with me) so although I was struggling, I thought it better to persavere. I also tried to get dad to understand that they were going to have to really encourage him to understand that I was going to be with me some of the week.

But guess what theyve decided....... Yes to try him in a different Nursery! The nursery he was in before refused to take him back so theyve found a different nursery who arnt aware of his behaviour.

I query autism with this child as i have had some experiance of this and by changing him again it is going to really harm him.

What a bunch of idiots some parents are, they have no idea how to deal with behaviouralal problems with their children, they would just rather brush it under the carpet and try to ignore it.

I just feel sorry for the Nursery;)

Pipsqueak
28-08-2008, 08:58 AM
Poor little lad - its him I feel sorry for. It must have been really hard going for you as well so well done for trying to keep going. It sounds like he just doesn't know where he is at (I don't have any knowledge or experience of autism so can't comment). if he is pushed from pillar to post.
Some parents just think the solution is to keep trying to find an alternative place.
Could you not request a meeting with both parents with no children present and tell them that you think this is not the solution - keep chopping and changing the child to different settings.
not sure what else to suggest but I hope this lad gets settled somewhere soon.

sarah707
28-08-2008, 09:02 AM
Poor little man :(

Hopefully school will pick up on something and parents will listen.

You've tried your best!

Julia
28-08-2008, 09:05 AM
Poor little lad - its him I feel sorry for. It must have been really hard going for you as well so well done for trying to keep going. It sounds like he just doesn't know where he is at (I don't have any knowledge or experience of autism so can't comment). if he is pushed from pillar to post.
Some parents just think the solution is to keep trying to find an alternative place.
Could you not request a meeting with both parents with no children present and tell them that you think this is not the solution - keep chopping and changing the child to different settings.
not sure what else to suggest but I hope this lad gets settled somewhere soon.

Thanks for the support :)

I did try to talk to mum this morning and did express my concerns, but she was more or less saying she was sure that the new nursey would have all the answers because more people would be caring for him, even though there will be twice as many children and I think that that is his problem Ive had 6-7 children in my house over the summer on the 2 days he comes to me and it has been hectic, next week ive only got 2 other children on the days hes with me.

At the end of the day its their choice, i can only advise, my advice has been ignored and thats fine, I think they are making a huge mistake and they will see that in a few weeks when the nursery turn around and say the same thing as me, but hey I wont have to deal with it anymore, and that feels great!:rolleyes:

Julia
28-08-2008, 09:10 AM
Poor little man :(

Hopefully school will pick up on something and parents will listen.

You've tried your best!

I do hope so, because I cared for a child that the parents queried his autism and asked if I could keep records of his behaviour (great practice for the Foundation phase) and after social services got involved when the little chap gave his sister a black eye, I could back up the parents with my evidence as well as theirs and he got a quick diagnosis.

He had problems settling and liked his routine and if we swayed off his routine, well lets put it this way I thought he broke my nose twice and had a few lovely bruises!:eek: :D

Ripeberry
28-08-2008, 09:15 AM
That poor child! No wonder he cries if he is moved around from pillar to post, if he is autistic it could explain the crying.
How does he manage it? Most kids would be exghausted!
You must have been a saint to be able to tolerate it.
Just hope they can find out why he is like that as it does sound extreme.

Wiggly
28-08-2008, 09:24 AM
I feel more sorry for the boy than the nursery. Being shoved from pillar to post is obviously having a huge effect on him and gonna get worse.

Well done you for trying so hard.

Wiggly
x

angeldelight
28-08-2008, 09:31 AM
I feel for the little boy

You have tried your best though and thats all you can do

Angel xx

LOOPYLISA
28-08-2008, 09:48 AM
Poor little man, my step son is autistic ive not experienced the crying part, but they DO love there routine, and like you say a small group, my ss was taken out of mainstream school partly because of this x

cloud9
28-08-2008, 10:47 AM
Unfortunately some parents dont want to believe there is anything wrong with there child so just brush it aside its a great shame when this happens because inevitably it is the child who later suffers

katickles
28-08-2008, 11:19 AM
Oh the poor little lad!

If the parents aren't listening to you - can't see them listening to the nursery either.

I had some parents like this - nightmare.

Like others have said though, you are trying your best.

I would try & get as many observations written down just in case they are needed futher down the line.

Good luck x

CCJD
28-08-2008, 12:34 PM
I can fully understand that some oparents like or need to save money and keep childcare costs to a minimum by using an assortment of friends or family but some children ( even those not autistc) just can't take this ever changing routine. I have a young boy who is with mum 3 days , me three days and a friend on the last day. It took him a long time to settle in but we got there in the end.I see though from my daily diary ( that the friend also uses) that 3 months on,he still won't settle to sleep with her- is rocked to sleep every day whilst crying and when he does eventually go down it's for half an hour rather than the two and a half with me. I am sure the friend is lovely - this child simply needs a more settled routine than 3 carers. Not much you can do though - hopefully parents will realize they should have followed your advice once nursery number 2 says they can't cope.