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mumofone
03-05-2015, 06:38 AM
What happens if one family wants you to do their child dinner but another doesn't? How does that work with the children? Do they just have to accept they are not getting dinner or does it cause problems?

moggy
03-05-2015, 07:08 AM
I avoid these problems by having food included with in my fees (so no one opting out of meals because of cost).

I serve dinner at 5pm and if they are here they get dinner (I will not have some at the table eating and some not at the table because they eat at home, I need to supervise all so all sit at the table).

If they do not want dinner they need to pick-up before 5pm. I have always made this clear to new parents and never had a problem.

natlou82
03-05-2015, 07:23 AM
I do exactly the same as Moggy. All meals are included in my fees. If children are picked up before 5pm they will not get Dinner. Otherwise I kindly ask parents to pick up after 5:30 as to not disturb dinner. All of the children I care for have dinner here.

loocyloo
03-05-2015, 07:56 AM
I provide all meals, included in my costs.

We eat at 4.30 as I have children collected from 5.15 onwards. I have had the occasional parent who doesn't want their child to have 'tea' as such, so they have a snack, but it is usually a component of the main meal, or a very small portion! again, everyone sits at the table. the only exception to this is a baby who is on a different routine, but I usually quickly bring them round to my routine, plus I've yet to find a baby who ( if awake! ) doesn't want food if everyone else is eating!

I also say no collections between 4.30 and 5.15.


I was just thinking about it, and at the moment meals are a moveable feast - as DD and other schoolies do clubs a couple of afternoons and so we have tea a little later to accommodate them ( although I have a LO who just couldn't wait those extra 15 minutes, so he has tea earlier before we collect the schoolies! ) and then another afternoon, we have tea earlier as DD ( and a schoolie ) have an early dance class! but it works!!!

FloraDora
03-05-2015, 09:25 AM
I provide lunch, but not dinner.
I provide an afternoon snack, which keeps them going until they get home and have a family dinner.
My dinner is at 6.30 if any child is here they are welcome to share it at no extra cost - this has happened once.

Like others have implied, I think you need to have one system, you all eat food provided by you, or they all bring a packed dinner.
I personally would not want lunch / dinner box envy and so think it's better to provide for everyone within the hourly/ daily costs. I wouldn't want a situation where I have several meals to prepare from a lunch box, heating up, opening and serving etc...

I personally think though that children should be having a meal at home with parents, it's important for families. If you can pick your child up before 5.30 then you have time, with organisation to have a meal together at night.
so perhaps your parent that doesn't want child to have evening meal at the childminders early wants to have a meal at home together?
It must be tricky for parents when choosing a CM - they might want an evening meal as a priority and what the child does activity wise, secondary. Or they might like that the activities are priority and eating secondary, they might like a CM but not the fact that they don't provide meals or they might go with the meal but not be so keen that the CM is occupied for part of that time preparing a meal....I have put off parents because of meal not being provided I know one has chosen me because of me, but loves it if the snack has been more substantial, left over pizza from lunch rather than crackers because they want their child to be in bed as soon as poss.

bunyip
03-05-2015, 10:21 AM
I provide lunch, but not dinner.
I provide an afternoon snack, which keeps them going until they get home and have a family dinner.
My dinner is at 6.30 if any child is here they are welcome to share it at no extra cost - this has happened once.

Like others have implied, I think you need to have one system, you all eat food provided by you, or they all bring a packed dinner.
I personally would not want lunch / dinner box envy and so think it's better to provide for everyone within the hourly/ daily costs. I wouldn't want a situation where I have several meals to prepare from a lunch box, heating up, opening and serving etc...

I personally think though that children should be having a meal at home with parents, it's important for families. If you can pick your child up before 5.30 then you have time, with organisation to have a meal together at night.
so perhaps your parent that doesn't want child to have evening meal at the childminders early wants to have a meal at home together?
It must be tricky for parents when choosing a CM - they might want an evening meal as a priority and what the child does activity wise, secondary. Or they might like that the activities are priority and eating secondary, they might like a CM but not the fact that they don't provide meals or they might go with the meal but not be so keen that the CM is occupied for part of that time preparing a meal....I have put off parents because of meal not being provided I know one has chosen me because of me, but loves it if the snack has been more substantial, left over pizza from lunch rather than crackers because they want their child to be in bed as soon as poss.

I agree. Same reasons why I do one simple system: I provide food, it's included in the cost so the only choice - take it or leave it. :thumbsup:

Btw, do you mean proper "dinner" at dinner time as in civilised parts, or this weird Midlands/Northern thing of having "dinner" at "lunch time"? :p

FloraDora
03-05-2015, 11:05 AM
I agree. Same reasons why I do one simple system: I provide food, it's included in the cost so the only choice - take it or leave it. :thumbsup:

Btw, do you mean proper "dinner" at dinner time as in civilised parts, or this weird Midlands/Northern thing of having "dinner" at "lunch time"? :p

I grew up with dinner at lunch time - and tea at teatime, but I was a free school meal child- then went to university and realised there was such a thing as 'lunch'. I loved it , salads that had more than cucumber and tomato and lettuce, pate!! (Although my mum did make 'potted meat' which was the same except it had a horrible name. ) quiche ( our version- bacon and egg pie - but it had a top) crudités - not cooked veg?? , open sanwiches, a variety of bread - not just sliced white. My biggest discovery was mushrooms and pasta. Can you imagine a world without pasta? So I left after 3 years and had become a lunch and dinner person....teatime cakes tended to be eaten at coffe time in the morning, my parents thought I had become 'posh'. Food was fuel.
So I am a Midlands person, but now have a ' light lunch ' meal and a bigger dinner in the evening- though, the experts do say that you shouldn't eat late. I love the wind down after a day at work , music on, together preparing with DH. We don't eat fancy meals midweek, but enjoy the togetherness of deciding and chatting as we cook. By the time we have eaten and cleared the table then a big part of the evening has gone though, but as we don't watch much TV it doesn't bother us. Far from the food fuel scenario.

FussyElmo
03-05-2015, 12:05 PM
I agree. Same reasons why I do one simple system: I provide food, it's included in the cost so the only choice - take it or leave it. :thumbsup:

Btw, do you mean proper "dinner" at dinner time as in civilised parts, or this weird Midlands/Northern thing of having "dinner" at "lunch time"? :p

Im being strange and having dinner for lunch :laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing:

And we will be having tea later :thumbsup:

Maza
03-05-2015, 01:15 PM
We digress! Being a Northerner I was also a dinner and tea girl. When I moved down south I became a lunch and dinner girl - and yes, Floradora, my family also thought I had 'got all posh' because of it! I had friends at uni who would use the word 'supper' for their evening meal - I never got that!

It's the same with trousers and pants...

bunyip
03-05-2015, 01:26 PM
Ah, that got the discussion going. :rolleyes:

Now, time for tea................and scones (..............however you pronounce them.) :D

Mouse
03-05-2015, 01:33 PM
We digress! Being a Northerner I was also a dinner and tea girl. When I moved down south I became a lunch and dinner girl - and yes, Floradora, my family also thought I had 'got all posh' because of it! I had friends at uni who would use the word 'supper' for their evening meal - I never got that!



I'm originally a southerner, so grew up with lunch and dinner (a cooked evening meal) or tea (a lighter meal, usually cold, so sandwiches, quiche etc)

Now I'm further north I'm often told I'm posh because we have lunch. All my mindees call it lunch - one mum told me they laugh at home because lo will tell them off for calling it dinner not lunch!

Mouse
03-05-2015, 01:37 PM
Ah, that got the discussion going. :rolleyes:

Now, time for tea................and scones (..............however you pronounce them.) :D

That causes more arguments in our family than any discussion on religion or politics!!

I'm a 'rhymes with con' girl whereas the rest of the family are very much in the 'rhymes with cone' camp :rolleyes:

bunyip
03-05-2015, 01:52 PM
That causes more arguments in our family than any discussion on religion or politics!!

I'm a 'rhymes with con' girl whereas the rest of the family are very much in the 'rhymes with cone' camp :rolleyes:

:laughing:

I think I'm the only person on the planet who pronounces "scone" to rhyme with "spoon".

My reasoning is that they make lovely scones in Scotland, where the 'Stone of Destiny' is also known as "The Stoon of Scoon". :clapping:

Lal
03-05-2015, 02:33 PM
It doesn't matter how you say it. What's important is that you make a proper job of scone and put the jam on first and then the Cornish clotted cream :)

FloraDora
03-05-2015, 05:37 PM
It doesn't matter how you say it. What's important is that you make a proper job of scone and put the jam on first and then the Cornish clotted cream :)

I say scone rhyming with con but have a preference for cheese scon ,chilli jam ( home made) and mascopone cheese ...my parents would not have approved!

bunyip
03-05-2015, 06:18 PM
I say scone rhyming with con but have a preference for cheese scon ,chilli jam ( home made) and mascopone cheese ...my parents would not have approved!

Out-flippin'-standing. :clapping:

(Do you do deliveries?) :D

FloraDora
03-05-2015, 07:15 PM
Out-flippin'-standing. :clapping:

(Do you do deliveries?) :D

If you are ever nearby I will serve you - but will it be elevenses, light lunch or an afternoon snack?? Currently we don't do home delivery...but we do provide 'take aways' - DH often does the M&S meal deal equivalent for £7 - home made elderflower wine included - Friday night take away for our parents - they love it.

JoRo163
04-05-2015, 08:10 AM
I avoid these problems by having food included with in my fees (so no one opting out of meals because of cost). I serve dinner at 5pm and if they are here they get dinner (I will not have some at the table eating and some not at the table because they eat at home, I need to supervise all so all sit at the table). If they do not want dinner they need to pick-up before 5pm. I have always made this clear to new parents and never had a problem.

This is what I do, and never had any probs!

Simona
04-05-2015, 08:20 AM
What happens if one family wants you to do their child dinner but another doesn't? How does that work with the children? Do they just have to accept they are not getting dinner or does it cause problems?

If you include meals in your fees then you could offer a snack to the child whose parents do not wish you to provide dinner for and children would accept that.
If that is explained then the child can sit with all the children....this happens at school I think...those who have school lunch provided free sit along those who do not.

hectors house
05-05-2015, 08:22 AM
If you are ever nearby I will serve you - but will it be elevenses, light lunch or an afternoon snack?? Currently we don't do home delivery...but we do provide 'take aways' - DH often does the M&S meal deal equivalent for £7 - home made elderflower wine included - Friday night take away for our parents - they love it.

When I say to the parents that their child has had eg: home made lamb tagine or fish pie, they often say they wish they could come for lunch - maybe I could make extra and offer a take away option. :thumbsup:

FloraDora
05-05-2015, 12:54 PM
When I say to the parents that their child has had eg: home made lamb tagine or fish pie, they often say they wish they could come for lunch - maybe I could make extra and offer a take away option. :thumbsup:

My parents love it - we only do it on a Friday, but have been asked for other days too so I think if we got it organised it could be a good little earner.

Parents order his Victoria sponge sometimes too, but we usually make that with the children so it doubles up as an activity - though my 4 year old LO does love to watch him syphon ing the wine, he wants to help but we can't be seen to be encouraging this, I am a little paranoid about this and if he says the wine needs bottling I try to make sure we are out, much to the LO's dissapointment. The wine is well liked by Parents too, but given and not charged for.

hectors house
05-05-2015, 03:23 PM
My parents love it - we only do it on a Friday, but have been asked for other days too so I think if we got it organised it could be a good little earner.

Parents order his Victoria sponge sometimes too, but we usually make that with the children so it doubles up as an activity - though my 4 year old LO does love to watch him syphon ing the wine, he wants to help but we can't be seen to be encouraging this, I am a little paranoid about this and if he says the wine needs bottling I try to make sure we are out, much to the LO's dissapointment. The wine is well liked by Parents too, but given and not charged for.

Parents do enjoy the cakes we make for activities and always buy cakes that I make to sell for fundraising - we have our own hens and often have too many eggs - maybe I could make cakes too sell to the parents, I know one parent in particular has a very sweet tooth. :thumbsup: We are also currently making sloe gin but I suppose we would need a license to sell that - hence why you give yours away.

bunyip
05-05-2015, 05:41 PM
If you include meals in your fees then you could offer a snack to the child whose parents do not wish you to provide dinner for and children would accept that.
If that is explained then the child can sit with all the children....this happens at school I think...those who have school lunch provided free sit along those who do not.

Wow. I admit at last to some evidence of progress in education in the last 40 years (beyond an improvement in the standard of graffiti.)

In my day, we free school mealers were obliged to sit in what the dinner ladies not unsympathetically called "Poverty Corner". :D

FloraDora
05-05-2015, 06:08 PM
Wow. I admit at last to some evidence of progress in education in the last 40 years (beyond an improvement in the standard of graffiti.)

In my day, we free school mealers were obliged to sit in what the dinner ladies not unsympathetically called "Poverty Corner". :D

Oh my goodness, how awful!
I was a free school meal child and had to sit with the other free mealers, on a family like table, I knew everyone knew I got my dinner free and in low moments would get teased about it by other children but to my knowledge they didn't call us names.

Thank goodness we have come along way since then!

Mouse
05-05-2015, 08:01 PM
I can remember being really jealous of the kids getting free school meals!

I don't think I realised why they were getting free meals - I just thought they were really lucky!

bunyip
05-05-2015, 08:09 PM
Oh my goodness, how awful!
I was a free school meal child and had to sit with the other free mealers, on a family like table, I knew everyone knew I got my dinner free and in low moments would get teased about it by other children but to my knowledge they didn't call us names.

Thank goodness we have come along way since then!

You know, somehow we survived all this stuff that, these days, would be seen as some kind of abusive persecution. I don't think it bothered us one little bit, or that we even so much as noticed.

All of which still leaves me scrabbling around desperately for the real reason why I'm so psychologically distoibed. :D

Maza
05-05-2015, 08:44 PM
It's madness when you think back isn't it? I wasn't a free school meals child but my two best friends were. We were allowed to sit on the same table but they had to line up separately to get ticked off on the 'list'. None of us batted an eyelid, but there must have been someone out there who felt totally humiliated. I know we have gone too 'PC' in some ways now, but the school dinner scenario we have all described had to go!

My two friends also got uniform grants and so each September turned up in new uniforms. I didn't have a new uniform one year and remember being so 'ashamed'. My 'friend' even ridiculed me!

loocyloo
06-05-2015, 06:08 AM
It's madness when you think back isn't it? I wasn't a free school meals child but my two best friends were. We were allowed to sit on the same table but they had to line up separately to get ticked off on the 'list'. None of us batted an eyelid, but there must have been someone out there who felt totally humiliated. I know we have gone too 'PC' in some ways now, but the school dinner scenario we have all described had to go!

My two friends also got uniform grants and so each September turned up in new uniforms. I didn't have a new uniform one year and remember being so 'ashamed'. My 'friend' even ridiculed me!

I used to have new uniform each sept and always bought my children new uniform each year ... and then a few years ago I suddenly thought 'why am I doing this?' Everything still fits and I get new throughout the year if needed! It was so freeing!

FussyElmo
06-05-2015, 06:46 AM
I used to have new uniform each sept and always bought my children new uniform each year ... and then a few years ago I suddenly thought 'why am I doing this?' Everything still fits and I get new throughout the year if needed! It was so freeing!

Must admit I only buy the eldest 2 as and when they need it.

The youngest 2 seem to like having that growth spurt in the summer just so I have to buy everything new :rolleyes:

I wonder why we all feel so obliged to buy all brand in the September when we may have stuff that still fits

shortstuff
06-05-2015, 06:54 AM
Must admit I only buy the eldest 2 as and when they need it.

The youngest 2 seem to like having that growth spurt in the summer just so I have to buy everything new :rolleyes:

I wonder why we all feel so obliged to buy all brand in the September when we may have stuff that still fits

I seem to be buying every school holiday :panic: DS is catching up lol. He is one of the oldest and gradually moving up in height and no longer the smallest :clapping:

Simona
06-05-2015, 07:23 AM
Oh my goodness, how awful!
I was a free school meal child and had to sit with the other free mealers, on a family like table, I knew everyone knew I got my dinner free and in low moments would get teased about it by other children but to my knowledge they didn't call us names.

Thank goodness we have come along way since then!

In my culture that kind of thing would be classified as 'segregation' and not allowed....considering the importance we put on eating together and making eating a shared and enjoyable affair.

I was trying to make the point of 'inclusion' and treating children with 'equal concern' when I suggested to the OP the child not staying for dinner could be offered a snack and still be invited to sit with all other children even if just having a light meal?

The one thing about children receiving 'free school meals' is that they have ...unfortunately...acquired the additional label of being 'disadvantaged' ...they could be spotted a mile off especially if made to queue separately for their 'free lunch'...is that really necessary?

Bunyip says in the past those children were made to sit in the 'poverty corner'...not sure what is more deplorable...that or the amount of labels we inflict on these children and their families?...not sure if labels are really politically correct.

NightOwl
15-05-2015, 09:31 AM
Just come across this thread and it brought back memories of my school days when children with 'free school dinners' had a different colour ticket to hand in at lunch time than those that paid. :-(

tess1981
15-05-2015, 09:42 AM
I remember in secondary school those that paid for dinner were jealous of those that got it free. I got free school meals and we were considered the lucky ones :) go figure lol

greenfaerie
15-05-2015, 10:07 AM
Like some others I include all meals with my fees, so can't imagine anyone opting out. Especially since the 4pm meal I provide wouldn't really ruin a child's appetite for an evening meal with family. If a family did insist on a child not being given a meal then I would probably sit the child down with the others and give them a drink and a fruit snack.


I say scone rhyming with con but have a preference for cheese scon ,chilli jam ( home made) and mascopone cheese ...my parents would not have approved!

This sounds so absolutely sensational that I may have to make these immediately. Mmmm. I usually find savoury scones uneventful, but this is a wonderful twist. :)

Interesting discussion on the Dinner/Lunch/Tea thing. I was raised with Breakfast, Dinner & Tea, but as an adult prefer to use the term Dinner to refer to the largest meal of the day. So now I use Dinner to refer to the evening meal. I'm sure that my menu will confuse parents and children as the meals are labelled Breakfast, Lunch & Tea. This is due to the last meal I serve being more of a snack, rather than a meal. (In order to encourage family dining when the children get home)

Some of people's memories of FSM were really distressing. I was eligible to these as a child, and my school was quite subtle with it, we had to use a certain till but all children could use it too, this was just where the list was. The assistant on the till knew all the children's faces so used to tick us off without us even noticing and we could sit where we like.

AliceK
15-05-2015, 10:23 AM
Like some others I include all meals with my fees, so can't imagine anyone opting out. Especially since the 4pm meal I provide wouldn't really ruin a child's appetite for an evening meal with family. If a family did insist on a child not being given a meal then I would probably sit the child down with the others and give them a drink and a fruit snack.



This sounds so absolutely sensational that I may have to make these immediately. Mmmm. I usually find savoury scones uneventful, but this is a wonderful twist. :)

Interesting discussion on the Dinner/Lunch/Tea thing. I was raised with Breakfast, Dinner & Tea, but as an adult prefer to use the term Dinner to refer to the largest meal of the day. So now I use Dinner to refer to the evening meal. I'm sure that my menu will confuse parents and children as the meals are labelled Breakfast, Lunch & Tea. This is due to the last meal I serve being more of a snack, rather than a meal. (In order to encourage family dining when the children get home)

Some of people's memories of FSM were really distressing. I was eligible to these as a child, and my school was quite subtle with it, we had to use a certain till but all children could use it too, this was just where the list was. The assistant on the till knew all the children's faces so used to tick us off without us even noticing and we could sit where we like.

I am in the south and usually say lunch and dinner. But dinner to me is a hot meal and lunch is usually a cold meal. But since changing the way I do things now, the children now have their hot meal at midday but I stil call that lunch but then in the afternoon they now have a cold snacky meal so now I call that tea. So they have breakfast, lunch and tea. No dinner. It's even confused my own children. I know in the north the meal at lunchtime is called dinner isn't it?

xxx

tess1981
15-05-2015, 10:31 AM
I am in the south and usually say lunch and dinner. But dinner to me is a hot meal and lunch is usually a cold meal. But since changing the way I do things now, the children now have their hot meal at midday but I stil call that lunch but then in the afternoon they now have a cold snacky meal so now I call that tea. So they have breakfast, lunch and tea. No dinner. It's even confused my own children. I know in the north the meal at lunchtime is called dinner isn't it?

xxx

in my setting we have breakfast lunch and snack... sometimes lunch is a cooked meal like spag bol soup and potatoes cottage pie and other times its cold go fer food like tortilla wraps cheese Ham fruit and yoghurt. It's the norm here not to do a cooked meal later in the evening for the children. I think parents should sit with their children after a day not seeing them and it also means me and my family have our dinner in peace without mindees giving out or fighting as usually at this stage of the day they are harder work

greenfaerie
15-05-2015, 10:49 AM
I know in the north the meal at lunchtime is called dinner isn't it? xxx

Yeah, I'm one of the exceptions in my area I think. My partner is from various parts of the South and refers to the evening meal as Dinner, and I think it makes more sense, so I've changed my use of the term. :) Calling the 4pm meal "Tea" is me expressing my desire for it to be Afternoon Tea I suppose. :D