Babies going to sleep on their own

[loocyloo]

I've just been reading a thread on mumsnet ( i blame bunyip for introducing me to aibu many years ago:laughing:)

Anyway!

It is about babies being put down for bed on their own ...

Apparently the latest advice is to keep your baby downstairs/with you until you go to bed. So no wonder 90% of the parents i talk to have children/babies who don't / can't self settle or sleep by themselves or even sleep through. And dare i say, are always tired because they are not getting enough sleep!

I can't remember when mine went to bed on their own ( but still in our room, right next to my side of the bed ) but they both slept through from 7/8pm ish to 6am ish from about 10/12 weeks, so must have been in bed for a few weeks at least before that.

[Pixie dust]

Totally agree with you, from very early days we set a bed time routine bath and then put upstairs to bed. My two are now in their early twenties so times have changed.

[Mouse]

When my lot were babies I always kept them downstairs with me until I went to bed. I don’t think it ever occurred to me to put them to bed by themselves when they were really little. But then they slept in our bed from birth, so maybe the fact they didn’t have a crib or moses basket made a difference!

[FloraDora]

I am never sure where ‘the latest’ information stems from and for who it is supposed to be good for.
It never occurred to me that my baby would not have a bedtime routine from day one really. They had a Moses basket downstairs during the day that was put inside the cot in their own room ( so they got used to the cot) at ‘bedtime’, where it was quiet and darker so they knew the difference.
Initially bedtime was linked to feeding and so usually just before my bedtime but by 6 weeks I had the bath bed routine started at around 6.30pm.
I felt it was important that my children learn’t to settle themselves which they did without crying as they were used to not always hearing my voice or being with me around the house sounds of voices, tv and music. I had a comfy chair in their room where I fed them the last evening feed and popped them back to bed, I gave the middle of the night feed to them there too. Baby monitors had just come in so that was useful.
It was also important that my husband and I had alone time for each other.
Yes there were occasions when they cuddled in with us if they were unsettled with a cold or something in the middle of the night but I was always fearful I would fall asleep and harm them in some way so sleep time was always in their own bed in their own room and it just seemed to work.
Both my lads loved going to bed following a bath, book routine and slept through the night as babies, toddlers and young children with very few issues.

[moggy]

Helping your baby to sleep - NHS (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/getting-baby-to-sleep/)

'For the first 6 months your baby should be in the same room as you when they're asleep, both day and night. '
This is the latest NHS advice, so what HVs/midwives will be promoting too I guess.

[FloraDora]

Helping your baby to sleep - NHS (https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/getting-baby-to-sleep/)

'For the first 6 months your baby should be in the same room as you when they're asleep, both day and night. '
This is the latest NHS advice, so what HVs/midwives will be promoting too I guess.

Thanks for that, it is interesting that they use the word ‘should’ but not explain why?
I found this Harvard article about why they recommend this- it’s to do with Sudden infant death syndrome.

Room sharing with your baby may help prevent SIDS—but it means everyone gets less sleep - Harvard Health Blog - Harvard Health Publishing (https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-pros-and-cons-of-having-your-baby-sleep-in-your-room-2017060611855)

But it does also discuss the positives of babies sleeping in their own room too.

A great summing up sentence in there is:

‘It would be so easy if there were rules for parenting that worked for every family, but that’s just not the case. Every family and every child is different; in every situation, it’s about weighing risks and benefits.’

And that is what parenting is all about I feel- what works for some, isn’t the same for others, we spend our life weighing up the risks and benefits in our decisions in parenting.

[BallyH]

Oh goodness. How hard to be a new parent now what with all the social media scaring them with different advice everyday. I saw something this week about a child's cot that has a built in ippad thingy!!

My 3 boys slept in a moses basket for the first couple of months (big heavy boys). We did keep that downstairs initially until we went to bed but this was more for convenience as I'd had C-sections and therefore easier for me not to climb the stairs yet again etc. But as soon as I felt fit they went up and the basket was put inside the cot. I know it's good for babies to be able to sleep through noise but I think they also need to get use to 'silence' of a dark bedroom and know this is normal. A tricky situation that each parent should weigh up for themselves.

[bunyip]

I've just been reading a thread on mumsnet ( i blame bunyip for introducing me to aibu many years ago:laughing:)

Anyway!

It is about babies being put down for bed on their own ...

Apparently the latest advice is to keep your baby downstairs/with you until you go to bed. So no wonder 90% of the parents i talk to have children/babies who don't / can't self settle or sleep by themselves or even sleep through. And dare i say, are always tired because they are not getting enough sleep!

I can't remember when mine went to bed on their own ( but still in our room, right next to my side of the bed ) but they both slept through from 7/8pm ish to 6am ish from about 10/12 weeks, so must have been in bed for a few weeks at least before that.

On reading your opening line, I thought this was going to be about a different mum on mumsnet. She habituated her baby to only ever co-sleep at night or sleep on mummy during the day. She then dumped this poor tot on a nursery and is surprised that they aren’t settling in well. She’s expecting one to one care in the baby room , with a member of staff permanently available for bubs to nap on.

[loocyloo]

On reading your opening line, I thought this was going to be about a different mum on mumsnet. She habituated her baby to only ever co-sleep at night or sleep on mummy during the day. She then dumped this poor tot on a nursery and is surprised that they aren’t settling in well. She’s expecting one to one care in the baby room , with a member of staff permanently available for bubs to nap on.

I must have missed that one! :laughing: