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gef918
21-01-2016, 03:49 PM
Taking on a child whose mum lives with boyfriend who is not child's father. Father was abusive during pregnancy so is not on birth certificate and does not know where they live.

I assume this means only mum has parental responsibility.

My forms ask for details of parent 1 and parent 2. This would be mum and boyfriend?

Do I need any information about biological father?

bunyip
21-01-2016, 06:53 PM
Taking on a child whose mum lives with boyfriend who is not child's father. Father was abusive during pregnancy so is not on birth certificate and does not know where they live.

I assume this means only mum has parental responsibility.

My forms ask for details of parent 1 and parent 2. This would be mum and boyfriend?

Do I need any information about biological father?

Don't assume. One of the few things I learned at school was my old form-master's wise words, " assumption is a posh word for c0ck-up."

Your EYFS regulatory reference is:


3.72 Providers must record the following information for each child in their care: full name; date of birth; name and address of every parent and/or carer who is known to the provider (and information about any other person who has parental responsibility for the child); which parent(s) and/or carer(s) the child normally lives with; and emergency contact details for parents and/or carers.

I read this as saying you must find out if the absent father has PR and if so, get as much information (name, last known address, etc.) as possible.

If he's not on the birth certificate, he may still have PR if married to the mother at the time of birth. This sounds unlikely if she's saying "boyfriend" but worth checking out. I would certainly not take on the contract without seeing the contract.

I'd be tempted to get a written disclaimer from mum stating exactly who has PR, and making it clear she accepts you may give immediate notice if any false information is provided.

Worth finding out if there is a court order/injunction preventing access or OTOH any agreement granting the ex-boyfriend access.

You might want to do a risk assessment or emergency action plan just in case he turned up at your premises or saw you in any public place.

One final point. You probably have only mum's side of the story. Do you know categorically that "Father was abusive during pregnancy" or do you just know that Mum claims that is the case? Think on't......................

gef918
21-01-2016, 07:47 PM
Thanks for the reply. Looks like I have some research to do.

bunyip
21-01-2016, 08:08 PM
Btw, my stoopid error:-


If he's not on the birth certificate, he may still have PR if married to the mother at the time of birth. This sounds unlikely if she's saying "boyfriend" but worth checking out. I would certainly not take on the contract without seeing the contract.

Should read: I would certainly not take on the contract without seeing the birth certificate.

My apologies.

Jelly Baby
22-01-2016, 08:04 AM
Morning. Ive recently delved into this a bit further as have the same situation as you.

Basically I have been told..

If the dad is on the birth certificate he has every right to see/collect the child from you as has PR. Obviously my argument was 'I don't know what he looks like' 'will he bring birth cert if he decided to turn up'?

If there is a court order or legal doc saying Dad cant see said child then that is basically it from our point of view.

I did not know though and wasn't told to get information about the dad..i have seen the birth cert for funding reasons but not taken a note..i shall get this now.

Still I don't feel 100% clear I guess if the situation arose of dad turning up.

Simona
22-01-2016, 11:39 AM
If you are unclear on this very important and delicate matter give your PLI a ring...let them explain the ins and outs of this complicated issue!

gef918
24-01-2016, 07:16 PM
Thanks for the replies


I did some research and checked the birth certificate. Mum has signed to say she has sole parental responsibility but understands she needs to keep me updated if the father files for parental responsibility.

Simona
24-01-2016, 10:31 PM
Thanks for the replies


I did some research and checked the birth certificate. Mum has signed to say she has sole parental responsibility but understands she needs to keep me updated if the father files for parental responsibility.

A child's birth certificate does not always tell us who is responsible....unless there is a court order against one parent both have responsibilities ...make sure you get the right details or seek professional advice for more information.

gef918
25-01-2016, 08:23 AM
A child's birth certificate does not always tell us who is responsible....unless there is a court order against one parent both have responsibilities ...make sure you get the right details or seek professional advice for more information.

Thanks Simona. I checked the government website which states how a father not named on the birth certificate can still have parental responsibility, ie through marriage, pr agreement or court order. Mum has signed to say none of these apply, but I will check with my PLI as you suggest.

Simona
25-01-2016, 08:40 AM
Thanks Simona. I checked the government website which states how a father not named on the birth certificate can still have parental responsibility, ie through marriage, pr agreement or court order. Mum has signed to say none of these apply, but I will check with my PLI as you suggest.

That would be most advisable...make sure you have no reason to be questioned on this very delicate subject!

bunyip
25-01-2016, 12:27 PM
Thanks Simona. I checked the government website which states how a father not named on the birth certificate can still have parental responsibility, ie through marriage, pr agreement or court order. Mum has signed to say none of these apply, but I will check with my PLI as you suggest.

Your're very wise to research this and 'cover all the bases'.

I had a messy situation some time ago and I was a bit wet behind the ears, as it was within my first 12 months of registration IIRC. Cutting a long story short, dad had PR but mum didn't want him to see the boys, so she tried to fob me of with a selection of tall tales, emotional blackmail, and a very dodgy and aggressive solicitor's letter. Fortunately they were only ad hoc, but it was still rather sad that I ended up having to refuse to have the children any more.

I took legal and police advice and was very glad I did. For one thing, I was advised to warn the mum's solicitor that they could be reported for malpractice for the sort of letters they were writing to try and deny dad his PR rights. The other important advice I was given was that the favoured tactic of many CMs in this situation (and the one I thought I could use) - ie. simply 'not recognising' dad if he turned up - was very inadvisable and could land me in serious trouble. In short, if a parent (even an absent parent) has a right to access, then it is reasonable to expect a CM to be proactive in making sure they can identify that parent and not just try to turn a blind eye to the situation.

She really needed some occasional childcare; I went out of my way to help, including some very short-notice bookings, bank holidays, etc. but she made things so difficult it was no longer worth the hassle. :(