Asked to do more

[newbie]

A parent has asked me to have her LO an extra 2 days for the next couple of weeks but I just don't want to. It would mean having 4 under 5 that day and with schoolies it would be 6! Plus this LO would need dropping off at preschool too which is at 12:30 but I'm already collecting from preschool at 12:15 which means hanging around there for 15 mins possibly in the rain :(. Plus LO would need lunch before preschool but I don't do lunch untill I have collected the morning preschool run (if that makes sense). The thing is I am finding myself really tired at the moment and have got SOooo much going on on the run up to Xmas too! I told her I would let her know but the more I think about it, the more I don't want to do it. The thing is I'm not sure what to say as if I say no she may ask why and I am getting the guilts!!!

[SYLVIA]

You have the right to say no if you want to. Explain about the pick up time not fitting in and not being workable for you. I'm sure you'd help if it worked out, you're not being awkward. I've had the same and before I would rush about to help out. But I've learnt to say no if it's not convenient. I will help if I can but let's just say I'm a bit choosy now. Parents often don't realise what's involved as they may only have one child to move around whereas you have 6 !!

[hectors house]

A parent has asked me to have her LO an extra 2 days for the next couple of weeks but I just don't want to. It would mean having 4 under 5 that day and with schoolies it would be 6! Plus this LO would need dropping off at preschool too which is at 12:30 but I'm already collecting from preschool at 12:15 which means hanging around there for 15 mins possibly in the rain :(. Plus LO would need lunch before preschool but I don't do lunch untill I have collected the morning preschool run (if that makes sense). The thing is I am finding myself really tired at the moment and have got SOooo much going on on the run up to Xmas too! I told her I would let her know but the more I think about it, the more I don't want to do it. The thing is I'm not sure what to say as if I say no she may ask why and I am getting the guilts!!!

Could you ask the pre-school if you could collect the first child at 12.20 and if they would let you drop off the 2nd child a little early, or could you go into the pre-school at 12.15 and stay there with the children until 12.30? Maybe you could give the extra child a sandwich and some extra fruit at morning snack time - I think if parent was asking for this permanently I would refuse but as it's just 4 times over the next fortnight I would possibly consider it.

[Mouse]

If you really don't want to do it I would just say you were sorry, but having thought about it you're not going to be able to do it.

If she does push it, keep repeating sorry, but you can't. I wouldn't get into any discussion on the difficulties of getting to pre-school etc as parents have a way of talking you round and 'solving' the problem for you. ie. if you use the excuse that you won't be able to keep the children hanging round for 15 minutes, or you won't be able to give them lunch etc, mum will more than likely come up with a way that you can make it work and then what do you do?

If you really need to give her a reason, tell her it will put you over your numbers and you're not going to be able to do that.

[BallyH]

As already mentioned say sorry but it'll put me over my numbers and I can't be doing that.

[Ellisha]

I agree, just say sorry, it doesn't work for you. I am getting better at saying that. I helped a mum out loads recently and then she wanted me to swap days as her little one was ill so could I have her another day. I try to be flexible but need to be firm sometimes.

[Maza]

Just say it doesn't work logistically. She might already have a plan B but you were just her first port of call. She might have been expecting you to say no anyway but thought 'if you don't ask you don't get'. It's terrible how we agonise over things. I remember once a mum wanted to change one of her days and I really didn't want to and would have had to juggle lots of other things to make it work. I hardly slept that night wondering whether or not I should just do it or how to tell her no. In the end, it took DH to just tell me that I was perfectly entitled to just do a straightforward 'no'. Then of course I wrote an email and analysed it for hours. She was totally fine with my decision but was mortified as she could tell that I had been stressing over it. What a lot of time and emotional energy I wasted. x

[redtiger21]

I'd just say sorry it puts me above my adult:child ratio, I'm not allowed x