Feeling Guilty!

[rollypolly]

So I had a family who came for a second interview, and I have decided that they were just not right for my settling. I've never experienced this before, and have emailed the family (as this is the only contact details I have for them) to say that I'd had a change of circumstances and the space was no longer available. I know it was the right decision, but feeling really guilty. Has anyone else been in this position? Thanks x

[chris goodyear]

Yes I have and yes I felt incredibly guilty! We have to remember that they can find alternative care when they have to and most don't feel guilty when they give notice! I will have the same again soon as a mum from school has asked for a place for her 9 year old and when I asked all my schoolies if they know this child they all said 'please don't have her we don't like her' It was all said individually so I won't be taking her on and will dread telling mum that I no longer have the space when she eventually gets a new job. It's not worth upsetting everyone else and having to give notice in the end.

[rickysmiths]

Yes I have and that is why we Interview. It is as much for us to see if we get along with the family as they with us.

I only ever once was ruled by money and the need to fill a space and didn't listen to my instinct and I gave them notice in the 4 weeks settling in period. 2 months later, just after I had been inspected they complained to Ofsted. After Oftsed had picked themselves up off the floor with laughing the complaint was not upheld!

I have always followed my instinct since. After all many of the families who come to see us don't choose us and end up with a minder down the road.

[Maza]

I've also been there, twice. To be honest, with the second one I didn't feel that guilty because they weren't really that nice, but the first time I turned a family down I felt really guilty because they were lovely. I just picked another family over them because I wanted a toddler who could be a playmate for my toddler DD, rather than a baby. I felt awful, but it was the right decision - my DD and the toddler had a fabulous time together and got along like a house on fire.

As others have said, it works both ways and parents turn us down if hey find something that suits us better. x

[sarah707]

I always say to new childminders - follow your gut instinct - it's really important and don't feel guilty we can't be all things to all people! xx

[rollypolly]

Thanks everyone, feeling much better about it now :) x

[Bluebell]

yes - follow your gut instinct - i didn't - so eager to please - and had nightmare parents - but continued to try and please them. They had such a bad reputation that people i barely knew would come and complain to me about them and their child - when i finished i had another childminder ask about them as she had heard bad things about them from the pre-school and hadn't had a good experience - i just said don't do it - they recently asked if i had spaces for their younger child as they saw i was going back to childminding - er no!!

[alex__17]

I didn't follow my gut when I first started as I was so worried I'd never get anyone...never again, I regretted every second but didn't have the confidence to say no to them, learnt a v hard lesson, I'll always trust my gut now

[Koala]

oooohhhh yes, definitely listen to your instincts, you'll be saying to yourself in a few months "thank goodness I dodged that bullet".