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Ripeberry
04-03-2015, 08:49 AM
Says mum this morning. Because dad is at home and he can't cope with not being able to put him to bed straight after collecting from me. I only have this child two days a week. But if he doesn't settle by 6.30pm (been with me since 7am), they think it's the end of the world!
So I'd better make myself a poking stick and water spray bottle, cos this child NEEDS a sleep in the afternoon! Otherwise he spends all his time being confrontational, hitting his siblings and my daughters.
Someone tell me WHY? Parents think they are entitled to have an easy evening to themselves?

Rant over! :censored:

shortstuff
04-03-2015, 09:41 AM
I had parents like this before. It was a nightmare.

I wish you all the luck in the world with los behaviour.

Chatterbox Childcare
04-03-2015, 10:00 AM
We have a duty to the child to let him rest if he needs it.

AliceK
04-03-2015, 11:35 AM
We have a duty to the child to let him rest if he needs it.

Agree. We are not allowed to NOT let a child sleep if they need to, it goes against their human rights (and basic needs). I have told parents this a number of times when I've been asked the same thing.

xxx

Maza
04-03-2015, 12:02 PM
I explain that napping is only temporary and if the toddler is napping it is because it is what he NEEDS. I also 'gently' tell them that parenting is exhausting but before we know it they all drop their naps - but only when they are ready to do so. Help them to see that their is light at the end of the tunnel, but not yet. If they see the napping as something that isn't going to last forever I find that they can sometimes accept it more.

It is annoying when this happens though. I currently have one who hasn't napped with me for three weeks (parents practically begging me to keep him awake) but then yesterday he fell asleep for a couple of hours. He would have carried on sleeping but I woke him up. I was ready for some comment this morning at drop off but thankfully it wasn't mentioned. Like your mindee if he doesn't sleep his behaviour deteriorates. Would it be worth suggesting you wake him after a shorter sleep than normal so that you are weaning him off his nap gently?

FloraDora
04-03-2015, 01:03 PM
This problem really is the most annoying - the children don't not go to sleep because they have a nap in the afternoon, they don't go to sleep because bedtime routine and expectations are not in place! Parents take them out of cots too early so then they can't keep them in a bed when they haven't set a routine of bedtime, bath, story, bed. The bath relaxes first the closeness and nice soothing voice of parent when they read a story helps. The expectation that when an adult says bedtime - then it is ensures they stay there, even if they sing, look at a book, listen to a story on a cd.

They want their children so exhausted that they just sleep on their feet by 6.

This is one area that no new fangled ideas can alter.

Some parents spend so much of their time out and about that the children fall asleep in the car so afternoon naps are taken in snatches throughout the day - they then say they don't have a nap but give you an itinery of difficulties in getting them to sleep.

Routine, expectation, routine ,expectation - the basic principles behind any parenting issue, bedtime, mealtime, behaviour......

....in my opinion!
My parents accept that a nap is expected in the afternoon - even for just half an hour.

AliceK
04-03-2015, 01:16 PM
This problem really is the most annoying - the children don't not go to sleep because they have a nap in the afternoon, they don't go to sleep because bedtime routine and expectations are not in place! Parents take them out of cots too early so then they can't keep them in a bed when they haven't set a routine of bedtime, bath, story, bed. The bath relaxes first the closeness and nice soothing voice of parent when they read a story helps. The expectation that when an adult says bedtime - then it is ensures they stay there, even if they sing, look at a book, listen to a story on a cd.

They want their children so exhausted that they just sleep on their feet by 6.

This is one area that no new fangled ideas can alter.

Some parents spend so much of their time out and about that the children fall asleep in the car so afternoon naps are taken in snatches throughout the day - they then say they don't have a nap but give you an itinery of difficulties in getting them to sleep.

Routine, expectation, routine ,expectation - the basic principles behind any parenting issue, bedtime, mealtime, behaviour......

....in my opinion!
My parents accept that a nap is expected in the afternoon - even for just half an hour.

Absolutely.
I never had a problem with either of my 2 children going to bed, they had a bedtime routine from being babies and there has never been any problems. They are now 7 and 10 and will go to bed when told to although my DD has always decided she will go to bed when she gets tired even if it is not bedtime. I once had to come home very early from a street party as she decided she was tired and needed her bed. When she needs her bed she needs it.
If children are bought up with routine and boundaries there will not be a bedtime battle. If anything not having a nap during the day if a child needs it will mean they will be harder to get to bed in the evening.

xxx

tess1981
04-03-2015, 09:53 PM
I have it written somewhere in my policy
I will not force a child to sleep however I will not stop a child taking their natural sleep!!!

Kiddleywinks
05-03-2015, 07:13 AM
This problem really is the most annoying - the children don't not go to sleep because they have a nap in the afternoon, they don't go to sleep because bedtime routine and expectations are not in place! Parents take them out of cots too early so then they can't keep them in a bed when they haven't set a routine of bedtime, bath, story, bed. The bath relaxes first the closeness and nice soothing voice of parent when they read a story helps. The expectation that when an adult says bedtime - then it is ensures they stay there, even if they sing, look at a book, listen to a story on a cd.

They want their children so exhausted that they just sleep on their feet by 6.

This is one area that no new fangled ideas can alter.

Some parents spend so much of their time out and about that the children fall asleep in the car so afternoon naps are taken in snatches throughout the day - they then say they don't have a nap but give you an itinery of difficulties in getting them to sleep.

Routine, expectation, routine ,expectation - the basic principles behind any parenting issue, bedtime, mealtime, behaviour......

....in my opinion!
My parents accept that a nap is expected in the afternoon - even for just half an hour.

:clapping::clapping:

bunyip
05-03-2015, 08:45 PM
I agree: this is one of the most annoying things I come up against with parents.

It ranks alongside the idea that we are here to do all the dirty work with little or no support from home, like the toilet-training, healthy eating, table manners and general civilising of children that some parents think they've subcontracted to us with no consistency once they're home. :angry:

The worst thing about the sleeping ban is that, whilst the other things I've listed tend to come from a small minority of 'tricky' parents, the no-sleep thing can be encountered with quite a few otherwise wonderful parents/clients. I've had to explain it and had battles with even the nicest of mums.

They tend to come out with the usual excuse that "they don't sleep properly at night if they've had a nap at yours". Look out for this excuse: it's total bollox. They usually sleep badly at home because of a poor night-time wind-down/routine. I blame the CBeebies Bedtime Hour for much of this (although I quite like it myself: "Night Garden" is fantastic if you can get 4 pints of cider down your neck before it starts, and has anyone else noticed the Zen thing with Iggle Piggle's boat....?)

I tend to refer to such requests as "deliberate sleep deprivation" and point out that it is prohibited under the Geneva Conventions. This may be a shock to parents, but I'm running a childcare setting, not Guantanamo. :mad:

blue bear
05-03-2015, 08:57 PM
Wonder, does he sleep in the afternoon on the days you don't have him?

smurfette
06-03-2015, 07:26 AM
I am currently having this with three of my parents! Little ones are all about three. Two of them have no set routine at home. Los both crash out the second they hit the pillow here ! One of them has a dreadful set up., no nap at home, very stroppy (strong personality but usually a pet here most of the time, poor kid is over tired!) and kids all bed hop.. She has breastfed each one until the next has been born and they all co sleep or move beds at night time.: child is exhausted and will happily have two hour nap here .. Sleeps well after though although I say she only had half hour cos that's what jml wants .. One day she told me no nap.. She had a mega meltdown mid afternoon and begged me for a nap!! I genuinely never see those meltdowns here! Second one sleeps two to three hours here and at home and bouncing around at ten or eleven at night.. But if he doesn't settle mum gets him up and plays with him.. So why would he?! Most weekends they go down country and they stay over with family and he only gets a nap if they happen to be in the car and may travel back late at night. Have agreed with mum to see if he needs less of a nap as he has now started waking at night so he is having an hour .. But she hasn't asked me to cut it out yet! Third mum cut out nap cos Lo is potty training and she wanted to not put a nappy on her. Lo never wet with me at nap time so don't think that was a real justification. She does I know have a good routine they are in bed 730, so I am happy to work with this one .. She allows her half an hour here but she is out for count in seconds .. I only have her one day a week but if I have her more than that apparently she starts looking for her nap again.. So that tells me she needs a few mins down time?!

My kids 'napped' until school .. When the youngest napped I sent the other two off to rest on beds with books quietly.. I needed the head space and so do they!

smurfette
06-03-2015, 07:28 AM
Oh and bunyip

https://www.facebook.com/BuzzFeedUK/posts/1002970276397795

bunyip
06-03-2015, 11:03 AM
Oh and bunyip

https://www.facebook.com/BuzzFeedUK/posts/1002970276397795

Love it. :clapping:

Really, Night Garden is probably the closest you'll ever get to an acid trip on the licence fee. But I'm constantly amazed at how many parents think that the televised 'bedtime hour' is a substitute for a proper bedtime wind-down routine. OK the programmes are quieter than 'Discover & Do' and there's a jolly song at the end, but all TV is scientifically proven to be massively stimulating to a lo's senses, and then they're supposed to sleep with all the resultant adrenaline coursing through their veins. :eek:

Ripeberry
06-03-2015, 11:54 AM
Wonder, does he sleep in the afternoon on the days you don't have him?

They make him stay awake for as long as possible close to lunchtime. Then he can sleep 3 hours straight! I've always had him, having a nap between 9-10am and then for 30 mins around the pm school run. I managed to keep him awake on the Wednesday as he had a two hour sleep in the middle of the day, but by 6pm he was delirious with tiredness. He and his brothers get like this when they are tired. They go 'crazy' and daft or very vicious with each other. No wonder they seem to not have a good bedtime routine. They are OVERtired!

Ripeberry
06-03-2015, 12:02 PM
I am currently having this with three of my parents! Little ones are all about three. Two of them have no set routine at home. Los both crash out the second they hit the pillow here ! One of them has a dreadful set up., no nap at home, very stroppy (strong personality but usually a pet here most of the time, poor kid is over tired!) and kids all bed hop.. She has breastfed each one until the next has been born and they all co sleep or move beds at night time.: child is exhausted and will happily have two hour nap here .. Sleeps well after though although I say she only had half hour cos that's what jml wants .. One day she told me no nap.. She had a mega meltdown mid afternoon and begged me for a nap!! I genuinely never see those meltdowns here! Second one sleeps two to three hours here and at home and bouncing around at ten or eleven at night.. But if he doesn't settle mum gets him up and plays with him.. So why would he?! Most weekends they go down country and they stay over with family and he only gets a nap if they happen to be in the car and may travel back late at night. Have agreed with mum to see if he needs less of a nap as he has now started waking at night so he is having an hour .. But she hasn't asked me to cut it out yet! Third mum cut out nap cos Lo is potty training and she wanted to not put a nappy on her. Lo never wet with me at nap time so don't think that was a real justification. She does I know have a good routine they are in bed 730, so I am happy to work with this one .. She allows her half an hour here but she is out for count in seconds .. I only have her one day a week but if I have her more than that apparently she starts looking for her nap again.. So that tells me she needs a few mins down time?!

My kids 'napped' until school .. When the youngest napped I sent the other two off to rest on beds with books quietly.. I needed the head space and so do they!

Yep! Youngest one 'bed hops' a lot, but he has been getting better lately.