Considering moving

[redtiger21]

Hi, I'm after a little advice- we're considering moving house, and 2 of the properties we're considering moving to would mean that the walk to and from infant school for my 4.5yo mindee every day would change from 15mins each way to about 30mins each way MINIMUM....Now, whilst I do have a car I could use, I genuinely HATE driving on the school run, I find it so much more stressful, and it's hard on my back lugging heavy car seats in and out of the family car when we need to swap things around, plus in the afternoons when I have another after schooler, it would be a terrible squish trying to get 2 toddler seats in the back with a booster in the middle, in my little Ford Focus! In fact I'm not sure it's possible! I don't want to be harsh on the little 4.5yo and her little legs though, is it very unreasonable of me (if we did move to this particular property) to say that we would continue to be doing the school run on foot? I'm prepared for the fact that I may lose the child, but that in itself would be hard on the child's mum too as I'm pretty much her only option in this town and we get on great, and I feel like it will come across as me being stubborn. What do you think?

[loocyloo]

only you can make that decision!

BUT, you do have to think about you and your family first. so I would tell mum that you are considering moving and it might mean a longer walk to school. I wouldn't even mention the possibility of using the car! ( then you could possibly use it on days you really need to/want to, without it being an expectation. I have a mum who expected that because I do use my car, I would use it for school run, and was quite surprised to discover her 3 yr old has been walking to and from school each time! I drop and collect from school )

rather than using time, how far is it?

I used to live about 300m from school, and then moved to just over a mile away. It could take us 20-30 mins easily to get home. ( I did find it stressful GETTING to school on time, as having to wait for arrivals before we could leave was not good! and yes, I used to just leave and they would find me 'on route' ! ) I would be concerned a little about a 3 yr old say, who had to walk there and back twice in one day, but with time and encouragement, it can become a good activity. just if a child is not used to walking, it can become a huge issue for all involved.

good luck xxx

[redtiger21]

Thanks. I think it'll be a change from about half a mile each way to about a mile each way. It might put the parents off, it might not, but I suppose that's something I'll have to deal with as it happens :/

[Louise_Oaktree]

In my experience you have to put the needs of your family first, my 2 year old (now 10!) used to walk a half mile each way, we started with buggy board but he soon got used to it. A mile for a 4 year old is fine in my opinion. What I would say is sometimes the weather can be very bad and it would be this I would worry about most. When I did a walking school run (before my own children started at a different school) I registered my husband as my assistant as back up (he works flexi time) so I could rely on him if the weather was too bad to walk.

At the end of the day however much of a great relationship you have with the family, I can be almost certain they wouldn't think twice about making a decision to leave if it suited them so don't beat yourself up about what it means for them, I have made changes in the past to suit parents and then when it suited them they left, so I don't do that anymore if the changes don't suit me.

[moggy]

This is your family house you are considering, although it is very noble of you to be thinking about this one mindee it really is not something that should put you off buying what might be your perfect house where you maybe living for decades to come.

Mindees come and they go. This one will soon be 5, 6, 7... if they stay with you then the walk will become more managable in time, maybe they can use a scooter to make it easier.

But if you turn this house down just because of this one mindee, won't you be kicking yourself if they give notice in a few months (anything can happen- redundancy, maternity leave- could be completely unplanned!, them moving house, new afterschool club etc etc...) and you have missed out on your dream home?

[redtiger21]

Thanks everyone- I'm very pleased to say we signed the deal on the house today! It's still being built, so parents have until May/June to make the decision as to what they want to do :) As well as the 4.5 yr old (who will be 5 by the time we move in), my mindees are 8 (who will be fine, at a different school so much closer to new house anyway), plus the little ones who will then be ranging from 1 to 3.5. I usually insist that by 3.5-4 they're always walking, but I'm going to continue using the buggy or buggy board for the older toddlers x

[sing-low]

How exciting for you! That sounds perfect as it will be Summer when you start and it is always easier to be walking when it is warmer and by the time it gets cold again everyone will have got used to the extra distance.