2 parents visiting setting?

[Kaybeaa]

This might seem like a daft question, but I'm currently looking to fill a space next March after my maternity leave finishes, and have had various emails from an interested mum regarding a space. She's arranged to come next week during the children's nap times, and has just emailed to confirm the time and mention her husband is taking the afternoon off work to come along too. Is it normal practice/fairly common for two parents to come? I totally get that it's a big decision to make, but on the otherhand, in 4 years I've only had one parent, usually the mum come along. I'm feeling more nervous than I should now, I'm going to feel like I'm being interviewed with 2 of them against one! Can anyone put my mind at rest that this is quite normal?

[chris goodyear]

Yes it's a normal occurrence. Sometimes I've had mum come and then come back another day/evening with dad. It happens more these days than when I started 25+ years ago but I think it's because men now are more involved. Don't feel nervous and just be yourself!

[loocyloo]

I once had mum, dad and grandma!

[Mouse]

Over the past few years I've noticed that more often than not it's both parents who come to the meetings. At one time it would just be the mum who came and I'd often never even meet the dad. Now they both come and it seems a bit strange if only one of them turns up!

Look at is as a positive thing. If dad is taking time off work to come along, they must be thinking very seriously about using you. If mum was just coming to suss you out she'd probably come by herself.

In some ways it's easier if they're both there. I've found that often one will follow the child around, giving you chance to talk properly to the other.

[Mouse]

I once had mum, dad and grandma!

I've had that.

And once mum, dad and grandma, but grandma stayed in the car with the child, despite me inviting her in as well.

[bunyip]

I actively encourage both parents to come.

Perhaps it's different with me being a man. I find dads are more likely to leave it to mum to come and visit, but they can very occasionally be uneasy about a male CM (far more than the mums are.) It happens most often with the squaddie dads from the local-ish barracks. They leave it all for mum to arrange, then get worried when mum likes us here.

If I get both parents here, then I know they're both happy with it before they sign, which has to be better than finding out later than one is less than happy. It also means I know what they each look like the first time they collect the child.

You may feel nervous, and very reasonably so, about being 'outnumbered' - so have a friend in the house if possible. It makes sense from a safeguarding/lon-working point of view.

[Maza]

I usually get mums and dads too. Dads usually just do the one visit, just to reassure mum that she's making the right decision. After that it has usually been the mum who does the other visits.

In my experience it has all been fine. The dads have usually just sat back and let mum do all the talking. With one dad, I found that I was at the same university at the same time! We had a good chinwag about the pubs we used to go to (I was thinking 'I'm sure I didn't snog him, surely I would have remembered'). He then had a big chat with hubby about the rugby. Don't think he asked a single question about childminding but I worked with them for about four years and will look after their third child if I go back into childminding in the near future.

Another dad spent most of his time taking business calls - totally fine. Again he didn't ask a single question about childminding and I worked with them for nearly four years too.

Quite often, the dads accompany them on weekend visits when they are not at work, so I always have hubby around anyway.

[FloraDora]

I have three very hands on dads.
On their initial visits two came along to first meeting ....they phoned within ten minutes of leaving that they wanted the place. Dads drop off and often pick up, add to learning journal etc...
The third did not come to initial visit.....but another visit had to be arranged with dad before a decision could be made, he also shares equally their parenting roles and contributions to their learning.
What I am trying to say is...welcome and embrace dad visiting, both parents at the same time - means they don't need a second visit, probably, decision made quicker. Also dad on board therefore two parents hands on can only be a positive!
Encourage and enjoy!

[k1rstie]

When my 16 year old was with a childminder, my husband had no interest in my childcare arrangements at all. I think he probably only ever picked up twice, and that was when I was a away on a course.

I think the modern Dad wants to get involved. All my families have either Mum at drop off, Dad at collection. I find childcare a greater partnership nowadays.

At a parent interview, there is a lot of information to take in. With two parents there, hopefully one of them may remember the useful stuff from your conversations, such as 'dont send your child while they are sick', 'I do require payment regularly', 'please call or text if your child isn't coming in the morning', etc

[watford wizz]

I'm all for encouraging dads to be involved as much as possible but who ever is coming I always follow a few safety guides if I'm meeting new parents/carers without another adult in the house. I arrange for my hubby/close adult to ring me 30 mins in to visit. I explain waiting for call/must answer but not why. I then call said person after visit, not usually longer than 2 hrs to confirm I am ok.
Perhaps others have other things they do, we are very vulnerable and have the responsibility of keeping other people's children safe. I don't usually do first meetings when minded children are in my care, once Iv met them and they show serious interest they are welcome to come for a working day visit.

[Kaybeaa]

Thanks folks, feeling relived now to learn it's the norm. In fact it seems that having just mum do the visit is more unusual!! I think because I live in a small village with very few childminders, I've never really had to advertise and people have just taken the spaces on offer because they're so desperate for childcare. I've never really had to "sell" myself before... I think I'm nervous that having 2 people visit puts me in a vulnerable position and leaves me open to criticism if there's 2 people there. I'll try and take the positives from both parents visiting though as advised 😊

[k1rstie]

I'm all for encouraging dads to be involved as much as possible but who ever is coming I always follow a few safety guides if I'm meeting new parents/carers without another adult in the house. I arrange for my hubby/close adult to ring me 30 mins in to visit. I explain waiting for call/must answer but not why. I then call said person after visit, not usually longer than 2 hrs to confirm I am ok. Perhaps others have other things they do, we are very vulnerable and have the responsibility of keeping other people's children safe. I don't usually do first meetings when minded children are in my care, once Iv met them and they show serious interest they are welcome to come for a working day visit.

When I first started I remember showing both parents round my whole house, then I said that I would be away on my holidays from this date to this date. Looking back on that now I think it was a bit STUPID!!!

[Mouse]

I think I'm nervous that having 2 people visit puts me in a vulnerable position and leaves me open to criticism if there's 2 people there. 😊

The chances are they're both coming because they're too nervous to come by themselves! Don't forget, you know what you're talking about and you have experience. They are possibly completely out of their comfort zones and are relying on you to steer them in the right direction. Have confidence in yourself and don't forget, you're the professional :thumbsup:

[hulahoops]

I once had mum, dad and grandma!

I've had mum and grandma a few times. One of them was a nightmare. At the time I had 2 boys who were about 20 months, grandma asked where the little girl (9 months) would be when the boys are playing rough. Erm my boys didn't play rough.
After the interview had finished she said 'right, I will tell you now, I work for the early years service' I felt like saying 'and.........'
I was so glad when I didn't get that baby