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View Full Version : how do you have a hospital appt?



TinyTinker
07-11-2015, 07:58 PM
I am being referred to the boobie clinic and appt is in less than 2 weeks time! so I can't book it as holiday, there would be too many for my hubby to have on his own, and I would be more than 2 hours anyway. sooooo, how do I go about looking after my own health when I'm too busy to?

I guess I will have to call them monday to reschedule for a quieter day and give holiday:panic: not wanting too as have a full timer 18mo who will only just be starting in a weeks time - I know for sure her mum will only just be starting her new job and hasn't got any family or even friends (just moved to area) to take their lo :(

chris goodyear
07-11-2015, 08:13 PM
I'm guessing your husband is registered either on his own or as your assistant? I would try to keep your scheduled appointment as you don't know how long you will be waiting (and stressing) for the next one. Can you explain to the parents and the ones who can take time off do and the ones who can't then your hubby will be o.k. with the numbers? If the time limit of 2 hours is a problem is there another childminder who could help out? I had a heart by-pass operation in 2008 and my daughter (my assistant) kept the schoolies going and we had to not have the early years children as they were all day. All my parents were fantastic and made alternative arrangements and I was off work for 5 months, they all came back when I was fit again.

Maza
07-11-2015, 09:11 PM
Please don't reschedule. Why should you? Treat it like any other job and say you won't be available on x date. They do have time to make other arrangements. These things happen and sometimes you just need to put yourself first. End of. You won't get paid, though, which is unfortunate, but what can you do? x

AliceK
07-11-2015, 09:31 PM
Sometimes emergency appointments have to be made and we just have to take the time off with little warning. Is there anyway your OH can sit in the waiting areas with the LO's or take them to the café or something whilst you're in your apt if you really feel you don't want to take the time off, with parents permission obviously. If not then it can't be helped. I had to do this a few months ago and ended up having 3 appointments and as bad as I felt for the parents my health is more important and going to the breast clinic obviously wasn't appropriate for me to take LO's with me although I did take one along when I went to see the consultant and she sat outside with my mum whilst I was in the appointment.
Good luck xxx

cathtee
07-11-2015, 09:49 PM
Think about yourself, your health is the most important thing to you and your family, I'm sure the parents will be supportive like it was said before take lo one with you and hubby can sit with them in cafe or waiting room I've done this before and all parents were fine with it.x

BallyH
07-11-2015, 10:29 PM
As already posted, talk to your parents, they are human after all. Offer to take them with you. Your husband could sit with them in the car, drive to a park, cafe etc. Or they could collect their child early and you don't charge.

Mouse
07-11-2015, 10:33 PM
I've got an appointment in a couple of weeks time that I can't put off.

I phoned the hospital and explained that I am a childminder and couldn't easily get the time off. My appointment was for the middle of the afternoon, which was pretty inconvenient. They managed to fit me in later in the day when most of the children will have gone home. I'll only have one child left so have told his parents that I will either have to finish early, or they can take the whole day off. I know it wasn't ideal for them having to sort something out at short notice, but I had tried to minimise the disruption and I wasn't going to miss my appointment.

If there was any chance of changing your appointment to a more convenient time I would try that, but if not, book the day off and let parents sort themselves out. Your health has to come first :thumbsup:

hectors house
07-11-2015, 10:35 PM
My husband sat in car in the car park with mindees so I could go into A & E with an eye injury, at other times my daughter has sat in waiting room with a child in buggy while I was having physio and another childminder came with me and sat with 3 mindees in the car park at crematorium so I could attend a mid day funeral - I didn't go back to the wake but just wanted to pay my respects. Parents sometimes prefer children to be sat in car for half an hour rather than them have to take time off work - but whatever you decide, please look after yourself FIRST. :thumbsup:

catswhiskers
07-11-2015, 11:00 PM
I feel for you Tinytinker!

I was scheduled for a hospital appointment early September. It took a lot of re-arranging for me to make the appointment as was doing settling in sessions, last days with mindees that were leaving etc. and managed to get a 3 hour slot to go to appointment.

Turned up, waited hour and half, consultant didn't turn up for the clinic! I'd been getting texts a week before saying not turning up to appointments would cost the NHS so much money etc. but then the consultant didn't turn up. Was told by a receptionist that he had gone for lunch and then went home as didn't know he had patients to see (5 of us)! I was gutted!

Next available appointment was six weeks later (last half term) and by this time I was desperate to talk to somebody about my symptoms. Again it took a lot of arranging as just started with two new 1 year olds.

Now I'm waiting for a procedure and hoping the appointment is for a Friday! but I know it won't be.

Simona
08-11-2015, 08:14 AM
Please do not cancel that appointment...maybe your husband can take the children for a playtime with other cms if you can ask them to cover for you.

On occasions like this one we cannot be ruled by our heart and worry about causing inconvenience to parents...talk to the parents and you may find they will come up with a solution.

Good luck with your appointment...I would be more than happy to provide you with cover but I am sure we are far from each other.

mumofone
08-11-2015, 08:15 AM
I am being referred to the boobie clinic and appt is in less than 2 weeks time! so I can't book it as holiday, there would be too many for my hubby to have on his own, and I would be more than 2 hours anyway. sooooo, how do I go about looking after my own health when I'm too busy to? I guess I will have to call them monday to reschedule for a quieter day and give holiday:panic: not wanting too as have a full timer 18mo who will only just be starting in a weeks time - I know for sure her mum will only just be starting her new job and hasn't got any family or even friends (just moved to area) to take their lo :(

Yep good luck, what a horrible situation to be in :-( xx

TinyTinker
08-11-2015, 12:28 PM
appt is at 9.10am! hospital as 30 mins drive away....kids arrive at 7.15am and 5 need taking to school and 3 pre-schoolers would be left here. and one collected at lunchtime........ To get this many kids up the road and back my hubby would need to walk, and then again to do the lunchtime run - which ends up a 40min walk there and back!

Hospital said they don't advise bringing children, as you see consultant and then depending on recommended diagnostic procedure chosen you then have to wait for that -they said to allow all morning! :panic:

gonna see if I can make it a Friday, that way I only have one before/after school and 18mo and my own kids

redtiger21
08-11-2015, 05:52 PM
If you can re-schedule it fine, but otherwise you can take it as sick leave- it's definitely not holiday, so no need for the contractual 4 weeks notice.
I'd text all parents asap explaining the situation and that you're trying to reschedule, but if it's not possible to get one soon at a time suitable for work, then you'll have to take the original appointment. That will prepare them for the possibility of having to sort emergency cover. Good luck xx

Mouse
08-11-2015, 09:39 PM
appt is at 9.10am! hospital as 30 mins drive away....kids arrive at 7.15am and 5 need taking to school and 3 pre-schoolers would be left here. and one collected at lunchtime........ To get this many kids up the road and back my hubby would need to walk, and then again to do the lunchtime run - which ends up a 40min walk there and back!

Hospital said they don't advise bringing children, as you see consultant and then depending on recommended diagnostic procedure chosen you then have to wait for that -they said to allow all morning! :panic:

gonna see if I can make it a Friday, that way I only have one before/after school and 18mo and my own kids

I definitely wouldn't take children for that sort of appointment and don't think you should feel obliged to. At the end of the day, it may be a bit inconvenient for the parents, but the risk of using a childminder is that they may be without care at short notice - I always stress that from the first meeting and advise parents to make sure they have other options available to them.

Good luck with your appointment xx

AliceK
08-11-2015, 10:01 PM
appt is at 9.10am! hospital as 30 mins drive away....kids arrive at 7.15am and 5 need taking to school and 3 pre-schoolers would be left here. and one collected at lunchtime........ To get this many kids up the road and back my hubby would need to walk, and then again to do the lunchtime run - which ends up a 40min walk there and back!

Hospital said they don't advise bringing children, as you see consultant and then depending on recommended diagnostic procedure chosen you then have to wait for that -they said to allow all morning! :panic:

gonna see if I can make it a Friday, that way I only have one before/after school and 18mo and my own kids

Is it the triple test you are having? If so then yes it could take ages. I was there for about 4 hrs so definitely not one for taking the LO's to, too much waiting around.

Good luck with it all and do put yourself first, you must.

xxx

hectors house
09-11-2015, 09:11 AM
Phone today to see if you can get a Friday appointment but if they can't fit you in for a long time then you will have to tell school children parents to make other arrangements for that day. (Maybe if the parents of school children know each other they could help each other out, or are there other childminders that could help you out).

I have recently asked one parent if I can stop doing tea for her son on a Monday (only day I have him) as I have to sit him up at 4 to make sure he has finished by 4.50 (basically he takes so long as he isn't hungry yet), I have said that if I didn't have to do his tea, I could take my dogs out for a walk in the daylight when another mindee goes at 3.30, I said to her that is is safer for me to walk dogs in fields in daylight as I'm not going to be attacked and i'm not so likely to fall over in the dark and break my leg, meaning that she would have to find a new childminder.

It is more beneficial in the long run if you have your appointment now in case you do need treatment, it's better these things are diagnosed early. :thumbsup:

Simona
09-11-2015, 09:17 AM
appt is at 9.10am! hospital as 30 mins drive away....kids arrive at 7.15am and 5 need taking to school and 3 pre-schoolers would be left here. and one collected at lunchtime........ To get this many kids up the road and back my hubby would need to walk, and then again to do the lunchtime run - which ends up a 40min walk there and back!

Hospital said they don't advise bringing children, as you see consultant and then depending on recommended diagnostic procedure chosen you then have to wait for that -they said to allow all morning! :panic:

gonna see if I can make it a Friday, that way I only have one before/after school and 18mo and my own kids

I see you are trying so hard to accommodate all needs but yours is THE most important one.

Parents are entitled to have flexibility from their employer...so if they were to say they needed to take their child to school or preschool that particular morning...their wish would very likely to be granted.

If you can move your apppointment that would be great ...but often it means another long wait to get another one.

On this occasion I would recommend you look after 'number One' and that is you! also your hubby may want to be with you

All the best whatever you decide to do!

JCrakers
09-11-2015, 09:22 AM
I would just cancel the 5 school children if dh can have the 3 little ones.

At the end of the day your health should come before any job. If you were employed you would be able to have time off, you are self employed so you are also entitled to have time off...its your business.

The parents can sort the school run out for 1 morning.. surely. I think you are over thinking things...im sure they will be fine about it.

I'm sure you'll be back for afternoon pick up so its only the morning they will have to take the children to school

OR

Cancel the pick up of the lunchtime child. Can dh take 5 to school? I take 8-9 children to school every morning, its a 10-15min walk? Or tell parents that you cant do school run but dh can take 2-3 older ones. If parents are really, realy stuck then he could take some but not others??

BallyH
09-11-2015, 09:27 AM
I had a hospital appointment at very short notice. I told the parents I was working till 2pm. Every lo was picked up and gone by 1.45pm, which was amazing as the family renowed for being late arrived early unprompted! Friends and neighbours of theirs collected the children. All were either known to me or had written permission and password from parent. I didn't do the school run that afternnoon either. It effected 7 different families and they coped. Lots of concerned parents the following morning asking about my health. It was nice to be appreciated!

TinyTinker
09-11-2015, 01:57 PM
The thing is the only thing in my way is 2 of the children (one being the lunchtime pick up) aren't normally with me on a thursday but are that week as a one of while mum on a training course!

And I can't cancel all of the 5 schoolies as 2 of them are mine, lol.

I ask the mum of the 2 extra if she could possibly make other arrangements, she said her parents are away, her husband isn't allowed time off and she;s not missing her training! so that's it.

I have been trying to get through to sort out alternative appt, but the number I get through to just rings and rings! so getting nowhere but frustrated.

loocyloo
09-11-2015, 02:02 PM
The thing is the only thing in my way is 2 of the children (one being the lunchtime pick up) aren't normally with me on a thursday but are that week as a one of while mum on a training course!

And I can't cancel all of the 5 schoolies as 2 of them are mine, lol.

I ask the mum of the 2 extra if she could possibly make other arrangements, she said her parents are away, her husband isn't allowed time off and she;s not missing her training! so that's it.

I have been trying to get through to sort out alternative appt, but the number I get through to just rings and rings! so getting nowhere but frustrated.

Ok. Now is the time to TELL the mum of the 2 extra that you are now unavailable and will not be working that day. Your health comes first. I'm sure if you were ill, she would be able to sort something out.

Xxx

TinyTinker
09-11-2015, 03:05 PM
yes, to sort it out she will cancel her training course - and I'll never live it down!

kinda put my back up when she knew what appt is, and then said 'I'm not missing my training course!' fine for me to miss an important hospital visit though! as long as she gets training!

why do I bend over backwards so much for my parents - only to find no flexibility in the return:angry:

kellib
09-11-2015, 03:56 PM
Ok. Now is the time to TELL the mum of the 2 extra that you are now unavailable and will not be working that day. Your health comes first. I'm sure if you were ill, she would be able to sort something out. Xxx

Agreed, you were considerate enough to this parent but now is the time you put your foot down and say you will not be working, don't let them walk over you.

Your health has to come first, any decent person would realise that.

hectors house
09-11-2015, 03:58 PM
Spell it out that early diagnoses means less invasive treatment ie: less time off by you and inconvenience to her. Tell her that you (or any childminder could phone her in the morning giving an hours notice for her to find alternative care if you have gone down with a sickness bug - parents really should think about some kind of back up plan.

I bet if it was this mum facing a scary appointment like this one, her husband would be able to take time off work to go and support her, what would she have done with the kids if you hadn't been able to have them for the training course - bet she can find a friend or relative really!

Really hoping obviously for you that you get the all clear after your check up. Do you work closely with any other childminders who could help her out this day and do you have any friends who can take your own children to school?

AliceK
09-11-2015, 06:07 PM
Sometimes we HAVE to take time off without the agreed notice period and this is one of those times. Please do not try to re-arrange your appointment in order to placate this unreasonable woman, really!!!!!:angry: Your health MUST come first. She'll cope with arranging alternative childcare and even if she doesn't, TOUGH. Silly mare :censored:

xxx

TinyTinker
09-11-2015, 07:16 PM
best thing is! she works in the breast screening department doing mammograms! so she should know what it's like:mad:

am working on bending over backwards again (I know I'm a mug) but my parents are taking our own children and then it will be possible to sort minded kids - and other parent is changing their shift to make hours different:)

Maza
09-11-2015, 08:48 PM
Oh Tiny Tinker, I feel like phoning this horrible woman myself on your behalf. I know it's easy for us all to say 'do this and do that', but when it's you in that position it is harder than it looks to put our foot down. If it is going to stress you out by standing up to this family then see if you can work around it somehow, but not by delaying your appointment. Her actions may come back to haunt her. x

AliceK
09-11-2015, 10:08 PM
best thing is! she works in the breast screening department doing mammograms! so she should know what it's like:mad:

am working on bending over backwards again (I know I'm a mug) but my parents are taking our own children and then it will be possible to sort minded kids - and other parent is changing their shift to make hours different:)

Just because she works there doesn't mean she has ever herself felt that heart stopping moment when you find a lump and the stress and anxiety of having all the tests. I hope for her sake she never does but karma is a great thing.

xxx

Tealady
09-11-2015, 11:30 PM
Here child care arrangements are her problem, especially as your doing an "extra" for them. I know that sounds harsh but your health is paramount. With any luck you'll only need one or two appointments and that will be it.

I found a lump in my abdomen a few years ago. Was refered for an ultrasound as urgent and is cascaded from there. I was open with my parents (even blubbed on one Mum). I then had several last minute appointments and then surgery which resulted in two weeks off work. I advised parents as soon as I got the appointments so they could make arrangements but it wasn't that much (3 weeks tops).

I now have follow up appointments (only ever on a Monday as that is clinic day) and have been referred for a MRI after feeling discomfort at the tumour site. Again I told parents to expect me to be unavailable at somepoint. Fortunately this time the MRI is a Friday which I don't work but I wouldn't be postponing for anybody.

I hate having to close for these things and do feel bad, but you need to put yourself first and not have worrying about them on top of everything. Hopefully all that's happened is she's gone into a flat spin worrying about childcare and initially taken it out on you. Hopefully in a day or two she'll realise that she's been unreasonable.

Simona
10-11-2015, 08:43 AM
best thing is! she works in the breast screening department doing mammograms! so she should know what it's like:mad:

am working on bending over backwards again (I know I'm a mug) but my parents are taking our own children and then it will be possible to sort minded kids - and other parent is changing their shift to make hours different:)

It is not clear from your thread whether you need to attend a 'routine' appointment....or whether you have been referred for a check up.
It is a rather personal and delicate issue so I would not expect to be given all the details in this public forum.

Whatever the appointment is about your parents are not required to know all the details...all they are required to do is work in 'partnership' with you.
This is not returning a favour or you bending over backwards ...this is understanding that life can throw unexpected issues in our way and they must always have an emergency plan to cover for their childcare
If we bend over backwards they will expect more and more....just imagine if the situation was reversed.

We are expected to promote 'well being' in children...we must make sure we promote first in ourselves.

Having giving the information to parents I would expect them to come up with a solution for you within days and inform you they have it all 'covered'...and make sure you go to your appointment without a worry.