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View Full Version : Wool pulled over my eyes, aaaagh!



Maza
05-05-2015, 03:42 PM
My most challenging mindee goes on holiday in a couple of weeks and I have to say I was so chuffed when mum told me. I have had him for nearly four years and they have almost always booked a holiday after I have announced my dates, so therefore our holidays have coincided but they haven't had to pay for time off. No problem as they are not breaking any rules doing that.

Anyway, I have him every other Monday (plus other days). Mum occasionally swaps one of his Mondays off with another Monday if she has to go to a meeting. No problem. Mum emailed me and asked if I could have him on the Monday before he goes on holiday instead of such and such a date. I said yes, no problem, mourning the loss of my day without him but thinking the extra money would come in handy. Stupidly, stupidly, stupidly I have only just realised the date she wants off is not a Monday, she has gone and swapped it with a Tuesday when she is away on holiday. I am gutted - I will be working an extra day with my loud mindee who just irritates my DD and I won't have any extra money after all. It's all my own fault but I do feel she is taking advantage of my good nature. I feel that she deliberately didn't mention the fact that it was a Tuesday (just emailed the date). I honestly feel that she begrudges paying me whilst she is on holiday and tried to grab back at least one day. I am sure she did something similar with the only other holiday she took when I was working. Hubby will be annoyed with me for being so STUPID. Will I ever learn?

VeggieSausage
05-05-2015, 04:06 PM
tricky, I think we should learn to say I will get back to you ....I say yes before thinking it through too!!!!

loocyloo
05-05-2015, 04:16 PM
Is it too late to phone her and say you made a mistake? You thought she wanted the Monday which you can do, but you have other commitments and can't have child on the Tuesday.

JCrakers
05-05-2015, 04:17 PM
Its not too late.....If I was you I would contact her again and say something along the lines of

'Ive just had a quick look at that date again and after thinking automatically that it was a Monday I realise that it is in fact a Tuesday and unfortunately I'm unable to swap'

That's what I would do :thumbsup:

Maza
05-05-2015, 04:24 PM
tricky, I think we should learn to say I will get back to you ....I say yes before thinking it through too!!!!

I always give that exact advice to new childminders!! Need to practice what I preach. I just expect people to have the same ethics as me (having re-read the email I'm convinced she worded it in a way that I might not realise what I would be agreeing to). Forgot to say I won't have any other mindees on the extra day that I am having him so I give up my day off for no extra cash. As I say, I only have myself to blame.

KatieFS
05-05-2015, 04:40 PM
Yes I'd say sorry just double checked the date and no longer can help.
I have learnt not to be so helpful with parents as sadly many of them have taken advantage.

Mouse
05-05-2015, 04:41 PM
I would get back in touch and say "Hi, sorry didn't realise that day was a Tuesday, so obviously can't swap that for a Monday. Will still be able to have X on the Monday at the usual rate of £x"

If I thought someone was deliberately trying to con me I wouldn't let them get away with it!

KatieFS
05-05-2015, 04:41 PM
Sorry meant to say so when parents ask for something I say - can I get back to you on that. Just gives me time to think it through first

sing-low
05-05-2015, 04:55 PM
You are busy on that day - you have made an appointment with yourself (to relax, get a hair cut, read a book, stare into space, catch up on paperwork (lol!), get some exercise...). Don't give that up for no extra money.

lollipop kid
05-05-2015, 05:04 PM
My most challenging mindee goes on holiday in a couple of weeks and I have to say I was so chuffed when mum told me. I have had him for nearly four years and they have almost always booked a holiday after I have announced my dates, so therefore our holidays have coincided but they haven't had to pay for time off. No problem as they are not breaking any rules doing that.

Anyway, I have him every other Monday (plus other days). Mum occasionally swaps one of his Mondays off with another Monday if she has to go to a meeting. No problem. Mum emailed me and asked if I could have him on the Monday before he goes on holiday instead of such and such a date. I said yes, no problem, mourning the loss of my day without him but thinking the extra money would come in handy. Stupidly, stupidly, stupidly I have only just realised the date she wants off is not a Monday, she has gone and swapped it with a Tuesday when she is away on holiday. I am gutted - I will be working an extra day with my loud mindee who just irritates my DD and I won't have any extra money after all. It's all my own fault but I do feel she is taking advantage of my good nature. I feel that she deliberately didn't mention the fact that it was a Tuesday (just emailed the date). I honestly feel that she begrudges paying me whilst she is on holiday and tried to grab back at least one day. I am sure she did something similar with the only other holiday she took when I was working. Hubby will be annoyed with me for being so STUPID. Will I ever learn?

Maza, agree with everyone else. Email the lady and explain that you can't swap for the Tuesday due to a pre-existing appointment, but are happy to swap for the Monday if it helps.

(Your note reminds me of something my old Mum used to say. She was a Tram conductress and she always said: "Always remember, when money is involved, you are dealing with the public. Never give the public an inch. They are all out to shaft you because "they're all :censored:". )

:laughing:

Go for it, girl!

L

Mummits
05-05-2015, 05:31 PM
Totally agree with the ladies above. I'd definitely get back to her and say sorry you had assumed she wanted to swap a monday and that you can't offer a space on the Tuesday. If pressed I'd say a prior engagement, but really none of her business. Serve her right for trying to trick you.

Mummits
06-05-2015, 08:10 AM
I've just reread your original post and think I may have misunderstood. Is she trying to swap a Tuesday when she has booked holiday for a Monday? If so, I think I'd also be tempted to reply that (after checking your diary) as she has already booked holiday for the Tuesday, you would not have been expecting him that day anyway, and that unfortunately you are not able to offer an extra day on the Monday as you have a prior engagement.

Maza
06-05-2015, 08:39 AM
I've just reread your original post and think I may have misunderstood. Is she trying to swap a Tuesday when she has booked holiday for a Monday? If so, I think I'd also be tempted to reply that (after checking your diary) as she has already booked holiday for the Tuesday, you would not have been expecting him that day anyway, and that unfortunately you are not able to offer an extra day on the Monday as you have a prior engagement.

Yes, your second post is correct. I am always happy to rearrange his Mondays off (I usually have him every other Monday, but occasionally have him two Mondays on the run and then two Mondays off on the run if mum has a meeting etc). So I thought she was doing this. However, the date that she wants to take off is a Tuesday, and not another Monday. I wouldn't be having him on that Tuesday anyway because he will be in the Caribbean, but I should be getting paid anyway for the Tuesday, as in my contract. I have stupidly agreed to let her have that day off without paying me. If she had asked me if I could do an 'extra day' then no problem, she expects to get charged for extra days, but I agreed to a 'swap' and have shot myself in the foot. I fell like I am being greedy by expecting to be paid whilst they are on holiday.

lollipop kid
06-05-2015, 08:46 AM
Yes, your second post is correct. I am always happy to rearrange his Mondays off (I usually have him every other Monday, but occasionally have him two Mondays on the run and then two Mondays off on the run if mum has a meeting etc). So I thought she was doing this. However, the date that she wants to take off is a Tuesday, and not another Monday. I wouldn't be having him on that Tuesday anyway because he will be in the Caribbean, but I should be getting paid anyway for the Tuesday, as in my contract. I have stupidly agreed to let her have that day off without paying me. If she had asked me if I could do an 'extra day' then no problem, she expects to get charged for extra days, but I agreed to a 'swap' and have shot myself in the foot. I fell like I am being greedy by expecting to be paid whilst they are on holiday.

Depending on your relationship with her, I'd be tempted to tell her: "Nice try, no cigar!" and add this day to my paid holidays bill (or whatever you do). I run a spreadsheet, which I use as a reconciliation. As well as matching days paid (totalled at the bottom) against days owing (totalled at the bottom), it also allows me to track holiday (again totalled at the bottom) and retainers on it (where applicable), so any time there's a dispute, I print this off and give a copy to the parents with their invoice, which shows amount to be paid on it and holiday used to date etc. (It was a tactic I used to bill clients when I was a media professional - don't ask!)

Stand up for yourself or she'll keep doing stuff like this. Don't let her treat you like the proverbial. (She wouldn't get away with this in a Nursery, for example! Why should you allow her to treat you any different?) You're bending over backwards as it is - I personally NEVER allow parents to swap dates and that goes for holiday as well.

Hope it helps. Big hug (and sorry if this sounds like a rant on your behalf!!)

L

Maza
06-05-2015, 10:29 AM
Depending on your relationship with her, I'd be tempted to tell her: "Nice try, no cigar!" and add this day to my paid holidays bill (or whatever you do). I run a spreadsheet, which I use as a reconciliation. As well as matching days paid (totalled at the bottom) against days owing (totalled at the bottom), it also allows me to track holiday (again totalled at the bottom) and retainers on it (where applicable), so any time there's a dispute, I print this off and give a copy to the parents with their invoice, which shows amount to be paid on it and holiday used to date etc. (It was a tactic I used to bill clients when I was a media professional - don't ask!)

Stand up for yourself or she'll keep doing stuff like this. Don't let her treat you like the proverbial. (She wouldn't get away with this in a Nursery, for example! Why should you allow her to treat you any different?) You're bending over backwards as it is - I personally NEVER allow parents to swap dates and that goes for holiday as well.

Hope it helps. Big hug (and sorry if this sounds like a rant on your behalf!!)

L

Thank you. I guess like many childminders I have now learnt the hard way that even the sweetest parents use you as a business arrangement as and when it suits. I'd better buck up some courage and write that email. I'm cross with myself for allowing myself to be put in this position and wasting so much mental/emotional energy on it. It stings more because this mindee (bless him) runs me ragged, bickers with DD and his parents do the loudest, most inconsiderate drop offs and pick ups in the world. He is sent in when he is ill etc etc and so the thought of having a little holiday from the family was wonderful - as unprofessional as that sounds. I do still of course get my little holiday from them but this has put a dampener on it. x

lollipop kid
06-05-2015, 11:07 AM
Thank you. I guess like many childminders I have now learnt the hard way that even the sweetest parents use you as a business arrangement as and when it suits. I'd better buck up some courage and write that email. I'm cross with myself for allowing myself to be put in this position and wasting so much mental/emotional energy on it. It stings more because this mindee (bless him) runs me ragged, bickers with DD and his parents do the loudest, most inconsiderate drop offs and pick ups in the world. He is sent in when he is ill etc etc and so the thought of having a little holiday from the family was wonderful - as unprofessional as that sounds. I do still of course get my little holiday from them but this has put a dampener on it. x

Good for you, Maza. I'd also include in the email something along the lines of:

"In order to save any further confusion on either side, I am writing to let you know that I will no longer be able to swap dates for you. Therefore, please be aware that, for those occasions when your child cannot attend on a contracted date, for whatever reason, the space is still payable. However, I will continue to consider any additional dates that you might require, for which my usual daily rate will apply. Best wishes, etc."

Then print it out and pin it to their contract.

:thumbsup:

Good luck,

L