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tori4
09-01-2015, 12:40 PM
I ve been doing this job long enough not to be too surprised abt LOs change in behaviour at pick up time.

Seen it all

Dummy asked for
Literally running circles around dad getting boat on
And just general screaming and kicking off.

But now parents have asked what to do about it ... Plus LOs behaviour (screaming, tantrums etc) at home.

The LO is nearly 2yrs developing well if not above average - language is amazing and he is also showing awareness of toileting needs

Here thou he is a tex book child - does everything asked of him, polite, calm, happy to play independently and within a group. Shows a little bit a jealously of others but nothing major just wants to listen to story too but no pushing.

He is a little impatient but again expected for age

But a funny, clever, happy child.

SOoooo what do I say to Mum and Dad?

I know he is just kicking off cause he can , is possible a bit annoyed with mum that she left him ( although he is happy to come and name checks us all ever morning ) but how can I say this to mum?

Mum is on maternity leave and obv arrives with bang sister but LO has contiuned coming throu all of pregnancy and maternity leave so not really any different.

Parents def seem in same page - R saying they do all the right things, and I have no reason to think they are not.

So what can I say - offer for advice?

Why are these LOs so differently behaviour for parents? I really dnot do anything that special ?!?

Anyone found the answer pls share

TIA xT

chris goodyear
09-01-2015, 12:57 PM
I also have been doing this job a very long time - over 25 years - and have seen it all! All you can really say is that most kids do this and it's nothing to worry about. When you think of them at school they all behave fairly well don't they (of course there are exceptions and you can get some little ****** but on the whole kids behave good in school. then they are collected by parents and they whine, moan, kick off, you name it. Perhaps it's a built in thing as we all behave better in public than at home but maybe tell the parents it's better to have your kids well behaved when they are away from home rather than the other way round! Sorry haven't got any other practical advice to offer :(

shortstuff
09-01-2015, 12:58 PM
Could you fit in a home visit? Actually see what goes on at home?

I have a mum.who has asked for help but admits she gives in for an easy life. LO can scream for 1 1/2 hours if not getting their own way. Its only happened here once because i dont cave.

Ripeberry
09-01-2015, 01:01 PM
Yes, I'd also say see what the child is like at home. You can learn a LOT by a short visit :cool:

Maza
09-01-2015, 01:05 PM
A lot of them just do play up at pick up times.
Could you have little ones coat on ready for when the parents arrive? Make handover as swift as possible - arrange with parents that they don't need to chat to you at pick up time (just until he moves through this phase) and that everything they need to know will be in the diary or they can email/text/call you later if they need to discuss things in more detail. Does he go home in a buggy? Could you have him already strapped in it if he does?

Regarding the tantrums a home, they will first of all need to try and identify the triggers - is it at a particular time of day (coming up to meal/sleep times etc). He is coming up to the age of tantrums and also has a new baby in the house.

watford wizz
09-01-2015, 01:11 PM
A good way to explain the new sibling change is to explain "how would you feel if you husband/partner moved in a new wife/partner who took up a lot of time, caused complete chaos to your routine, played with you special things, took over your kitchen, etc" it's a huge change even if routine coming with you has been a constant. I would second a home visit I try to do them regularly they are a great eye opener and used positively can really open eyes of parents x

chris goodyear
09-01-2015, 03:26 PM
Reading the other replies reminded me of a couple of children over the years when I used the 'get them ready with coat etc on and very quick handover'. It worked a treat and the lo's were out the door before they had time to create! Only had to do it for a couple of weeks and then we could revert back to a more friendly goodbye time.

VeggieSausage
09-01-2015, 03:57 PM
Yes I was going to say that, set a really good routine up with the parents knowing it as well....

1. Get them ready before home time, in shoes and coat
2. Parent knocks - child by the door with you, no calling them over etc - you hold their hand
3. Give hand to parent so they now have hold of them
4. Parent leaves with child if they create they can pick them up and walk off with them leaving you in peace and tranquility :D

Maza
09-01-2015, 03:59 PM
A good way to explain the new sibling change is to explain "how would you feel if you husband/partner moved in a new wife/partner who took up a lot of time, caused complete chaos to your routine, played with you special things, took over your kitchen, etc" it's a huge change even if routine coming with you has been a constant. I would second a home visit I try to do them regularly they are a great eye opener and used positively can really open eyes of parents x

Ooooh, I'm getting angry with my husband just thinking about that! Yes, I think I would be having a few tantrums!!

tori4
09-01-2015, 07:46 PM
Thanks ladies/gents

We did do swift handover b4 and yes this worked and think we may do it again for the short term at least.

But obv pre-warn parents 1st dnot want them thinking in kicking him out :-)

Sounds daft but we also have to re pack the lunch box too - cause although he has snack minutes b4 mum picks up - as soon as he sees it he kicks off - although he doesn't actually want anything from it - I guess it his substitute for the dummy drama

I think I will share with parents during meeting the ABC behaviour thingy when u record what happen b4 during etc so they can start to identify any triggers. He is only young and yes hitting 2 plus new baby so all perfectly understandable behaviour - but they want strategies - and not want things to go out of control. Can't blame them and I'm Great full they are active parents.

Will also reassure them that's it perfectly normal gr8 whilst out little terror at home.

I may also do a bit more public time - try an extra visit to the library /post office etc on his days - like I said he is a little impatient some times and he has gotta realise the behaviour I expect at my house is the same anywhere. And there fore at home too ..

Thanks peeps - it's just nice to have a sounding bored sometimes.


Anyone got any tips for dogs with terrible wind too? Sat here replying and my dogs is killing me. !!! Smelly little thing