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skyblue
27-07-2015, 07:22 AM
I have a child starting with me in September and I usually offer 2 settling in sessions of 2 hours each (a third if I feel it is needed). The parents have messaged me to arrange but have said they would like the mum to stay for a few hours one day and the dad for a few hours another day so seem to be expecting longer sessions as well. I don't mind them staying for a little while at the first session but I don't really want them staying for a few hours.

I'm not sure how to word this to them so any help would be appreciated. Thank you :-)

Simona
27-07-2015, 07:36 AM
I have a child starting with me in September and I usually offer 2 settling in sessions of 2 hours each (a third if I feel it is needed). The parents have messaged me to arrange but have said they would like the mum to stay for a few hours one day and the dad for a few hours another day so seem to be expecting longer sessions as well. I don't mind them staying for a little while at the first session but I don't really want them staying for a few hours.

I'm not sure how to word this to them so any help would be appreciated. Thank you :-)

We all settle children in differently and the time we allow is also very varied.
Personally I do several sessions with mum or dad to start with ...then they can stay for a shorter time until the child is totally on his own....I ask them to sit in a different room so the child is alone with the other children
I also know many cms who start settling in a month before
Older children tend to settle in quicker but babies need longer....it depends how you want to do it and what works for you.

Mouse
27-07-2015, 07:49 AM
I would email parents along the lines of:

Dear parents

Thank you for your email regarding settling in sessions.
As discussed previously, I offer 2 settling in session for up to 2 hours each session. These sessions allow your child and I to get to know each other and, just as importantly, give parents a first experience of leaving their child in the care of someone new. I appreciate this can be quite daunting at first and fully understand why you may want to stay.

From experience however, I know that having parents stay for an extended period of time during these sessions does not help the child to settle and can in fact cause them more distress in the long run once they realise that their parents won't always be with them when they are in my care. It is much more beneficial for them to see from the outset that they are being left with me but that mummy and daddy will be back for them later. I also need to consider the other children in my care and the affect it would have on them having an unfamiliar adult in the house.

I would suggest that at the first session you stay for no more than 15 minutes, but come back after an hour so we can have a chat about how the session has gone. This would be a good opportunity for you to see how X has settled and to spend half an hour with him/her. On the second session I would suggest a quicker drop off (as will happen once full care starts) and to come back after 1.5hours. Again, this would give you half an hour with X at the end of the session and would give us time to discuss any concerns you may have.

Kinds regards
Etc etc etc.

redtiger21
27-07-2015, 07:50 AM
Hi,
For young children, I encourage at least one session where mum and/or dad stay and LO plays, then I try to come to their own house for paperwork signing, so that I can see LO in their own environment and remind them who I am, then I offer 2 free one-hour sessions where parents are not present. They can make these sessions longer, but would have to pay for the extra hours.
In your case I'd perhaps try to regain a little control here (at the end of the day you are running a setting), so I'd say mum and dad are very welcome to book 30-min stay and play sessions on X and Y dates, then you'd like to book LO in for his/her free settling in sessions x

bunyip
27-07-2015, 10:19 AM
I would email parents along the lines of:

Dear parents

Thank you for your email regarding settling in sessions.
As discussed previously, I offer 2 settling in session for up to 2 hours each session. These sessions allow your child and I to get to know each other and, just as importantly, give parents a first experience of leaving their child in the care of someone new. I appreciate this can be quite daunting at first and fully understand why you may want to stay.

From experience however, I know that having parents stay for an extended period of time during these sessions does not help the child to settle and can in fact cause them more distress in the long run once they realise that their parents won't always be with them when they are in my care. It is much more beneficial for them to see from the outset that they are being left with me but that mummy and daddy will be back for them later. I also need to consider the other children in my care and the affect it would have on them having an unfamiliar adult in the house.

I would suggest that at the first session you stay for no more than 15 minutes, but come back after an hour so we can have a chat about how the session has gone. This would be a good opportunity for you to see how X has settled and to spend half an hour with him/her. On the second session I would suggest a quicker drop off (as will happen once full care starts) and to come back after 1.5hours. Again, this would give you half an hour with X at the end of the session and would give us time to discuss any concerns you may have.

Kinds regards
Etc etc etc.

Jolly good. :thumbsup: Much more restrained than my version:-

Dear Numbnuts,

Please explain how your Little Prince/ss is going to get used to you not being here by..............er.............well..............e r...............you being here?

I will need to know how long you wish the sessions to be so I can include the hours on your invoice. My fees are:-
Child £5ph
Adult £25ph*
(First hour free, for child only.)

* includes juice and a rusk

Yours sincerely,

etc.

:D

mumofone
27-07-2015, 10:23 AM
Jolly good. :thumbsup: Much more restrained than my version:- Dear Numbnuts, Please explain how your Little Prince/ss is going to get used to you not being here by..............er.............well..............e r...............you being here? I will need to know how long you wish the sessions to be so I can include the hours on your invoice. My fees are:- Child £5ph Adult £25ph* (First hour free, for child only.) * includes juice and a rusk Yours sincerely, etc. :D

Haha lol! :-)

skyblue
27-07-2015, 11:16 AM
Thank you for all your replies. I definitely need to start as I mean to go on and re-gain control!

As much as I would love to send them Bunyip's brilliant response, I think I will probably use Mouse's. Haha!

Mouse
27-07-2015, 11:41 AM
Thank you for all your replies. I definitely need to start as I mean to go on and re-gain control!

As much as I would love to send them Bunyip's brilliant response, I think I will probably use Mouse's. Haha!

We're like good cop, bad cop :laughing:

Lal
27-07-2015, 12:30 PM
Jolly good. :thumbsup: Much more restrained than my version:-

Dear Numbnuts,

Please explain how your Little Prince/ss is going to get used to you not being here by..............er.............well..............e r...............you being here?

I will need to know how long you wish the sessions to be so I can include the hours on your invoice. My fees are:-
Child £5ph
Adult £25ph*
(First hour free, for child only.)

* includes juice and a rusk

Yours sincerely,

etc.

:D

Bunyip- I must remember not to read you posts while eating. Now need to clean my laptop :laughing:

bunyip
27-07-2015, 04:40 PM
Thank you for all your replies. I definitely need to start as I mean to go on and re-gain control!

As much as I would love to send them Bunyip's brilliant response, I think I will probably use Mouse's. Haha!

....I would. ;)

bunyip
27-07-2015, 04:40 PM
We're like good cop, bad cop :laughing:

You hold them down; I'll use the rubber truncheon. :rolleyes:

bunyip
27-07-2015, 04:41 PM
Bunyip- I must remember not to read you posts while eating. Now need to clean my laptop :laughing:

Sorry! ......................... :o

natlou82
27-07-2015, 05:38 PM
I love Bunyips response lol! But yes Mouse's response is spot on. I don't like people watching me work, makes me very nervous and certainly not natural. I agree the parents need to get used to leaving LO.

catswhiskers
27-07-2015, 08:51 PM
It would be very awkward too (having mum or dad there) if you've also got other kids to look after. I wouldn't feel comfortable.