Can a 4yr old defer reception and go straight to yr 1 when 5yrs?

[AdeleMarie88]

Am I right in thinking that a 4yr old, who turns 5 end of August can defer until September after 5th birthday and go straight to yr 1?

Mom is exceptionally worried about her 4yr old, who is the youngest in the class, by almost a yr, one of her classmates turned 5 yesterday, and she cries and shrieks not wanting to go in. Mom literally has to restrain her in the playground to get her through the door. When I pick her up, she has usually had a wet accident (so unlike her) and her eyes are red and puffy, as if she has been crying all day, which she tells me she has. She also tells me she sits in the playground by herself shaking!! She started school last week, so this behaviour has been going on for a week now. Mom is distraught, and I wanted to try suggest looking into deferring school until yr 1, as I was under the impression FT education wasn't compulsory until term after 5th birthday, which in this case would mean next September. Is that correct, or have I dreamt it up?

Has anyone got any experience in this? What would you recommend? Mom has said to me, she and dad are seriously considering home schooling for next yr, as they can't take their child this upset. Her behaviour on the whole has taken a dramatic shift, and I just don't think she is emotionally ready. She only turned 4 about 3.5weeks ago!!

Any advice is greatfully received! X

[Simona]

Am I right in thinking that a 4yr old, who turns 5 end of August can defer until September after 5th birthday and go straight to yr 1?

Mom is exceptionally worried about her 4yr old, who is the youngest in the class, by almost a yr, one of her classmates turned 5 yesterday, and she cries and shrieks not wanting to go in. Mom literally has to restrain her in the playground to get her through the door. When I pick her up, she has usually had a wet accident (so unlike her) and her eyes are red and puffy, as if she has been crying all day, which she tells me she has. She also tells me she sits in the playground by herself shaking!! She started school last week, so this behaviour has been going on for a week now. Mom is distraught, and I wanted to try suggest looking into deferring school until yr 1, as I was under the impression FT education wasn't compulsory until term after 5th birthday, which in this case would mean next September. Is that correct, or have I dreamt it up?

Has anyone got any experience in this? What would you recommend? Mom has said to me, she and dad are seriously considering home schooling for next yr, as they can't take their child this upset. Her behaviour on the whole has taken a dramatic shift, and I just don't think she is emotionally ready. She only turned 4 about 3.5weeks ago!!

Any advice is greatfully received! X

Let your parent read this...the DfE latest Guidance to LAs especially 'School admissions' on p29

https://www.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/351592/early_education_and_childcare_statutory_guidance_2 014.pdf

[Mouse]

Poor little thing. Some summer born babies just aren't ready to be going to full time school when they are barely 4.

What are school doing to help? Have they made any suggestions?

If it was my child I wouldn't want to skip the whole of reception and send them straight into year one. I think that would be equally hard for them, if not harder. The whole of year 1 will be based on the assumption that the children have had a year in school. They'll be expected to know how school works, what the routine is etc. Plus, the children will already have made friends and it may be difficult for a new child to fit in.

Personally, I would go into school and chat with them. Your mindee won't have been the first young child to struggle, so hopefully they already have plans in place & can make suggestions. I would be looking at her attending part time school at least until Christmas and to review it again them. If she is managing doing just mornings, maybe increase the hours to include one full day a week, the gradually increase it until she does full time in the final term.

[hectors house]

I agree with Mouse if parents defer for a year, child will go straight into year 1 without the benefit of settling in slowly and all the friendship groups will already be formed, better that child continues going but maybe only part time for quite a while - legally child doesn't have to go full time until next Sept.

I looked after a summer born boy whose school didn't go on a Wednesday until after Oct half term to break the week up for the children, his mum kept him off on the Wednesday until the following Easter and sent him to me instead as she said he got more one to one from me than in a large class with only a teacher and TA.

How was your mindee at Nursery and did she initially take a while to settle there? Think parents need to talk to school as the school must have encountered children who have been upset like this before. I think a slow approach building up over time is needed, could mum find out names of other children in the class and invite them round to play?

[Simona]

I think that this subject is very emotive and there is pressure on parents to follow suit and send their child to school at 4...I am sure we will all have different opinions

It is not legally required for a child to be in school at 4...there is pressure on parents as they are told their child will be left behind or such like...if only a few parents put up a fight against early schooling we would get somewhere
Of course some parents see early schooling as a way out of childcare costs but others have genuine concerns about their child...most children are not...as said...emotionally ready to be in large classes or formal teaching.

I would never send my child to school at 4...or 3 or even 2...my personal choice...and hope parents are not pushed to do so if they do not want to

If anyone is on LinkedIn...look at the discussion taking place about this very subject...it is really heart breaking how we accommodate govt policies without considering what is best for the children...and schools have added their own set of rules too
If early schooling was good would the rest of the world not follow suit?
I look forwards to the day Finland drops their entry to 2? NOT!!

We are now bending over backwards to get children ready for school...just because Ofsted says so....can children be ready at such age?

[whereswavy]

A year on, a year more mature and more able to handle school. That's very young to start. I thought it was bad enough in northern Ireland. If that child lived here she wouldn't be starting school until next year. Still too young in my eyes. Why put her through a year of misery when it's unnecessary. They are all so different and if this little one isn't ready no amount of forcing the issue is going to help. The homeschooling idea sounds excellent!

[AdeleMarie88]

Definitely take the point about it setting her back and maybe more detrimental in long run.

I went to pick up this afternoon, and was same story as every other day. She was only four three weeks ago, I don't think she is ready. She went to nursery but not for full days. I will suggest to mom to have another meeting with school and see if they can arrange early pick up/ late drop off or something. Mom had meeting last Friday and left feeling very unsupported apparently, was pretty much told "tough"- not very helpful!

[blue bear]

I so wish I hadn't sent my youngest to reception, he just wasn't ready. Oh hindsight is such a wonderful thing. Everyone just makes you feel they should start school at four the school, other parents, news reporters ..... Good on Mum for thinking what's best for her child remember though if she is not in full time school and you have her she will fall Into one of your eyfs spaces.

[Mrs Scrubbit]

One of my sons is an Aug babe and was in the first lot 4yr old intakes back in 1993. I was also concerned as to how he would cope being so young so had a chat to the head and reception class teacher ( thankfully we all knew each other well as my older 2 were also on role at the same school), they reassured me that he would be well cared for and even said if he required naps/chillout time then that would be included in his timetable. They also explained how they thought it would be best for him to start at the same entry point as all the rest of his classmates as bonding with them would be easier. I'm glad I took their advice as he settled well and really loved going. xx

[hectors house]

Definitely take the point about it setting her back and maybe more detrimental in long run.

I went to pick up this afternoon, and was same story as every other day. She was only four three weeks ago, I don't think she is ready. She went to nursery but not for full days. I will suggest to mom to have another meeting with school and see if they can arrange early pick up/ late drop off or something. Mom had meeting last Friday and left feeling very unsupported apparently, was pretty much told "tough"- not very helpful!

It's up to the parent to decide when and how long child will be attending school for, prob best if child just goes in morning as they tend to have free play in the afternoon. The mum should ask for a meeting with the head teacher - as others have said school is not compulsory until child is 5.

The August born boy I had never probably settled at school, my friend was a TA and she said you could tell he was a summer birthday just by the way that the other children stood up to move off the circle time mat but he still sort of crawled - some of the class were a quarter of his life older than him!

[Bumble Beez]

My DS was 5 in the November so was one of the oldest...so I was quite happy with him starting Reception last year.

However, one of my mindees was a young starter...the parents were given the option of deferring but also the school was offering a staggered start. So they would take the child for just mornings or afternoons, similar to nursery, but it meant that hey were in the class with their peers and experiencing some of the routines and activities.

Some children are just ready...some are simply not...

I don't understand why there is this pressure on ensuring children are 'school ready' at such a young age...madness!!

Sarah x

[mama2three]

We all know that age and stage aren't always the same thing. Just because a child has a summer birthday doesn't mean that they will be less able to cope with full time foundation , and lots of older children struggle too...
My own ds started off doing 3 days - but I have to say this was more for my benefit than his - he was ready willing and able - I wanted to hold onto him for a little while longer and as he was already quite advanced 'academically ' ( awful to think in those terms at 4!) I didn't worry that he would fall behing by doing less days. It worked well for us , school were less pleased but my son , my choice!

I have to say though many of us wouldn't take a child on that took up a full time space without getting funding / paid for a full time space - yet where schools have 3 year olds and we choose to only take them for less days the school misses out on valuable funding for the child. Our school foundation unit has very few places , and if other parents did fewer days it would make a massive difference to their income. No wonder theyre not always happy!

[AdeleMarie88]

Thanks for advice, I passed that link onto mom, thanks Simona!

She is trying to arrange meeting with head teacher, if she does end up being HE, mom and dad have made provisional arrangements with their work to go part time, I wouldn't have her.

Mindee seemed happier about going into school today because she has discovered she can play with her older friends on the other playground, mom said she was still crying though...

[watford wizz]

I have had several children defer some have stayed with me till year 1 some have done me nursery and year 1 some have done nursery/reception and me. All parents had to fight hard to get this and where threatens with all sorts, " won't make friends" " will be tallest in class" " loose school place" "will be soooo behind will need to go to special needs class" "you are going to have a badly emotionally damaged child" " your parenting is not right we are going to report you" just beyond belief but all backed down when complaints were made and they realised parents had legal right. So parents/carers need to be prepared to fight for their children's rights. All these children are now in full time school and most working well beyond their " government goals". None of them have special needs, are excessively tall, they have lots of friends, and are emotionally age appropriately balanced!

[AdeleMarie88]

I have had several children defer some have stayed with me till year 1 some have done me nursery and year 1 some have done nursery/reception and me. All parents had to fight hard to get this and where threatens with all sorts, " won't make friends" " will be tallest in class" " loose school place" "will be soooo behind will need to go to special needs class" "you are going to have a badly emotionally damaged child" " your parenting is not right we are going to report you" just beyond belief but all backed down when complaints were made and they realised parents had legal right. So parents/carers need to be prepared to fight for their children's rights. All these children are now in full time school and most working well beyond their " government goals". None of them have special needs, are excessively tall, they have lots of friends, and are emotionally age appropriately balanced!

Thank you for that post.

I truly believe, having looked after this child since they were 11months, they are not ready. The behaviour she is displaying is so extreme, and unlike her, I don't know about mom and dad but I couldn't bare to see it any longer!

Will keep you all updated x