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Julia
14-08-2008, 01:01 PM
Hi

Im experianced with little boys (always is the boys) who hate to be away from mum. Ive had plenty of experiance bringing them round and getting them to eventually settle, Ive only had one boy who wouldnt and that was because mum was so soft with him, if he made enough fuss she'd phone in sick and stay with him :eek: :angry:

The little boy I have now, again mum is really soft with him, she constantly says things (whilst he's listening) about not wanting to have to go to work and leave him. Ive had him for 5 weeks and he still crys all day, well I say cry he complains he doesnt actually cry!:rolleyes: . I took him to a fun house on Tuesday and all the other kids I had with me (4) ran off and had a blast, he just stood about 10 feet away from me crying, i tried to get him involved but would only go into the fun house with me!

When I expressed my concerns with dad, he said that this little um had been in nursery but mum took him out because he kept on crying on drop off and pick up and she felt he wasnt settling. Also he told me that mums older child was the same at his age and didnt stop crying about going to school until she was 9 years old! He told me that the mum was very over protective of her son and if he has even the smallest knock or fall she goes off the deep end to the extent that she will convince herself that he needs medical attention!

How the hell is this poor little chap going to cope with school in April next year?? Hes going to freek out, he cant cope with being in a room with 4 other children let alone 20.

I dont want to give up on him, he needs this enviroment, but how am I going to combat his mums smothering? I can be diplomatic, but I'll probably have to be quite harsh with her and tell her to ease off and let the poor kid be a kid and not a clingy mummy's boy, crist he wouldnt even join in the painting and glittering today, he just stood there asking for his mum, I even told him to make the crown for his mum and that made him worst!:(

I dont know what to do? I want to be able to help and get him out of this situation, so at least he's a little prepared for school, but I dont know if my sanity can cope?

what do you think?

Minstrel
14-08-2008, 01:19 PM
Only a suggestion but i did this when my own son wouldnt even stay with daddy while i went to work

As soon as he arrives have something ready for him to do- or be leaving to go out. Do not let mum stay any longer to settle than absolutly necessary to handover. Dont give him a chance to think there is a choice which mum clearly leads him to believe.

As for mum i think you'll have to be tough. talk out of earshot to LO about a new plan and ask her to try it for 2 weeks. if she is anxious then instead maybe she could call an hour later to check all is well?

I think its all about training her as much as him and it sounds like dad is on board!

Good luck x

Julia
14-08-2008, 01:52 PM
Only a suggestion but i did this when my own son wouldnt even stay with daddy while i went to work

As soon as he arrives have something ready for him to do- or be leaving to go out. Do not let mum stay any longer to settle than absolutly necessary to handover. Dont give him a chance to think there is a choice which mum clearly leads him to believe.

As for mum i think you'll have to be tough. talk out of earshot to LO about a new plan and ask her to try it for 2 weeks. if she is anxious then instead maybe she could call an hour later to check all is well?

I think its all about training her as much as him and it sounds like dad is on board!

Good luck x

I do try to get mum up of the door in the morning as quickly as possible, but she just doesnt want to go, I do have activities already set up for when they all arrive, hes always the last to arrive so the activity is usually well underway by the time he arrives, but he never joins in with any of the activities at any time.

She is the only mum who doesnt phone me to check how her son is doing, which does shock me actually id have thought her to be the one mum who would constantly rung me.

I'll give it until the end of the hols and if hes still not joining in, Im going to have to give it some serious thought, I cant go on like this much longer, Im loosing the will to live:eeeek: :eeeek:

sarah707
14-08-2008, 02:31 PM
Some children are better in other settings...

To be honest, if you really feel the child is unhappy then you are not doing him any favours by plugging on... :(