View Full Version : he keeps throwing things, please help...

21-08-2008, 12:05 PM
I think ive raised this one before, I mind a 17 month little boy and he has always thrown toys and from advice i ignored him and mum agreed to do the same but in the last couple of weeks its got worse, hes picked up the heaviest thing he could find which was a metal car and threw it at my daughter and hit her in the head.

Couldnt ignore it this time becase it wasnt an accident, he aimed for her so put him on time out, today he's done exactly the same thing, picked up a car and she was playing happily on the floor and he threw it at her narrowly missing her eye.

If he has a paddy about something you can see him looking for something to pick up and throw so normally try to get the toy before he does it and sit him on my lap until he calms down.

Told mum and she thinks its because they throw balls to each other at home but said hes doing it when hes angry not for fun.

Please can anyone help, Idont know what else to do. Its getting very dangerous now.

21-08-2008, 12:17 PM
As his language skills get better his aggresion should subside.Although he is young try to catch him before he gets to angry and see if you can get him to jump his aggresion out or somthing else physical to release his aggresion .Hopefully he will be talking well soon and be able to express himself

21-08-2008, 02:23 PM
I have one like this... my little screamer has turned into a trantrumming thrower :(

Unfortunately, it's a trajectory schema and not a lot we can do about it until he grows up a bit.

We give him soft balls for the garden but it doesn't stop him wanging toys everywhere and hitting his brother on the head with lego.

Advice here but it's slow to load today -


He's also taken to biting my ds... no idea why, he used to love playing with him, now he walks up to him and bites.

Sure it will pass :(

21-08-2008, 03:17 PM
I have one child who is a biter and hitter and another who screams and throws and these are just my children :rolleyes:

All I can say is with the biter and hiter I have to have eyes in the back of my head.

With the thrower I move everything from sight that is heavy and we have a complete no throwing rule in the house.

good luck

21-08-2008, 03:44 PM
I have a little boy who throws a lot not as much now (he's 2 next month) have had him for 4 months now start with would throw his food everywhere the whole plate, toys everywhere it seemed to be when he didn't like something, getting tired, frustrated, attention seeking.

Now its mainly when he's tired or can't do something still have to watch his food if i try a new food he doesn't like i have to get ready to stop him throwing it everywhere.
I just remove the item he's thrown not make a issue or i see the signs he's getting frustrated and help him ect. He is getting better.

He also hits my 2 year old grandson every time he arrives for no reason slap on the face they play together ok now but he never liked my grandson getting any of my attention (he's an only child) so i think thats where that comes from.


21-08-2008, 03:48 PM
My daughter throws things & it is mostly due to frustration. She is 17 months & i can see what she's about to do so its just a case of stopping her before she throws it.

It is also a confusion thing i think because she has balls that she throws & doesn't understand why she can't throw everything.


21-08-2008, 04:40 PM
This is a hard one isnt it.
I think that you first shouldnt underestimate the interlectual capacity of any child (my advice to all my new mums). Children do know the difference between throwing a ball in a catch game and throwing a toy at another child even youngs ones. I also find that children do indeed know how to follow different rules in different houses - some of the best behaved/sweetest children at my house, have turned in banshee children the minute mum turns up! How many of us have no problem putting a child into a car seat and yet witness each day mum struggle as she tries to put the same child into her car?
This child deserves to have a fun time whilst with you, but equally your children deserve to not be hurt by the children in your home.
I would put a ban on all throwing in your house. A firm and stern "no" and place him away from the toys and other children each time he throws. Whilst he is learning this rule I would be quite harsh and not let him play with the heavier toys.
Put this way - if the child he was hurting was another childminded child - would you be in such a dilema? If you had to explain to another parent how their child was getting injured, would you view his actions differently and attemp to quash this immediately? Of course you would.
Frustrated or not - he cannot hurt the other children in your care (and potentially affect your income) or your children.

Having read my posting it comes across as quite strong - dont mean it to be - but hope it helps some.

21-08-2008, 05:43 PM
A good point well made. I agree it is much more difficult in this situation but you have been well advised to look at the situation from another angle.
Good luck and i hope it is quickly resolved. x

21-08-2008, 06:14 PM
He knows he's doing wrong, when it happended yesterday I sat him down and he was very quiet but today when it happened he just wanted to pick up the next thing and throw it.

This is my main worry that he throws something at one of my other minded children or another child at a tots group.

Ive decided hes not going to be able to play with the heavier cars at the moment until he stops doing it, as it always seems to be these he goes for when he wants to throw something.

Both me and mum say no when we know he's going to do and he stops, and seems to wait and then do it.

Hes at his worst when hes tired, quite spiteful and mum has seen him do this and he's even thrown things at her so its not just my daughter, I think shes just been in the wrong place both days she got hit.

If he throws a toy then this gets put away, but this makes him worse, Ive actually watched him walk off once I taken something away and he's gone looking for another toy to throw.

CCJD, I agree with everthing you said and this really does worry me, I feel a accident is going to happen soon.

21-08-2008, 07:22 PM
I was just going to start this post today!

My mindee who's nearly 16 mths is just the same. His tantrums started when he was about 10 mths, if he has something in his hand he throws it on the floor (not at other children......yet) then looks for other toys to throw before throwing himself on the floor.

So far I have just ignored him hoping it will ease, but it hasnt and today he nearly hit my head with a car (I already have a black eye courtesy of my nearly 3 DD, but thats another story that I don't know how to handle!) so I've decided I now have to intervene.

I think I'm going to tell him NO when he does it again & hopefully get the toy off him, not sure whether to move him away then when he has a tantrum and put him somewhere safe (only mean at the other end of the room or somewhere).

What do you think?

21-08-2008, 08:49 PM
Hi, in my post I didnt mean to move the child to another room, simply an area of the room you are in where he isnt surrounded in toys and where the others arent immediatley playing.
Hopefull he will associate throwing with being moved away from the toys and the other children who are still playing :rolleyes: - I do know of some childminders who have used a spot (round cut out circle of fabric) to place the child on.
In the very young, you would probably need to sit between the offender and the other children to ensure he stays away for the desired minute or two.

I am not always an advocator of time out - but at a times like this I have used it not only to teach the child acceptable behaviour but also to protect the other children in your care by moving him away from them so that he cant hurt them. The offending child has rights - but so do the other children in your care.

I looked after a challenging one for 4 years (first child I have ever looked after to be banned from his own pre-school nativity!!!) he had many wonderful qualities (hence I looked after him for so long) but a very firm line was drawn if he did anything that could harm or hurt the other children in my care.

Good luck with yours!! Sure you will figure something out that works for you.