thoughts please

[chris goodyear]

Your thoughts please. I have a 4and a half year old mindee who has been with me for just over a year and I am having concerns about him. When he was at pre school he displayed very aggressive behaviour towards his key worker if she engaged with another child but this did calm down after a few months. However he seems to be in a world of his own most of the time, never listens (I know most kids don't) but this is to the extreme. As I say he has been here for over a year but still every morning he asks shall I take my shoes off as the rule is no shoes on in the house , even my 1 year olds know that is what they do. His speech isn't great and we can't understand some of what he says and he will still hit other children but when we ask why he has done it the answer is always 'because I did'. His mum suggested that we don't take this as an answer and have to by some means get a proper answer. He is very young for his age and his 'best friend' at my house is a just three year old.I have now noticed that he can't run properly and sort of lollops along. Pre school mentioned it to the school before he started and said that I had concerns as well and my question is should I mention the running to his mum or wait for the school to pick up on it? She and I have a good relationship and she says she doesn't know whether he has a problem or in her words he is just a little *******!

[moggy]

From personal experience, I'd never 'wait for school to pick-up on it'. Schools can be absolutely useless, and with a class of 30 children the teacher may not even notice for months or more- physical things like running are not top of their priorities when they have to get them through their phonics tests etc, but could be an important indicator of a more general problem.
I'd suggest parents ask to see HV (or school nurse, not sure what age they take over) to share a list of overall concerns, maybe with you there or with your input. The earlier issues are picked up the sooner support can be put in place.

[FloraDora]

These situations are always tricky, especially when other settings are in place and parents are not leading the concerns.
I would spend time observing and get my assessments up to date and invite parents for a review. During this time it gives you ample opportunity to share what you think his next steps are....focus on these then meet again in January and discuss improvement/ progress...with this evidence you will then have paperwork and observations to take it further .....SEN way if needed.
After the review write it up like a two year report, highlighting strengths and where they are - give a written copy to parents, often seeing summaries written down after a discussion helps parents focus on the major points.
With parent's permission, share your review outcomes with school.
Get mum on board to observing and helping towards his next steps.

Sometimes children lag in an area because this has just been missed and a little extra experience and encouragement and they are on their way.
If mum starts to observe too, she may not wait until January and go down the GP/ Health visitor way herself, including your obs as evidence.
Good luck.

[sarah707]

Once a child is in full time school we 'hand over' responsibility to them for tracking learning and development ... but that does not mean we are not responsible for flagging up concerns if we have them.

its just tricky how to say something as very often parents are in denial and teachers are so busy they miss things.

I'd do a track of progress using early years outcomes - see how I can support the child during the school transition - speak to parents about the types of things I'll be doing to help the child - those sorts of things.

Parents will hopefully pick up on the 'aims' within the positives :D