Advice needed

[windles]

Could really do with some advice everything at the moment is a mess and i am being walked over by everyone and I just do not know what to do.
I work from 7 am to 6.30pm Mon to Fri. I have an assistant who works 24 hours a week and I have just taken on my daughter for 30 hours a week this was all supposed to make my life easier.
My daughter is meant to start at 10am but never does she is always going in the garden to make phone calls.My assistant started at 12 yesterday walked in put her bag down and then walked straight out again to drop something to her mum that lives across the road. She then came back again and within 10 minutes her and my daughter are at the end of my garden having a fag break. I know this is all my fault but i just do not have the energy to stand up for myself at the moment my hubby is constantly having a go at me about people walking all over me. My house is a total mess and I want to cry anyone comes into the house my other 2 sons aged 20 and 22 just treat the place like a hotel they cant even be bothered to wash up a cup let alone pick up their rubbish. Im under the doctor because of me being overweight and that just makes me feel worse.

Im sorry if I am rambling on but I really dont know what to do or where to start.

Susie.:(

[Fitrix]

Could really do with some advice everything at the moment is a mess and i am being walked over by everyone and I just do not know what to do.
I work from 7 am to 6.30pm Mon to Fri. I have an assistant who works 24 hours a week and I have just taken on my daughter for 30 hours a week this was all supposed to make my life easier.
My daughter is meant to start at 10am but never does she is always going in the garden to make phone calls.My assistant started at 12 yesterday walked in put her bag down and then walked straight out again to drop something to her mum that lives across the road. She then came back again and within 10 minutes her and my daughter are at the end of my garden having a fag break. I know this is all my fault but i just do not have the energy to stand up for myself at the moment my hubby is constantly having a go at me about people walking all over me. My house is a total mess and I want to cry anyone comes into the house my other 2 sons aged 20 and 22 just treat the place like a hotel they cant even be bothered to wash up a cup let alone pick up their rubbish. Im under the doctor because of me being overweight and that just makes me feel worse.

Im sorry if I am rambling on but I really dont know what to do or where to start.

Susie.:(


Hi susie, you poor gal. I feel your frustration!

A couple of things occurred to me. Firstly - great advise lollipop kid gave re getting a new assistant. Secondly - I love my children dearly and dread the day they leave but if they are still around at age 20+ they will be contributing financially and physically to the running of the house!! Are you taking on so much work because you are supporting your children who should be independents by now? Maybe you could make some ground rules there too?
It's not easy to stand up for yourself if you're not that way inclined so you need support - from this forum if nowhere else? Or do you have a friend/relative who can help you?
It's also very difficult to change hours /days with parents once you've agreed without risking losing the business - it's a tricky one. Could you maybe make a list of the things that stress you the most and prioritise them. Then see which if any you can change/sort? Take it one step at a time. And don't beat yourself up about any of it - especially your weight. It's important you look after you and care about yourself. The weight will sort itself if you yourself are sorted!
Let us know if you need more help/support.

[greenfaerie]

Oh that all sounds really rotten. :( If you are feeling really awful could you not ask your husband to talk to your daughter? If her and your assistant are meant to be helping you then I would start delegating immediately and also come up with some ground rules that benefit you. Say there have been changes in policies, say you've had parents make requests, whatever you want to say to make you feel better about whipping them into shape. If this was me I would start at the top and bring in absolute house rules that apply to anyone in contact with the children and the running of your business. Related, are they even allowed to smoke in the back of the garden? Were the children there? O_o

And your sons should be picking up after themselves. I hate seeing Mums really put upon by their adult kids, it's such a shame. I really feel for you and hope you get things sorted soon. xx