Child too friendly

[tori4]

?? I know this may sound daft

But looking for some advice LO has no awareness of strangers - will talk to anyone and everyone - wants cuddles and kisses from pretty much everyone - will go off with anyone and just generally too trusting.

Child is very nearly 3yrs old - and sits approx between 16-26 and 22-36 mnth category in each LD area

Without scaring the LO to death any tips how to encourage some questioning/concern

Child follows other safety boundaries such as holding hand near road etc althought not 100% sure if this is just routine or understanding of danger.

TIA xT

[moggy]

I would not be concerned at that age, they'll always be under close supervision while out and about anyway and as long as they are not running off and putting themselves at risk that way then where is the problem? 'Going off with anyone', you say- but with the supervision a 3yo is under that should be a low risk and if they are generally obedient then a rule of 'staying close by' or 'not leaving playground with out you' etc should do?

I had an ad hoc mindee age 2-3 who was very friendly, would say she loves me and had hugs for anyone, she was very sweet and it was just her nature, affectionate and tactile. As they get older they start to understand personal space and boundaries... if a school age child was still like this I would may be look at ways to help them understand how others might prefer not to be hugged or kissed.

It is also a family thing, I had a childhood friend and in her family the children went round giving literally everyone hugs and kisses at bedtime or when someone arrived/leaving, it was just a very cuddly family. But my family was not like that so seemed odd to me.

[Ripeberry]

I'm sure this kind of thing was a 'concern' under Safeguarding. But it may apply to older children.

[dolly1985]

I have a 3.5yr old and she always wants to hug and kiss people, especially men! When we are at the shops or out and about she will gravitate towards men with her arms wide open! I just tell her that we don't do that to strangers!!

[gwm]

My own, now nearly five year old was exactly the same. He will still approach any friendly looking adult and normally bend their ears about trains or going to school. He started school yesterday and I had to explain to him that he has to be respectful to his teachers as they are not like his aunties and uncles!
But he has been brought up surrounded by a lot adult company.....his 20 odd aunts and uncles, his numerous adult cousins, my childminding colleagues and his dad's work colleagues.
Isn't sad that we are considering the friendly nature of a little child in a negative light?? There are some good Stranger Danger books available to read for various age groups.

[tori4]

Thanks for the replies. - it is sad that over friendlyness can be wrong in someway but It comes v early on in the DM 'wary of strangers' or something like that - this LO never had that and been with me since 9mnths - no tears at drop off from either parents :-( mum is always miffed.

Both Mum and nursery also aware and concerned themselves - mum too abt other dangers.

I understand what the DM means I have x2 12-14 mth olds who both give my mum the dirtiest look ever when she pops over - they have grown use to DH thou ;-)

However like you have said she is under close supervision here so that's what I will keep on doing.

Nursery were concerned but offered no advice - so we are as daft as each other.

[k1rstie]

Having been bitten by a dog on the first school run back in September, in a random and unprovoked attack, I would be wary of children who stop and bend down to speak to every 'doggie' they pass.

[Maza]

Having been bitten by a dog on the first school run back in September, in a random and unprovoked attack, I would be wary of children who stop and bend down to speak to every 'doggie' they pass.

Gosh, hope you are okay!

I also have a mindee, 3, who is very friendly towards strangers and recently I have been wondering whether I need to 'rein it in' a bit. I think you really have to trust your instincts and my instincts are telling me that my mindee is okay as he is for the moment. However though, if both the nursery and the mum have mentioned it then perhaps it is something you could begin to work on. Maybe focus on the 'going off with anyone'. Explain, gently that he mustn't do this because his adult (you/mum or whoever is with at the time) needs to know exactly where he is at all times so that you can make sure he is safe or help him if he needs help. Tell him that he really must ask you if he can go off with them. Maybe act out some little scenarios with puppets/happyland figures/teddies where the child puppet always has to ask their adult if they can go off with someone else. Can the children prompt the puppet before he goes off? You could focus on basic everyday safety, such as falling over, getting suck or needing the loo/drink etc rather than the more gruesome reasons as to why they shouldn't go off with strangers. x