View Full Version : Constantly upset 10month old...

16-11-2015, 04:07 PM
Hello wise ones!

I have a 10month old (nearly 11months) who has suddenly become very clingy and very sensitive. He started with me in Sept when we was 9months and he quickly learnt to crawl and would sit up and explore toys, shake instruments and bang blocks together, very happily. Now two weeks ago mom came in and said her and dad were in the process of splitting up, I was shocked to say the least, and just said I'm sorry to hear that. Since then the boy has become very clingy, he will not move around the room, he sits and moans unless he is on my lap. This is such a turn around from how he was a few weeks ago.

Obviously I know he isn't going to understand his parents are splitting up, but he will notice a difference won't he? I don't know if his behaviour shift is just a developmental milestone or if there is more to it?!

I know through conversation that mom and dad don't spend anytime together anymore, every weekend they alternate going back to their families, so despite child's young age he will notice this.

I'm stuck as what to do, should I mention this to parents? I am torn between wanting to cuddle this little one all day, to realising I can't because other children need my attention and things have to get done. If I did mention it to parents, what could I realistically expect them to do? They are ending their marriage, they are obviously angry with each other (they let things slip when I see them) so I can't really say to them you need to spend time together like you used to can I?

Any advice will be gratefully received, thanks x

16-11-2015, 04:55 PM
This maybe of some help

Divorce or separation of parents - the impact on children and adolescents (http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/healthadvice/parentsandyouthinfo/parentscarers/divorceorseparation.aspx)

16-11-2015, 05:24 PM
At that age could it just be the upheaval and change to routine that the child is responding to? Plus as much as the parents are hiding it the little one could be picking up on their upset and tension. It's a tricky one, because I'm sure the parents both want what it best for the child but are both pretty distressed too. I would tell them that little one seems a little more clingy than usual and it could be because of the change in routine. I guess all that you can is be a solid routine in the baby's life that it can find reliable and familiar. Keep doing what you're doing, I guess. At least that's what I'd do in that situation. :)

chris goodyear
16-11-2015, 05:50 PM
At the moment you are the one constant in this little one's life so that's a plus for him. Give him as many cuddles as you can and hopefully this will help. I had the same situation a couple of times in years gone by and children do react maybe by getting angry with everything/everyone which is what I experienced but then the children were school age - about 7ish and it was hard for everyone. It got better as time went on and hopefully as your lo is so young it will be quicker for his behaviour to settle down.

23-11-2015, 01:17 PM
The lo's parents separating will be having an impact on him but it could also be developmental changes. I had a lo start with me when he was just over 8 months, he initially settled really well and like yours he soon began sitting, crawling, exploring etc. etc. Suddenly everything changed, it was almost overnight. He literally screamed all day unless held! I couldnt make lunch or go to the loo let alone do anything with the other children in my care. It was so draining that I started to feel really down and dreaded every day. This went on for around 5 months before I eventually gave notice.

Maybe speak to the parents to see how he is at home atm?

25-11-2015, 10:33 AM
Thank you sorry for delay in response!

Parents reckon it's teething, could well be! I think it must be a combination of things he has so much going on in his little life at the moment, although the three of them had a weekend together and he came in on Monday in the highest of spirits, but could just be a coincidence!

The moaning isn't serious enough for me to consider giving notice, he sleeps and eats and will be happy some times, he is just more clingy than I've ever known him.