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View Full Version : HELP!! WHAT DO i DO?????



emmadines
12-08-2008, 10:24 AM
I really dont know????:panic: :panic: :panic:



I sent my son to the loo, S said he wanted to go. I told hime to wait till jake came down. I poped into the kitchen to put a couple of plates away so that I could get the bits ready for cooking.

I dont allow them upstairs unless they need the loo and thats one at a time

I then realise that s and my son have both gone upstars. I go upstairs to see where they were it was only for 2 mins. I then hear whispereing and walk into my sons bedroom.
S has got his trousers down and isin the middle of pulling them up. I send s down stairs and my son stays in his room


I go to talk to s to see whats happened (Im not happy) apparently my son pushed him into his room and was smaking and pinching s bottom!

they both say the same so I am assuming this is the case!


now what do I do??? how do I apporch this???? I now have to tell s's grandparents. this is only day 2 ofr me minding kids:panic: :panic:

I am so annoyed and dissapointed with my son!!:angry:

kindredspirits
12-08-2008, 10:30 AM
yikes. how old are the children in question??
i think you've got to be upfront to parents etc, and write down an incident report - just to be on the safe side. are either of them upset?

emmadines
12-08-2008, 10:31 AM
yikes. how old are the children in question??
i think you've got to be upfront to parents etc, and write down an incident report - just to be on the safe side. are either of them upset?

there both 6, my sons only upset coz i told him off.

what do i put??

kindredspirits
12-08-2008, 10:34 AM
well they're young - so obviously there was nothing in it, iykwim.
put down exactly what happened, as you wrote it on the forum, and then what action you've taken, i.e. spoken to both boys, explained what was wrong and then get parents to sign it. if the mindee isn't upset i personally wouldn't call them about it - but i could be wrong there.

just kids being kids.

Wiggly
12-08-2008, 10:35 AM
I agree - think you should write and incident form out just saying exactly what happened as told to you by the kids and how you dealt with it and ask grandparents to sign it.

Kids will be kids but I know that doesn't help much.

Wiggly
x

emmadines
12-08-2008, 10:52 AM
12/08/08
Involving ************* and J.



Today at 11.00 am, my son was asked to go to the toilet; ************* also stated that he needed the toilet. I asked him to wait down stairs till my son came down.

I assumed this happened so popped into the kitchen to make room for the baking. I then realise that ************* had in fact gone upstairs.

************* states that my son pushed him into the bedroom and started smacking and pinching his bottom whilst ************* had his trousers down. As they rushed out of my son’s room with *************pulling up his trousers I do not have a full account of what happened but when I spoke to the boys individually the above statement has been confirmed by both boys.


Action taken.
I have spoke to both boys individually that this action should not happen and that they should not do it again I have also reinstated that both boys are not to go upstairs together and only for use of the toilet.


hows that
??

kindredspirits
12-08-2008, 11:07 AM
sounds fine. i'd also put that mindee wasn't upset by the incident just to cover your back.

Pipsqueak
12-08-2008, 12:17 PM
Ok,
first of all S has disobeyed you by going upstairs when you told him not to. Hope you reprimanded him.

where is your sons room in relation to the bathroom - so has your son just walked out and mindee happened to be by bedroom door and your son has pushed him in there?
Have you asked your son why about the whole incident. Why he pushed him into the room (exactly how did he do it or did he pull him excitedly by the arm to show him he room), why he told mindee to take down pants or did mindee say about it first and they both agreed it was a good idea, why your son decided to pinch/slap his bottom - did mindee tell him to do it? What made your son think all this was fun/good idea. Are you sure mindee hasn't encouraged him to do this, (or even told him what to say)? Just showing cetain scenarios

Sorry I now have quite a two way thinking about this after my ex-mindee was sooo convincing about what my son done/said/made her do when all along it was actually her and she was a darned good manipulator of the truth. I am not trying to shift the blame onto either child but I would say always always try to find out what actually happend. If you are happy with the given explanations thats fine.

I wouldn't be too cross or disappointed in your son - just take him to one side and say that it wasn't a good thing to do and that upstairs is off limits to mindees. I would also take mindee to task about disobeying you. Kids are naturally curious and often do very odd totally innocent things

Good idea to make an incident report (make it clear that S ignored your instruction to wait).
Reassure g/parents its won't happen again - this is what you will do to make sure it doesn't. Get them to realise that mindee cannot ignore your instructions either.
Don't berate your son in front of them or go into detail about punishments - its sufficient to say you have dealt with the situation.

emmadines
12-08-2008, 04:47 PM
Ok,
first of all S has disobeyed you by going upstairs when you told him not to. Hope you reprimanded him.

where is your sons room in relation to the bathroom - so has your son just walked out and mindee happened to be by bedroom door and your son has pushed him in there?
Have you asked your son why about the whole incident. Why he pushed him into the room (exactly how did he do it or did he pull him excitedly by the arm to show him he room), why he told mindee to take down pants or did mindee say about it first and they both agreed it was a good idea, why your son decided to pinch/slap his bottom - did mindee tell him to do it? What made your son think all this was fun/good idea. Are you sure mindee hasn't encouraged him to do this, (or even told him what to say)? Just showing cetain scenarios

Sorry I now have quite a two way thinking about this after my ex-mindee was sooo convincing about what my son done/said/made her do when all along it was actually her and she was a darned good manipulator of the truth. I am not trying to shift the blame onto either child but I would say always always try to find out what actually happend. If you are happy with the given explanations thats fine.

I wouldn't be too cross or disappointed in your son - just take him to one side and say that it wasn't a good thing to do and that upstairs is off limits to mindees. I would also take mindee to task about disobeying you. Kids are naturally curious and often do very odd totally innocent things

Good idea to make an incident report (make it clear that S ignored your instruction to wait).
Reassure g/parents its won't happen again - this is what you will do to make sure it doesn't. Get them to realise that mindee cannot ignore your instructions either.
Don't berate your son in front of them or go into detail about punishments - its sufficient to say you have dealt with the situation.

first of all S has disobeyed you by going upstairs when you told him not. yes he did. I did have strong but polite words with him and stated that I will be speeking to his grandparents.

where is your sons room in relation to the bathroomright next door

Have you asked your son why about the whole incident yes, all i get is "i dont know" (which was the thing that got me more annoyed)


all i got when i asked "Q" about it was "i dont know" or a shrug of the shoulders. which didnt help.


I spoke to both the boys seperatly till I had the same story from both. I also had words with them stating that they shouldnt do that sort of thig.
I also states to s that I will not tolerate him doing the opposite to what I have stated not to do and that he is not allowed upstairs unless he need the toilet and he must go alone!

they grand parent have signed the incident form above and i belive it has been left at that.

Gherkin
12-08-2008, 09:30 PM
DO NOT put your sons name in the incident report. My Ofsted inspector told me that in the incident reports if it was involving 2 children you should do them seperatly (you wouldn't do one for your own child) and that you should leaves names out - by all means in conversation you can say it was your son but do not put it on paper due to confidentiallity.

She said this because my dd had had a couple of biting incidents and I had put in the reoprts that it was my daughter but she said from a confidentiallity perspective you wouyldn't put another mindees name down so best not to put your childrens name down.

emmadines
13-08-2008, 01:34 PM
yeah thats what ive done, they seem ok with whats happened and how it was delt