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Buzz Lightyear
08-09-2014, 12:44 PM
I've a mindee off sick today, he's new and as a result, we have good and bad days with his settling in.

Good days consist of minimal crying but will scream the place down if I go out of the room or out of his sight (he's 1) and I understand it's because he's new and settling still.

Bad days however consist of screaming and crying (more of a temper thing) all day long and I'm not exaggerating!! I comfort him and he continues to scream and cry and fights his way off me and when I put him down, he gets even more upset. I have him four days a week.

I also have a small child of my own (under a year) and when the minded child is here, my own child often looses my attention as I'm comforting the mindee and for that, I feel extremely guilty. It's no secret I mainly do this job as it fits around my own family and currently, I'm struggling to make that work around the new child.

As awful as this sounds, it's been lovely not to have him today. I had the whole 'Sunday night' feeling last night but that message this morning was golden. I'm trying to work with mum on getting him more settled but honestly, I think the parent loves that he cries all day as the other day when we had a good day, parent said "oh don't you miss me anymore?"

By not having him here today, it's meant lots of lovely quality time with my little one. I guess I just feel guilty taking them on.... I didn't need to financially but parents were struggling and I felt sorry for them but as a result, I've jeopardised my own time with my child. Now do I give it time for the child to settle? (as it has literally been just 3 weeks) or would you say it's not working before the 6-week cooling off period ends (something I insist on having but have never once had to use before).

Sorry it's long winded but in my shoes, what would YOU do?

TIA.

moggy
08-09-2014, 12:49 PM
3 weeks is still early days, I have had ones crying for first few weeks and then settle to become the easiest ones ever. 6-weeks is a good long settling in period so make use of it and give LO a chance. I find a few weeks of carrying around at home in a sling works wonders, they feel reassured and build that bond with you so then do not need carrying at all.

Buzz Lightyear
08-09-2014, 03:03 PM
At the end of the day, my own baby is still so little and this is time I'll never get back with him... Selfishly thinking obviously. But the crying LO is impacting my children and other minded children.

Elkie Mawdsley
08-09-2014, 03:15 PM
Buzz Lightyear - it sounds like in your heart of hearts you have made the decision already. At the end of the day - you need to do what is right for you and your family - please don't feel guilty with whatever thay decision may be.

Good luck :)

gwm
08-09-2014, 03:34 PM
I agree with Elkie. Make your decision to suit your needs and that of your family. For all the fun and flexibility we have as childminders the downside is that the needs of the minded children have an enormous impact on our own families. I don't believe that any of us realise that until we are in the job. The needs of two small babies is extremely demanding and one will always be left waiting!

mama2three
08-09-2014, 03:55 PM
I think Id use the full 6 weeks settling in before making a decision.
I understand the point about not getting the time back - but I would think that having chosen to accept the contract I owe it to the family to give it a fair chance ( whilst realising that I may have made a mistake taking it on in the first place).

AliceK
08-09-2014, 04:13 PM
I had a child who was 10mths when they started with me. They cried all the time, it was very difficult for all of us. I spoke to mum about it, and towards the end of my 4 wk settling in period I told mum that I wanted to extend it for another 2 weeks as I really wasn't sure I could continue. We worked on strategies together. Things have got better, much better than previously. Child is now almost 2 and although still hard work it's manageable (most days lol).
If I were you I would give it a little more time, a lot can change in 3 weeks and if not then at least you can say you tried your best.

xxx

trickiedickie
11-09-2014, 10:28 PM
I have a 14 month old mindee 3 days a week and she spends most of the day crying. She cries if she thinks I am leaving the room or if another child comes near me or if I'm busy and can't pick her up, or if she is up and I have to put her down. I have just finished my 5th week with her, though had her for a week before the summer hols. So I have had her 6 weeks, though only 5 she will remember.

In your position I would give notice. You don't need the money but more importantly it is time you will never get back with your own wee one. Totally agree with you wanting to stop minding wee one.

My mindee comes on a mon,tues and weds and last Friday I started thinking "oh no, it is nearly monday". I just can't work out how I can give notice to the Mum. She knows I am finding it hard and actually one day picked her up from me and Mum said to her, oh no, I could hear you crying from the street! The Mum knows she is crying/screaming every day. I just can't find the courage to tell the Mum I can't do it anymore. Luckily I don't have my own wee one (my youngest is 4).

Life is too short, you won't get back these baby days with your baby and you don't want to look back with regrets. Good luck in telling the Mum. Let me know how you get on.

trickiedickie
11-09-2014, 10:30 PM
I just feel now that my setting is not the right setting for my wee mindee. Things haven't improved in 5 weeks. I will do next week and if things are still the same then I am going to swallow a brave pill and have the conversation with the Mum.