View Full Version : Mindee has an aversion to my co-minder!

24-02-2015, 04:07 PM
We are really quite stumped by this one. We work together but each have our own mindees and obviously provide care for each other's all the time too. One LO who is "mine" has developed an intense dislike of my co-minder. There is absolutely no basis for this - she's been treated the same as all the others. But she watches my co-minder constantly and if my co-minder tries to pick her up she actually tries to scoot away. If my co-minder makes eye contact with her she buries her head and almost collapses into the carpet. If my co-minder does pick her up /hold her, LO whimpers and will squirm to get away. We believed it was a control thing (she has a lot of control issues and parents dance to her tune) and her wanting me as her main carer but at group this morning we tried an experiment of another unknown childminder holding her arms out to her and LO was more than happy to go to her. She is very happy in our setting apart from this. I must add that my co-minder is a brilliant minder - and infact a lot more patient, tolerant and affectionate towards children than me! LO is 22 months but not yet moving due to a movement disability and she's been with us about 9 months.
I've never come across this before and if anyone has any ideas/advice we'd be very grateful!

24-02-2015, 07:09 PM
No ideas on how to help. But find it quite fascinating. Are you stricter as I know (trying not to sound big headed but know I will fail) with me nieces and nephews I am the fave aunt but I'm also the only one the demands they follow my rules and show me respect and I think as they know exactly where they stand it lets then relax and be happy. Where as their other aunts are softer and let them get away with things for ages before telling them off for something they have just done 20 times

25-02-2015, 09:56 AM
I know exactly where you are coming from. We've had lots of really unruly kids who respond so much better in our epsetting due to firm consistent rules and expectations. Children do need consistent boundaries set in order to feel secure. My co-minder is of the same opinion and is as firm as me so I don't think that's it either! But thanks for the thought!

26-02-2015, 07:43 PM
Think we've discovered the reason. We think she is jealous! My co-minder takes my attention away from my mindee. She's competing with her. A childminding friend of mine said her daughter wouldn't let her talk to her friends if they popped in or even her husband - she would scream/grab her mums face etc. I realised when I am trying to talk to my mindees mum on collection, LO is constantly turning mums face to her and covering her mouth /kissing her. Basically trying everything to stop mum talking to me. She is very controlling of her parents and I'm wondering if she does it at home between her parents too? Got a review on Monday so will talk to mum about it then.