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Louise_Oaktree
01-10-2015, 11:58 AM
I am struggling with a baby who just doesn't eat, I have him 2 days a week and we are 3 weeks in. He is happy and pleasant but just doesn't eat. He'll be 1 this month.
Parents are doing baby led weaning and I've asked 4 times for a list of foods he will eat only to be told "he eats anything"
He refuses to be spoon fed at all and is on a non dairy diet due to medical issue.
He will drink countless bottles of formula and cups of juice, so much so I'm beginning to think he isn't weaned at all 😟
Maybe I'm out of touch with weaning 😞

BallyH
01-10-2015, 12:21 PM
Would he attempt to put food in his mouth if you put little bits on his highchair tray? If you where eating and he was on your knee, would he attempt to snatch the food off you so he could eat it?

Sounds like he isn't waened and parents want you to do it!

Louise_Oaktree
01-10-2015, 12:23 PM
No 😞

He's in the highchair and I have offered chicken, potato, broccoli, strawberries and he picks it up and throws it on the floor.

Maza
01-10-2015, 01:35 PM
Sounds like he is filling himself up on liquids.

Often, little ones seem to be settled with you (or at nursery, even reception) but the eating tells a different story. I find that with a lot of children the eating is the last thing to fall into place in a new setting.

If the parents are giving you such vague answers then you need to get them in and spoon feed them (pardon the pun) into telling you about his diet. I would have a tick list of foods from the different groups and go through it, item by item, of what he will and won't eat. So, I would have a list of fruit, vegetables, protein (including vegetarian sources), carbs etc etc. They will then wish that they had just provided you with a list, lol!

Then, if they say that he does indeed like chicken/carrots/rice - get them to tell you how they cook it. This little one already has been identified as having a medical issue and so they really need to be more helpful here and you need to have all the information you can get from them.

It might be worth asking them to send in some food for a couple of weeks - but I never know how childminders handle this issue - do they then charge less that week as the parents are providing the food?

Good luck. Let us know how you get on. x

moggy
01-10-2015, 04:00 PM
I'd ask them to supply food, just for a week, so you can really see what baby eats (or is it that he won't eat for you?).
They say 'food's for fun until they're one' with babyled weaning so it is early days.

AliceK
01-10-2015, 04:26 PM
BLW is fantastic and in my experience at that age they will eat most things. I have had lots of children start with me at around 10mths old including one I have at the moment and I do BLW whilst they are here with me. They all feed themselves and I never have a problem wondering what they will / wont eat as they are usually happy to eat most things. I would not however expect a child of nearly one who is weaned to be having any formula during the day with me?? It sounds like yours is filling up on formula, no wonder he won't eat.

xx

Hello you
03-10-2015, 07:16 PM
Hello,

I know exactly what you are living! I am having the same problem with the child I am nannying for, she is 14 months, she is bad with fingers food, she spits the food or keeps it inside her mouth for minutes, and she cries and screams her parents are struggling to keep her eating since she is 9 months, they used to put Peppa Pig to make her swalling the food...
It is a nightmare, I take 1:20 min to finish feeding her, with books, toys around, I am upset as a professional I've never seen it in this level.
She is extremely spoiled, the mother has missed the weaning, she did not know how to do it, because of cultural beliefs she puts curry in her food, and she eats ... But, globally, is a BATTLE!
It is very hard!

hectors house
05-10-2015, 01:22 PM
I do various settling in sessions with the last one before child comes properly being where I ask the parent to come at 12 and bring lunch for the child - parent then sits and feeds the child while I deal with the other children, but I am paying attention to the consistency, amount and temperature of the food and whether baby eats from spoon, fingers, has their own spoon while mum feeds them - it isn't then such an eye opener when child refuses to eat with me and throws food on the floor and I know that is the way child is rather than feel like I'm a failure. 11 month old only ate a few mouthfuls of lunch with her mum here last Friday has just eaten about twice as much fish pie for me today, so I'm feeling rather smug at the moment. :clapping:

bunyip
06-10-2015, 08:44 AM
I have to agree with previous posts................ and I've lost count of the number of children I've been told will "eat anything" and then eat next to nothing.

It does sound very much like mum thinks she pays you to do the weaning with little or no attempt being made at home, though possible lo is uncomfortable eating in any environment outside the home.

I too would ask mum to bring some food in and, if possible, make time to feed the lo herself if a convenient time an be arranged. This might show it's as simple as the size/consistency of food offered, but it sometimes stops mum in her tracks if lo refuses to eat with her present.

My experience of BLW is not good. It seems to be something fashionable the yummies have picked up on from a magazine but then fail to see it through, expecting CMs to put up with all the grief. I understand it can work for some, but IME parents don't know when to stop if it's clearly not working. I've had horrible days preparing food for BLW babies, thinking "why don't I just throw this lot on the floor then bin it, and save you the bother?"

The one child I still have who was BLW-ed is a complete disaster area when it comes to food. Contrary to the propaganda that it encourages a more varied diet, this is the one mindee most likely to refuse what's offered. She's even fussy about the shape of pasta she'll eat. Because she never got used to moving 'mush' around her mouth, she has no idea what to do with her tongue (and I worry this might lead to speech delay). SHe has to poke her findgrs into her mouth to get food to the back where she can swallow it. She constantly bites her tongue, whilst anything liquid (eg, soup) just spills out the corners. :panic:

tess1981
06-10-2015, 10:28 AM
I have to agree with previous posts................ and I've lost count of the number of children I've been told will "eat anything" and then eat next to nothing.

It does sound very much like mum thinks she pays you to do the weaning with little or no attempt being made at home, though possible lo is uncomfortable eating in any environment outside the home.

I too would ask mum to bring some food in and, if possible, make time to feed the lo herself if a convenient time an be arranged. This might show it's as simple as the size/consistency of food offered, but it sometimes stops mum in her tracks if lo refuses to eat with her present.

My experience of BLW is not good. It seems to be something fashionable the yummies have picked up on from a magazine but then fail to see it through, expecting CMs to put up with all the grief. I understand it can work for some, but IME parents don't know when to stop if it's clearly not working. I've had horrible days preparing food for BLW babies, thinking "why don't I just throw this lot on the floor then bin it, and save you the bother?"

The one child I still have who was BLW-ed is a complete disaster area when it comes to food. Contrary to the propaganda that it encourages a more varied diet, this is the one mindee most likely to refuse what's offered. She's even fussy about the shape of pasta she'll eat. Because she never got used to moving 'mush' around her mouth, she has no idea what to do with her tongue (and I worry this might lead to speech delay). SHe has to poke her findgrs into her mouth to get food to the back where she can swallow it. She constantly bites her tongue, whilst anything liquid (eg, soup) just spills out the corners. :panic:

And all these reasons are the reasons I dont and won't support blw... and before anyone says I have to do what the parents want my answer to the parents would be I'm not the cm for them... children learn their use spoons and forks as early as I can get them I am a bit of a stickler for table manners.. children need to learn how to use forks etc for the real world when they go out they go out to eat in public. But this is only my opinion

loocyloo
06-10-2015, 11:32 AM
And all these reasons are the reasons I dont and won't support blw... and before anyone says I have to do what the parents want my answer to the parents would be I'm not the cm for them... children learn their use spoons and forks as early as I can get them I am a bit of a stickler for table manners.. children need to learn how to use forks etc for the real world when they go out they go out to eat in public. But this is only my opinion

I do support BLW but also encourage use of spoons and forks, and adding knives as soon as I can. Very hot on table manners here.

We went out to dinner with friends recently and an almost 13yr old ate a roast dinner with her fingers. She barely seemed to know how to hold, let alone use a knife or fork! It was horrifying. 15yr sibling wasn't much better, but at least had chosen a meal she could eat with her fingers! Scarily mum was a childminder until very recently!

Maza
06-10-2015, 11:50 AM
I think the use of knives and forks is a separate issue to baby led weaning. Yes, the two issues cross over a little bit but it is the general attitude towards food/eating/mealtimes/table manners which have the most influence over what and how a child eats.

Also, (not suggesting anyone does this) but lets not get etiquette and real table manners which come from the heart mixed up. I know someone who is so hot on etiquette but is actually rather rude. Any way, I digress...

FloraDora
07-10-2015, 10:18 PM
BLW+ spoons and fork+ some sloppier 'I feed with a spoon food'= OK!

No long term research that I have found praises BLW.

At my age, long term research is a priority as I have seen so many fads come and go in life and age old routines and experiences come up trumps in the in depth research world.

My personal experience is that you purify ordinary every day family food ( yes takes time and effort!) and spoon feed...child eventually has spoon and you and child feed together...purifying gets less, weaning them onto bigger bits of food.... alongside this finger food is offered too....but grown ups decide not baby what is offered and therefore eaten...no alternatives...perseverence....initially supplemented with milk...then slowly weaned off....
All this equals not fussy eaters...in my experience.
BLW = fussy eater by 8 - in my personal research.....long term research equals 10/15 years !!!!
Given the choice...without any knowledge of what's good and not so good for you...we all would 'choose' to eat what we love....but that isn't the real world...which is about eating a healthy balanced diet.
In what universe do babies know what is good for them??? ........

natlou82
08-10-2015, 05:48 AM
Very interested in this topic, I've not had any BLW children here as yet and I'm not convinced it's a great idea. I think I will be attempting to put any future parents off this method and stick to my usual method (the same as floradoras).

tess1981
08-10-2015, 06:54 AM
I do support BLW but also encourage use of spoons and forks, and adding knives as soon as I can. Very hot on table manners here.

We went out to dinner with friends recently and an almost 13yr old ate a roast dinner with her fingers. She barely seemed to know how to hold, let alone use a knife or fork! It was horrifying. 15yr sibling wasn't much better, but at least had chosen a meal she could eat with her fingers! Scarily mum was a childminder until very recently!

Ahhhhhh I could not watch that without wanting to super glue fork and knife onto her hands lol

Maza
08-10-2015, 08:57 AM
I have no experience of BLW but it's probably one of those things that is interpreted differently by each family. Yes, the puree method takes time, but surely a baby led weaning method would too - I couldn't offer a 6 month old baby food from my plate because of the salt content (and heat/spices) and so would have had to prepare a bland version of my own meal anyway - adding time and creating more washing up! Also, if you do the puree method you should still be led by your baby - they decide how much to eat - if nothing then it's their choice. If they absolutely hate something you don't offer it for a while, when they show you they are competent you increase the texture etc.

I think whatever method you use, if you are making the food yourself (most of the time) and really trying to give your baby a balanced diet then it should be applauded. Is a well thought out baby led weaning method better/worse than a puree method where the parent soley relies on shop bought pureed food?

OP have you had any success with the parents yet? x

Louise_Oaktree
08-10-2015, 05:38 PM
Firstly thank you to everyone for your support and comments. Childminding can be a very lonely career at times and it's great to find out that it's not just me!

Here's what I did:

I have been honest with parents from day 1. I've been upfront and honest about what food I have offered and I've told them that I feel the amount of formula he's having is too much.

I asked Mum to complete the daily diary for a week which she has returned today, the foods ranged from chicken nuggets, chips, pork pie, crisps, fruit sticks (dried packet version) sausage and fish fingers.

I also asked her to provide food (at her expense) which she agreed. She sent sausage mash and beans - he ate the sausage and refused the rest.

I feel happier that I can find something for him to eat whilst I introduce other foods. And from the diary I saw that lunch was at 1pm and his morning bottle as early as 8.30am, not exactly 'mid-morning' like I was told.

The parents response to the amount of formula was because he can't have dairy it's his only source of calcium so I'm going to look into other foods I can suggest.

I refuse to give up!

mumofone
08-10-2015, 06:29 PM
Firstly thank you to everyone for your support and comments. Childminding can be a very lonely career at times and it's great to find out that it's not just me! Here's what I did: I have been honest with parents from day 1. I've been upfront and honest about what food I have offered and I've told them that I feel the amount of formula he's having is too much. I asked Mum to complete the daily diary for a week which she has returned today, the foods ranged from chicken nuggets, chips, pork pie, crisps, fruit sticks (dried packet version) sausage and fish fingers. I also asked her to provide food (at her expense) which she agreed. She sent sausage mash and beans - he ate the sausage and refused the rest. I feel happier that I can find something for him to eat whilst I introduce other foods. And from the diary I saw that lunch was at 1pm and his morning bottle as early as 8.30am, not exactly 'mid-morning' like I was told. The parents response to the amount of formula was because he can't have dairy it's his only source of calcium so I'm going to look into other foods I can suggest. I refuse to give up!

Am I the only one horrified at what this mother had given her one year old child to eat??!! I wouldn't dream of giving my child chicken nuggets and chips and pork pies and crisps!

Maza
08-10-2015, 06:36 PM
Am I the only one horrified at what this mother had given her one year old child to eat??!! I wouldn't dream of giving my child chicken nuggets and chips and pork pies and crisps!

She's giving baby led weaning a very bad name. This is what makes me cross. If she herself had a healthy diet and offered her baby food from their serving plates like oily fish, new potatoes and broccoli then BLW would seem fantastic. As I said, it's the general attitude towards diet and food that impacts the child, not whether it is baby led weaning or puree method. If she was pureeing pork pie and chips we would all dismiss that method too.

Louise_Oaktree
08-10-2015, 07:18 PM
She's giving baby led weaning a very bad name. This is what makes me cross. If she herself had a healthy diet and offered her baby food from their serving plates like oily fish, new potatoes and broccoli then BLW would seem fantastic. As I said, it's the general attitude towards diet and food that impacts the child, not whether it is baby led weaning or puree method. If she was pureeing pork pie and chips we would all dismiss that method too.

I was never questioning their chosen method of weaning, but I did always wonder if what I was offering was different to what he was used to. I'm going to start by making my own fish cakes and go from there but communication was really key to get to the bottom of what the problem was.

Maza
08-10-2015, 07:39 PM
I was never questioning their chosen method of weaning, but I did always wonder if what I was offering was different to what he was used to. I'm going to start by making my own fish cakes and go from there but communication was really key to get to the bottom of what the problem was.

No, I know you weren't questioning the method! Posts often (nearly always!) digress from the original content, lol! Making your own fish cakes sounds like a fabulous and healthy way to address this issue. Maybe I was too quick to judge the mum - maybe she made her own healthy versions of nuggets, chips and fish fingers. There does seem to be a lack of fruit and veg in his diet though.

Like you said, communication was the key. A lot of us on here have mentioned that we used to write down every bit of information we could think of when we were handing over our own children to minders/school etc. and we take it for granted that all parents do the same, but they don't. Well done you for being persistent and getting to the bottom of it. x

hectors house
09-10-2015, 07:38 AM
I have got 2 x 1 year olds just started on different days - I have just been tipping a portion of the meal I have prepared for others into a saucepan and using my stick blender to whizz it down, I know these children should be able to eat mashed food and lumps by now but from what I could see from when parents stayed to lunch feeding children with a meal they brought from home, both babies hardly ate anything, so I prefer to go back a step and get the children used to the taste of my home cooked meals and will then work on the texture once they are settled.

Louise_Oaktree
09-10-2015, 12:15 PM
I've now found out the parent has found a new Childminder and he will be leaving me at half term :( I feel sad for the baby as he is so settled in every other way, I do think their circumstances have dictated the move (they are trying to move out of the area) but I just wondered if anyone had any advice for handover to the new CM? I want to help them if I can so they don't have to start at the beginning like I did.

loocyloo
09-10-2015, 12:34 PM
I've now found out the parent has found a new Childminder and he will be leaving me at half term :( I feel sad for the baby as he is so settled in every other way, I do think their circumstances have dictated the move (they are trying to move out of the area) but I just wondered if anyone had any advice for handover to the new CM? I want to help them if I can so they don't have to start at the beginning like I did.

Good luck.

Can you write a 'transition' document, full of positives, summary of LJ/dev't, saying that 'with encouragement child eats xyz, prefers to use fingers/be fed' etc. And make sure your contact details are on it so childminder can contact you? And ask mum to give it to new minder?