PDA

View Full Version : thinking about starting a family



Jessymax
15-01-2016, 04:36 PM
I have been thinking about starting a family for a while now and although I have only just started minding I am not thinking until next year perhaps if work, money is all good my partner feels the same. I was just wondering if you guys could give me some advise from when you had your 1st baby in regards to how long did u work upto ( I know I don't know how I would feel yet as both my sisters had awful pregnancies and labours :/ ) also how long did you take mat leave and when you went back did u feel you had had long enough and did you cut down on the amount of children you had. thanks In advance anyone who is willing to help xx

BlondeMoment
15-01-2016, 05:54 PM
Hello!
I began minding before having my own child too. Think we're in a minority as most people do it once they have their families so they can be at home.
I was a nanny for years then decided to work from home. Best decision I ever made :)
My plan was to work until I was due, then take 3 months off and this is what I told my parents I'd be doing when I first got pregnant.
It went totally differently.
At 26 weeks I was diagnosed with SPD (link below) which got worse and worse and I ended up going on maternity leave as early as I was able to (about 28 weeks I think)
I couldn't lift the little ones or get up from the floor after playing or changing nappies. Made my job a pain filled living nightmare and the children weren't safe with me really as I became quite immobile. By the end of my pregnancy I was on crutches!
I helped parents find alternative care and told them I would love them to come back when I returned to work but totally understood if the children became settled elsewhere.
I ended up taking the full 9 months we're entitled to needing to go back to work when bub was 7 months. Even then it was a struggle because the SPD took ages to correct itself. Most of my families came back which was lovely!

I think all you can do is go ahead with your plans but keep everyone as informed as you can. No need to tell anyone until you're confirmed as pregnant and have got through that first 12 weeks - unless you're throwing up all the time then you may have to confess lol.
I found all my families very supportive. Obviously they wanted to know what 'the plan' was regarding maternity leave and going back to work etc but they all understood when I had to go on leave earlier than expected.

I'm actually really glad I took my full leave because having that one to one time with my first little baby was really lovely. The sleepless nights are a real shock to the system so it's a good idea to take a good bit of time off. I was sure I'd have my baby in a decent sleep routine by 6 months old but he had reflux and it just didn't happen. Was really tough going for a while what with updating myself on the new EYFS changes as well as new risk assessments, policies, and some new kids too.

Definitely start back part time only and increase your hours if it's going OK xxx

Good luck xxx

Pelvic pain in pregnancy - Pregnancy and baby guide - NHS Choices (http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/pelvic-pain-pregnant-spd.aspx)

Jessymax
15-01-2016, 09:37 PM
thans so much for taking time to reply really appreciate it xx

BlondeMoment
20-01-2016, 09:07 PM
You're very welcome.
Hope it helps x

amirose
21-01-2016, 10:11 AM
I also minded before having children too. I started minding in 2008 and didn't have my son until 2014.
I worked up until the Friday and went into labour Tuesday evening! I didn't find working whilst pregnant too bad, I suffered with horrible sickness throughout my entire pregnancy so although that was hard it was no harder at the end then the beginning. I took it easier towards the end, my son was born in September so we didn't do big day trips etc in the summer holidays like we normally do, instead staying closer to home visiting the adventure playgrounds, using the garden and doing crafts etc. I also stopped working with my two youngest mindees (who were babies) sooner then the older children as they were the most work (lifting them etc).
I went back to work when my son was 8 weeks old. I had originally planned on 6 weeks but it was much harder then I expected and I delayed it until after the October half term. I think the routine and normality probably did me good and kept me sane but I hated it. My son had severe silent reflux and was an awful sleeper, up every hour 50% of the time, and he didn't sleep through the night until he was 7 months old. I also resented the fact that it was hard/almost impossible to get him in a routine as parents would arrive at awkward times and often wake him or chat for ages and put me of schedule. Since having my son I have completely lost my love for the job. I want to sit at home and cuddle my baby all day (my baby is now almost 17 months!!!!). However having the children around is very good for him, he plays so much better when they are here. Despite the fact I still feel like I don't want to work I totally see how much easier he is when he is occupied with other children here.
I think I perhaps just need a shake to get my motivation back, I should be advertising for more children (I lost 7 children most who I had since babies in September to school) but feeling lazy and enjoying barely working with the 4 kids I have (2 lo's and 2 after schoolers). I'm literally currently only working 1 1/2 days a week and enjoying being able to do things one on one with my son. Shane that is not practical when it comes to money!

Jessymax
21-01-2016, 10:31 AM
thanks that's really helpful and sorry u feel like thayt maybe its due to going back to work when he was so tiny... im not judging because financially and like u say making sure u have a routine and reason to get dressed everyday is good! my plan would be to go back quite soon but not full time but the more I speak to people like you the more it makes me think I should have the full mat leave but then I worry id lose all my mindess and struggle to get busy again :/ im not even pregnant yet but like to think what the 'plan' would be xx