Pleases and thankyous!

[mumofone]

These were drummed into me ad nauseum when I was young but I have a new mindee that never says either. It really grates on me and I find it really rude! Should I correct them each time? What do you all do or dyou let it slide? I keep having to remember that I'm supposed to be teaching them rather than just looking after a friends child or something!

[FussyElmo]

How old is the child? if they have not ot been taught the words and when/how to use them they wont know. So model the words see please and thank you. When you give the child something say thank you. They do learn to model your behaviour

[mumofone]

How old is the child? if they have got been taught the words and when/how to use them they wont know. So model the words see please and thank you. When you give the child something say thank you. They do learn to model your behaviour

They're six...

[FussyElmo]

They're six...

So you have a child who doesn't know the words - if a child hasn't been taught when to use them

Or you a have a child who doesn't want or think they have too.

Either one will be hard you have to be a exceptionally good role model and not make it a battleground. Neither of you will get anything from it being a battle.

How is the relationship with Mum could you ask her if the child uses please or thank you

[Maza]

Mention it every single time for quicker results. At 6 she will have heard the words before and have a vague idea of when they should be used. Mention it nicely the first couple of times and then when she asks for something say 'What's the magic word?' and praise her when she does say it. If you pass her something and she doesn't immediately say 'Thank you' then you could gently keep hold of the object as she is trying to take it from you and this often jogs their memory. Huge praise again when they do say it.

I have two mindees who are together most days - one says it all the time and the other one doesn't, although he isn't a rude child. I praise the other one massively each time he says it and it is beginning to catch on. Sometimes, I am a bit 'mean' and say "well, I'm actually going to serve xxx first because he remembered to say please". I don't say it in a dominating way, just a gentle way to make a point.

Puppet shows are good for children at all ages. I use two hand puppets (soft toys would do) and model one asking the other for something and get the audience to call out at the appropriate points where he should use those words.

I am also panning on making a chart with big speech bubbles for my little ones of 'polite words'. The one who says 'please and thank you' doesn't say 'pardon'- he says 'what?' so they have all got something to work on.

I keep meaning to mention it in the diaries but it isn't easy is it? I was thinking something along the lines of 'xxx got a sticker today because he remembered to say 'please' a few times'.

One thing to bear in mind is that it could be a cultural issue. A friend of mine told me that in her culture you are not thought of as rude if you don't say those words, it is the WAY you ask for/receive something which determines whether you are rude or not. I'm sure she even said that there wasn't a word for 'please or thank you' in her language. Never the less though, she uses them here though and has taught her children to do so because this is where she now lives and doesn't want to be seen as rude - which she most certainly is not.

When I am out and about and I see adults allowing children to not say please and thank you I get cross with the adult too - so don't be afraid to teach manners, just as you wouldn't be afraid to teach Maths or Literacy. x