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leeloo1
30-08-2014, 01:51 PM
I had a new baby start last week, on his first day settling in dad dropped him off and the dad absolutely stank - I could smell him from 3 feet away at the door. Baby's clothes smelled like the dad did, as did some of the things in his bag (some clothes smelled not too bad, some stank - none smelled fresh). Also I ask that parents bring a blanket that 'smells of home/their washing powder' and in this case I wish I hadn't as when I used it on baby at nap time it made the whole house smell. :ohdear:

2nd day, baby didn't smell so bad, but still not nice and it was enough that I could smell him on my hands after I'd held him and I'm dreading having him back next week. :(

They are co-sleeping and the baby/dad/his clothes smell like they haven't changed the beds in weeks and have b.o.

My assistant reckons we should buy the baby clothes that we change him into here for the day and keep them clean, but I take photos to show the parents and it'd be obvious he wasn't in their clothes. Also I have enough laundry with my own 3 to be doing anyone elses. Only other alternatives are to put up with it or bite the bullet and tell the parents they smell - and I can't see that going down well.

I'm hoping someone can magically find an answer for me...

Ripeberry
30-08-2014, 02:57 PM
Gosh! That is a difficult situation to be in. Is it BO or maybe cigarette/cigar smoke? I would note it down as a concern and see if things improve. Failing that, then maybe a good spray of deodorant on the clothes. But then what is safe on a baby?

leeloo1
30-08-2014, 07:40 PM
Thanks for replying - it is a bit grim. Especially as the poor baby crawls over and wants hugs and its just horrible to hug him smelling as he does. He's such a cute baby he doesn't deserve to be stinky!

Its definitely a bo/not washed smell. :(

blue bear
30-08-2014, 07:50 PM
You either tell them or ask for a spare set and wash that then dress babe in the clean set can't see another way around it

loocyloo
30-08-2014, 07:52 PM
Maybe they are drying clothes inside/putting them away damp which leads to them having a very stinky smell ( same as wet washing left in wash machine for a few days )

Could you speak to health visitor?

Maybe play with some warm soapy scented water? And get splashing!

Good luck x

CookieCutter
31-08-2014, 06:23 AM
Could you take lo's clothes off and febreze them?

I know it's not a very nice smell, but I would be very careful about bringing it up. Some people, despite being clean and tidy, have issues with body odor which are very hard to control. My brother showers at least once a day, changes sheets regularly, wears loads of deodorant and antiperspirant, etc- but will still smell of bo by the time he changes his work shirt in the evening. And he has a desk job! He's very aware of it and carries deodorant with him to combat the problem, and would feel really awful if someone he doesn't know very well were to approach him and say he smells and so does his baby. Granted, my brother controls the problem really well so he's not likely to offend someone's nose unless they're standing with their nose in his armpit, but it maybe it could be a similar problem with lo's dad?

Koala
31-08-2014, 06:59 AM
I have had people who don't launder clothes on a hot enough wash and 'smells' can get ingrained in fibres and smell even worse when the clothes get warmed up. Also not drying clothes properly or leaving in washing machine after a cycle often has this effect. I think I know what you mean but it sounds like it is REALLY bad in this instance :blush:

A few drops of lavender oil on the door mat or oil burners/smokers when they arrive might help disguise dads whiff and I would have to have a spare set of lo's clothes laundered at my house (like your assistant says) and changed as soon as he arrives and put his stinky clothes in the wash. Unfortunately if you don't - your house could adopt the stink and others may start to think it is you. :panic: :panic: especially if you go out anywhere. Parents might get a hint when little on comes home with fresh clothes and if they ask you may be able to delicately discuss the situation. I wouldn't bring it up, unless you feel it is having an adverse effect on the lo. Being stinky isn't a crime :thumbsup: and like someone says it could be a personal hygiene issue but sometimes if it is discussed delicately, productively and considerately you may be able to support the family overcome it? Good luck :thumbsup: Ordinarily I would NOT wash any childrens clothes - as you say we all have enough laundry - but what else can you do at this point? Waite and see how your relationship grows with the family to avoid putting your foot in it and inadvertantly insulting them.

I wouldn't fabreze the baby's clothes or use any disguising product.

Simona
31-08-2014, 08:50 AM
I had a new baby start last week, on his first day settling in dad dropped him off and the dad absolutely stank - I could smell him from 3 feet away at the door. Baby's clothes smelled like the dad did, as did some of the things in his bag (some clothes smelled not too bad, some stank - none smelled fresh). Also I ask that parents bring a blanket that 'smells of home/their washing powder' and in this case I wish I hadn't as when I used it on baby at nap time it made the whole house smell. :ohdear:

2nd day, baby didn't smell so bad, but still not nice and it was enough that I could smell him on my hands after I'd held him and I'm dreading having him back next week. :(

They are co-sleeping and the baby/dad/his clothes smell like they haven't changed the beds in weeks and have b.o.

My assistant reckons we should buy the baby clothes that we change him into here for the day and keep them clean, but I take photos to show the parents and it'd be obvious he wasn't in their clothes. Also I have enough laundry with my own 3 to be doing anyone elses. Only other alternatives are to put up with it or bite the bullet and tell the parents they smell - and I can't see that going down well.

I'm hoping someone can magically find an answer for me...

Sorry to ask...but is the smell coming from the baby himself or do you think the baby is picking it up from others such as BO?
If the baby sleeps in the parents' bed it would be his pijamas that smell not his day clothes?

I think personally this is a very 'delicate' and confidential matter and you need to record what you see and smell...just in case...
did you do a home visit before the child started? that could give a few clues as to the home environment.
This does not mean parents are not caring just that their hygiene routine may differ from others...sorry I hope you get my meaning

Change his clothes when he arrives and wash him down and then see if the next day things are the same

I also think you need to approach the parents because sooner or later your other minded children will say something to the parents ...unfortunately children have a habit of being honest

hectors house
31-08-2014, 03:37 PM
When I worked in a supermarket I came across a lady opening different fragrances of fabric softener and sniffing them as she said that some children in her class really smelt of horrible fabric softener and she wanted to make sure she didn't buy that one!

I think that as others have said this family are maybe leaving wet clothes too long without drying them properly or outside in the fresh air, I can understand this maybe in the winter but find it hard to understand after the lovely summer we have had - I guess not everyone has an outdoor drying area.

I would febreeze the clothes or sprinkle something like lavender oil on a bib as it's going to be hard not to cringe when baby wants to cuddle up for a story or a bottle. Or how about getting some cheap printed T shirts and tell the parents that you are providing a uniform for when you go out or to keep clothes clean during messy play?

mum67
31-08-2014, 03:39 PM
Just wondering if parents use a scented free non bio powder or some other type of natural product.
One of my older son's has a skin condition and years ago I tried Asda own non bio powder on the advice of HV, our clothes never smelt as if they were washed, they had a musty smell.
Stopped using after 2nd wash and went back to fragrant ones but only washed his in tiny amount and rinsed in cold water in sink until my hands were numb.
I would wash spares in your powder, change lo and then wash others, keep alternating and the photos will be fine and you could say didn't want to send lo home looking grubby from all the fun they had with messy play, etc.

Good luck with this.

gwm
31-08-2014, 04:18 PM
In the grand scheme of things it is such a small issue but it can instigate such widespread negative reactions. I have two suggestions....1. At next pick up/drop off ask mum/dad if baby has been sick this morning as you got a whiff from his clothes or 2. Wash everything baby is wearing and spare ones(you were doing some very messy activities!!!!) and send home smelling sweet. I wouldn't use any sprays etc as you don't know how baby will react and they don't actually get rid of the issue.

AdeleMarie88
31-08-2014, 04:41 PM
It's a tough one.

I have a family, who enjoy being very frugal, buying cheapest possible product, or even getting it free, whether it be food, clothes, washing up powder, furniture, toys and so on. As a result, personal smells are sometimes unpleasant. Their home is exactly the same.

The damp musty unclean smell became so bad, the other children picked up on it, and would say to me, "why does child x and y smell?" I had to talk to parents outright before a child said it in front of them. I just politely said what washing powder do you use because it leaves a strange odour. I suggested a different brand and said we are so active everyday perhaps child should be bathed more regularly. The older child would often say "mommy didn't want me to have a bath and wash my hair last night, I need to wait until end of the week." Her hair was so long it got matted and greasy and needed to be washed regularly. Because I knew they didn't have money/washing machine troubles, once they were made aware of it, they could fix it. If I wasn't blunt, they wouldn't have changed. Maybe you just need to clench your teeth and say outright, you need to bathe child and wash clothes more frequently.

tori4
31-08-2014, 05:34 PM
I have similar situation with LO - socks are the worst they feel almost wet - LO usually comes sticky rd the face and hands, the nails are always black :-/

I think I may be putting clothes on a quick wash from now on it's getting a bit too much - even DH notice it when he pops in

Plus the dog won't stop sniffing LO - doesn't bother with any of the other but spend ages trying to work out where the smell is coming from

Pretty sure it's choice of washing powder - mum even made a comment that mother-in law keeps spraying kids clothes when they go over for dinner !!! But that made the smell worst and nor did mum get the hint

Glad I'm not alone xT

leeloo1
02-09-2014, 07:23 PM
Hey, Thanks for all the replies. Interesting that other people have had similar situations - you have my sympathy.

Having had him a few extra days, I can see a real difference between days he's been bathed the night before and when he's not been - today he had bits of fluff & mucky looking stuff on the skin round his neck & backs of fingers. He also had yesterday's vest (& trousers) on - so it will pick up 'sleeping' smells. He also has huge chunks of cradle cap in his hair. Poor baby, its just not appealing!

I think the smell is mostly from his clothes/blankets etc (& a bit from co-sleeping & picking up parents' smells) though, not from the baby himself and whoever said about the not-hot-enough-wash-and-not-properly-dried-washing-smell then I think you're right. Some of his clothes & blankets have that awful pungent bacteria-y smell.

I'm going to try a few of your ideas - I think I'll start with the playing with persil... sorry, soapy water idea if his clothes smell too bad & he has better smelling ones with him. If that doesn't work then I'll ask to keep a spare set of his clothes & wash them myself. If all else fails then I'll have to speak to them...

Thanks again for all the ideas (& sympathy), its really helpful. :)

Mouse
02-09-2014, 09:51 PM
I had one baby who was particularly smelly. He was very affectionate, but I struggled to cuddle him close. I washed a thin blanket with a really strong smelling fabric conditioner, so when he came over for a cuddle I'd put the blanket across the front of me & wrap it round him to cuddle him. I'd keep a corner of it pulled out near my nose so I could sniff it at the same time!
I was worried he might get a bit paranoid that I grabbed the blanket every time he came near me, but he actually loved it and knew it was his special blanket :thumbsup:

mrsb79
03-09-2014, 06:14 AM
I really feel for you not a pleasant situation to be in. When I first started minding I looked after a 13 month old little boy who was very smelly mainly of urine he was very grubby and carried around his comfort blanket that he would take to bed and because his mum used cheap nappies he would soak through and it go on his blanket. Every morning was the same welcome him in and get him to pop his blanket into the washing machine which he did willingly however mum was happy didn't like my washing powder so I was blunt and spelt it out that she either stopped buying nappies that leaked and improved hygiene or lo stopped coming as I would smell of lo and some of my furnishings. Mum complied and things improved. It's never nice having to talk about sensitive matters but it's better to be honest before someone else is x

Sent from my iPhone using Childminding Forum

mum67
03-09-2014, 10:17 AM
I have similar situation with LO - socks are the worst they feel almost wet - LO usually comes sticky rd the face and hands, the nails are always black :-/

I think I may be putting clothes on a quick wash from now on it's getting a bit too much - even DH notice it when he pops in

Plus the dog won't stop sniffing LO - doesn't bother with any of the other but spend ages trying to work out where the smell is coming from

Pretty sure it's choice of washing powder - mum even made a comment that mother-in law keeps spraying kids clothes when they go over for dinner !!! But that made the smell worst and nor did mum get the hint

Glad I'm not alone xT

:laughing::laughing:The poor dog must be going demented :laughing::laughing:

mum67
03-09-2014, 10:22 AM
I have similar situation with LO - socks are the worst they feel almost wet - LO usually comes sticky rd the face and hands, the nails are always black :-/

I think I may be putting clothes on a quick wash from now on it's getting a bit too much - even DH notice it when he pops in

Plus the dog won't stop sniffing LO - doesn't bother with any of the other but spend ages trying to work out where the smell is coming from

Pretty sure it's choice of washing powder - mum even made a comment that mother-in law keeps spraying kids clothes when they go over for dinner !!! But that made the smell worst and nor did mum get the hint

Glad I'm not alone xT

The MIL is obviously hinting as best she can politely. My DIL knows I would just say it how it is and she likes that about me, only trouble is my grandkids are getting sooo like nana and it puts mum and dad in some very awkward situations at times :laughing:

mum67
03-09-2014, 10:25 AM
I had one baby who was particularly smelly. He was very affectionate, but I struggled to cuddle him close. I washed a thin blanket with a really strong smelling fabric conditioner, so when he came over for a cuddle I'd put the blanket across the front of me & wrap it round him to cuddle him. I'd keep a corner of it pulled out near my nose so I could sniff it at the same time!
I was worried he might get a bit paranoid that I grabbed the blanket every time he came near me, but he actually loved it and knew it was his special blanket :thumbsup:

:laughing::laughing: sorry I know I shouldn't laugh but this thread is so comical in parts - keep a corner to sniff - :laughing::laughing: the poor baby if only he knew :laughing: and poor Mouse :):)

mum67
03-09-2014, 10:30 AM
On a serious note. A cold wash does tend to give this smell out no matter what you use powder, softener wise. The parents might be environmental friendly and think they are doing right by this. Only thing is you would smell the whiff and know it's there so surely they are aware of it.

mum67
03-09-2014, 10:31 AM
oh and I'm watching this post with interest for future reference :)

leeloo1
03-09-2014, 01:13 PM
Oh I like the sound of wrapping him in a blanket when he comes for a hug, that makes great sense. :)

My DH suggested putting a peg on my nose! :laughing:

mum67
03-09-2014, 04:06 PM
Oh I like the sound of wrapping him in a blanket when he comes for a hug, that makes great sense. :)

My DH suggested putting a peg on my nose! :laughing:

So shall we be calling you Peggy from now on then :D

leeloo1
16-09-2014, 12:08 PM
Well, it looks like my name will have to be Peggy after all! :(

Having thought about all the options at length & tried a couple of them, LO arrived on Friday smelling worse than ever... so I decided I couldn't bear it and wrote a letter to the parents - apologising for raising the issue, but explaining there'd been a 'strong odour' on LO's clothes on several occasions (trying to be tactful & some days actually are worse than others) and suggesting several reasons for it... cold washes, not enough detergent etc etc etc. I asked if they could just do a couple of hot washes to sort the issue & maybe try a stronger detergent.

I felt proud of myself for raising the issue & very nervous at the thought of what they'd reply - worrying they'd be really upset and spend the weekend boil-washing clothes and feeling mortified! But I thought whatever the upset, at least it'd resolve the smell issue.

Well! Turns out I really needn't have worried about them being upset at all! Kid turned up this morning smelling really bad (I thought he'd done a poo, but he hadn't & my assistant described it as a 'wet vomit smell'!). I thought it was a bit odd, so looked in his bag and there was a note from Mum thanking me for my letter. She said she does 40 degree long washes anyway, line dries etc & that she's been through his clothes & can't smell anything and asked a couple of people who said they were fine and so thinks there isn't an issue... :censored:

I mean honestly... if someone (who is in very close contact with your child 10+ hours per day) told you your kid's clothes smelled how or why would you just say 'no they don't'?? :mad: I mean, I know smell is subjective (& its hard to smell odours if they 'belong' to you), but if I think surely common sense would suggest to them that if I think he smells bad I'm not going to want to hold him - which obviously they'll want/expect me to do.

This is really putting me off minding him (and minding in general - but I can't give notice as they paid retainer for him over the summer. :(

loocyloo
16-09-2014, 12:24 PM
No advice or help ... But my mum smokes and everything in her house smells. Even clothes as soon as they are washed. When we go to stay we never take lots of clothes and we leave as much as possible in the car. When we get home everything has to go in the wash for a long hot wash. When she stays with us, everything she uses is washed on a long hot wash and spareroom is thoroughly cleaned and can take days to air and feel fresh.
Mum is aware but always says we are over reacting and no one else says she smells. She does, but it's just what she smells like.
I think families get used to their own smells and don't notice them.
Good luck. Xx

Maza
16-09-2014, 12:41 PM
Poor you. Only you know if you can carry on looking after him or no. I have one little boy who I take straight to he bathroom for a wash as he arrives. Not due to poor hygiene but just that he plays out before he comes to me and his feet, hands and face are a bit grubby and I don't want that dirt in my house. Sometimes I change his shorts too if they look like he has been sitting outside in a muddy/dusty patch. The clothes in his bag are always clean and fresh though, so very different to your predicament.

If you keep him, I would start washing him on arrival and would be very tempted to change him into some clothes that I provided. I would by very cheap ones (primark, charity shop etc) and then decide whether I wanted to send him home in them or change him into his own clothes just before he goes home. If you send hem home, you could ask mum to send them back, either the next day or after she has 'washed' them. If she says that she has washed them when they come back to you then you will know that the smell is probably from the way she washes things. You could say that you changed him because you wondered if he had been sick a bit on the journey to your house. It would be interesting to see if, after a day at your house, having had a good wash and a set of clean clothes, whether he smells by the end of the day or not. Obviously it is a bit of an additional expense for you and long term you can't keep providing clothes as he grows.

Are the parents unkempt? I am assuming that you don't feel it is bad enough to be a safeguarding issue? x

Ripeberry
16-09-2014, 12:56 PM
The only thing for it! Home visit! If the house stinks then that's your answer. They can't smell it! I would still give notice when you can. They will soon find out when LO goes to nursery/playschool or even school that there is a problem and if enough people talk to them about it then they might do something!

AdeleMarie88
16-09-2014, 01:07 PM
Do you think this is more than parents not drying clothes properly? Could there be a safeguarding issue? I think I would want to do a home visit to try and find out more for myself. Is there a financial problem? Do they have a washing machine? I once discovered a parent was hand washing her childrens clothes in head and shoulders, she was really struggling with money and had to sell washing machine, but didn't want to tell anyone! Could this be a possibility for your parents to?

As talking to them didn't work, you need to try a different approach. For me giving notice would be last resort!

smurfette
16-09-2014, 01:53 PM
Aw Hun don't know what to say, don't know what else you can do if you have been brave enough to be to the point! I might have thought she was embarrassed and going to sneakily fix the problem but apparently not!

anyway came across this just now and thought it might amuse you! (Know it's not funny but we all need a bit of light relief sometimes!)

http://adverts.ie/6424795

Mouse
16-09-2014, 02:29 PM
Oh dear. I think you've done all you can by letting the parents know that their child smells, but if they don't accept it, you're a bit stuck.

Does the child actually smell, or just his clothes? I think I would get some clothes that you can change him into when he arrives at your house, then change him back again at home time. I know you've said it's difficult to do as you take photos throughout the day, but I think I'd rather work round that than have a smelly child.
I wonder if she has actually asked anyone if his clothes smell. If she's asked people while they've been in their house, they are probably so used to it that they wouldn't have thought it was any different to usual. Or they were just too polite to say "yes, you stink!"

Maza
16-09-2014, 04:13 PM
Oh dear. I think you've done all you can by letting the parents know that their child smells, but if they don't accept it, you're a bit stuck.

Does the child actually smell, or just his clothes? I think I would get some clothes that you can change him into when he arrives at your house, then change him back again at home time. I know you've said it's difficult to do as you take photos throughout the day, but I think I'd rather work round that than have a smelly child.
I wonder if she has actually asked anyone if his clothes smell. If she's asked people while they've been in their house, they are probably so used to it that they wouldn't have thought it was any different to usual. Or they were just too polite to say "yes, you stink!"

My thoughts exactly, Mouse, about her having asked other people.

toddlers896
16-09-2014, 05:05 PM
I was looking after a little girl not that long ago and I would say she was in the vulnerable 2 category. You can tell instantly the moment they walk in the door, the smell, the way they act etc. anyway I signed contracts with this parent and did things I wouldn't normally do i.e pick child up, drop off etc because I felt sorry for them. Her clothes were always clean but her socks had ground in dirt making them a grey colour and her coat used to really smell. It was like a musty/dirty smell and I will be completely honest, I couldn't cuddle her like I did the other kids as it was bad sometimes. After looking after her a few times I had a call from social services asking me what I thought of the child's appearance so I told them the truth. I didn't mention it to mum as I would have felt really embarrassed saying your child smells but I felt it was my duty to be honest with the sw. Anyway, next thing I have the mother on the phone ranting and raving that I said her daughter stunk. She wanted to come round to my house with her husband to hear it from my mouth what I said to the sw. I was absolutely *********myself to put it politely. I had to tell her to leave me alone in the end and I lost money too. So if I ever came across this situation again I think I would just stick the clothes in the washing machine and keep my mouth shut. We get no protection. If I have a real concern about a child then without doubt I will seek advice but I will never answer questions again from ss unless it's serious.

Simona
16-09-2014, 05:57 PM
The only thing for it! Home visit! If the house stinks then that's your answer. They can't smell it! I would still give notice when you can. They will soon find out when LO goes to nursery/playschool or even school that there is a problem and if enough people talk to them about it then they might do something!

I agree and it was suggested back in August
Leeloo...It maybe the smell is from the house and will put any ''nagging worries'' ...if you have any...at rest once you have done a home visit...if no clues there then you need to get support

All the best and good luck

leeloo1
16-09-2014, 08:46 PM
Thanks for that Smurfette, you really made me laugh with that picture! :laughing: Thats exactly what I thought, that if it was me I might send a note justifying that I do clean/wash or whatever, but sneakily I'd be washing every single thing I owned and getting new detergent etc just in case there was any truth in it!

Mouse, you're so right! How many people will actually say "you stink" to someone - even if its true. It was hard enough for me to do and that was only as I felt I had no choice! (And it was a bit pointless as its achieved nothing!) And the mum'll probably only have asked her husband/mum, who will be used to how they smell anyway.

It was a miserable day tbh, as I feel so upset and frustrated that the parents haven't done anything after I really stressed myself out by sending the letter, but have cheered up getting support here, so thanks. :)

I think that the home visit would be a good idea to work out why the smell is there, but what reason can I give for it? Other than 'I want to see if your house is stinky' - and judging by the smell & that the parents can't smell it then I think we can safely assume that it does. As LoocyLoo said - you get used to your own smells!

To try and answer all the questions....

I don't think its bad enough to be a safeguarding issue - the LO on the whole looks clean and his clothes look clean, they just smell! The parents are well-to-do, I don't think there are any financial issues as they both have good jobs (I know you can never tell 100%), but they look quite grungy/laid-back and sometimes have a BO/unwashed smell on drop off, which can't help with the clothes issue.

I don't know... I guess I'll just see how it goes. Poor baby though, he's the one that'll miss out on hugs if he's stinky (which you'd think his parents would have the common sense to realise!). :(

Simona
17-09-2014, 08:10 AM
Thanks for that Smurfette, you really made me laugh with that picture! :laughing: Thats exactly what I thought, that if it was me I might send a note justifying that I do clean/wash or whatever, but sneakily I'd be washing every single thing I owned and getting new detergent etc just in case there was any truth in it!

Mouse, you're so right! How many people will actually say "you stink" to someone - even if its true. It was hard enough for me to do and that was only as I felt I had no choice! (And it was a bit pointless as its achieved nothing!) And the mum'll probably only have asked her husband/mum, who will be used to how they smell anyway.

It was a miserable day tbh, as I feel so upset and frustrated that the parents haven't done anything after I really stressed myself out by sending the letter, but have cheered up getting support here, so thanks. :)

I think that the home visit would be a good idea to work out why the smell is there, but what reason can I give for it? Other than 'I want to see if your house is stinky' - and judging by the smell & that the parents can't smell it then I think we can safely assume that it does. As LoocyLoo said - you get used to your own smells!

To try and answer all the questions....

I don't think its bad enough to be a safeguarding issue - the LO on the whole looks clean and his clothes look clean, they just smell! The parents are well-to-do, I don't think there are any financial issues as they both have good jobs (I know you can never tell 100%), but they look quite grungy/laid-back and sometimes have a BO/unwashed smell on drop off, which can't help with the clothes issue.

I don't know... I guess I'll just see how it goes. Poor baby though, he's the one that'll miss out on hugs if he's stinky (which you'd think his parents would have the common sense to realise!). :(

Leeloo...in your shoes I would not judge the smell but what is making the child pick it up...I would also seek confidential advice from those who may be able to help you
you have clarified now that you think it is the clothes ...not the child
You say you don't think there are financial worries for the family...but you add you can never tell
they look laid back...have BO sometimes.... and an unwashed smell...themselves or their clothes?

The baby you think will miss on hugs because of this matter...that is sad and as said how long before other children will start pointing and maybe bullying?
not trying to be negative but thinking of all scenarios

As others have said the parents themselves may not be aware of the smell...all you have to do is ask for a change of clothes....wash the smell off and put clean clothes on the child

If that makes your worries go away then you have acted...if not ...think of the child and do not procrastinate and make sure you have recorded this...just in case?

VeggieSausage
17-09-2014, 02:28 PM
Ooh tricky one, I would definitely record it as it could be a sign of neglect......but if you say its the clothes rather than the child, could they live somewhere damp?

Maza
02-10-2014, 06:38 PM
How are you getting on? Any improvement?

mandy moo
04-10-2014, 06:43 PM
Apologies I know this is an oldish thread, just wanted to put my thoughts down as it were

Over the years I've had 3 friends, whos houses smelt of dogs, cigarette smoke, cooking odors, body odors.
Friend 1, his body odor was awful, not just BO, as much as I hate to say it, horrible, he was lovely tho, used antiperspirant etc, we lost touch years ago and although 'found each other' as it were, again on Facebook, we live to far away to be able to see each other now, so no idea whether he still has this problem.

Friend 2, His Mum (Im not an expert but I think she had some sort of learning difficulty, as did his younger sister) & Dad were, Now I think about it living well below the Poverty line, neither worked, on benefits drank Cider (I know I witnessed it) most of the day, every day, open fire in living room and smoked roll ups, fried potatoes/chips/egg with everthing, The dad admitted himself he used to go poaching to feed his family.

The other Friend, although Mum and Step Dad had jobs, not well payed, they also ate a lot of fried food, dogs and cats, a budgie, open fire, and smoked like troopers, they also drank at home and in the pub most night..

None seemed to be aware there was a certain smell about them, And I back then would not have said boo to a goose, so didnt sayanything, also didnt want to be unkind I guess either, As I say was a long time ago.


But then I had a female friend who wore back in the very early 80s a perfume, which to this day when I smell it, still makes me gag.. not sure what it was Obsession or something, to me even now when I smell it, it still smells like dead, moulding, rotting leaves/fungi, just horrible...

Sorry for the essay, not sure of what Im trying to say, But personally op I think you going to have to prehaps bite the bullet and be more forcefull? when mentioning again, Sorry.

KateA
05-10-2014, 04:32 PM
hi hope you got it all sorted and home visit went well, just a thought do you think they could be using rain water to wash clothes in the washing machine? you can buy big storage butts that enables you to collect all rainwater of your come and then it gets plumbed in and used to flush toilet etc

leeloo1
10-10-2014, 08:51 PM
Hey, thanks for thinking of me. :)

Nothing has really changed, but LO has settled in well, and is now walking, so isn't crawling all over me wanting hugs anymore.

We've been going out loads, so he spends the morning pottering around the park (downwind of me! :laughing:) then either lunch out or at home (highchair), then home for naps, then school pick up (in buggy). Then we do an activity - either round the table or free-play in the playroom. So the physical contact is there when necessary but limited. When I need to hug him or if he's looking sad/tired I'm using the blanket trick suggested up-thread.

Its really sad, as he is the prettiest little boy you can imagine and he'd be adorable if it wasn't for the smell, but if the parents don't think there is a smell problem then there's nothing I can do - I think to speak to them again would offend them, but if they ask me I'll be honest.

Oh actually, just thought of 1 new thing that's happened - 1 of the other mindees (3 year old) hugged him last week & said 'leeloo, xxxxx is really smelly!' I was caught on the hop and just said 'oh really?' & she said 'he smells all over his body.' Eeek, that could be a bit awkward!

Ripeberry
11-10-2014, 10:45 AM
That's the thing though isn't it? Kids are very honest. That poor child will find out one day that people think he smells (even if he does). But unless the parents are told (not necessarily) by you. They will never know :(

MrsP2C
11-10-2014, 11:22 AM
Hey, thanks for thinking of me. :) Nothing has really changed, but LO has settled in well, and is now walking, so isn't crawling all over me wanting hugs anymore. We've been going out loads, so he spends the morning pottering around the park (downwind of me! :laughing:) then either lunch out or at home (highchair), then home for naps, then school pick up (in buggy). Then we do an activity - either round the table or free-play in the playroom. So the physical contact is there when necessary but limited. When I need to hug him or if he's looking sad/tired I'm using the blanket trick suggested up-thread. Its really sad, as he is the prettiest little boy you can imagine and he'd be adorable if it wasn't for the smell, but if the parents don't think there is a smell problem then there's nothing I can do - I think to speak to them again would offend them, but if they ask me I'll be honest. Oh actually, just thought of 1 new thing that's happened - 1 of the other mindees (3 year old) hugged him last week & said 'leeloo, xxxxx is really smelly!' I was caught on the hop and just said 'oh really?' & she said 'he smells all over his body.' Eeek, that could be a bit awkward!

Could you use this comment from other mindee as cause to broach it again? I do think it's really sad that this lovely little boy will be always kept as arms length, risk bullying when he's older just because his parents are too pig-headed to admit there's an issue.

leeloo1
11-10-2014, 08:32 PM
I did consider using the comment as an excuse to mention it to the parents again, but then if they don't believe me (& why would I lie/make it up?) then would they believe a 3 year old? :( They could just shrug it off as her being confused/child having a dirty nappy or something. :(

Koala
12-10-2014, 06:47 AM
It's unfortunate that the childs parents are unaware and are unwilling to take your advice or even contemplate your view. I think you have done extremely well to firstly broach the issue, secondly have your concerns flatly disputed and ignored which I would find insulting and thirdly and most importantly carry on providing a healthy, loving environment for a lo who is obviously starting to effect others in your setting with the odor problem.
I too agree that the parents are in denial and to pursue this further may well cause more problems than it's worth without any productive outcome but I would contemplate what my next steps would be when/if other parents start to comment when their lo start telling mummy and daddy that xxxx really smells and they don't want to play/sit next to him or maybe even not come to your setting because of the odor. You know how blunt children can be and how parents can be when they are paying for a service that their child is not enjoying or complaining about because of another child, they may well expect you to do something. I don't think your problem is over even though you are dealing with it and overcoming the obstacle by using good strategies, the issue may become a problem for others using your services. :thumbsup: good luck.

leeloo1
14-10-2014, 08:48 AM
Thanks Koala, thats really nice of you. I think it is slightly insulting, and definitely short sighted, of the parents to not take on board my concerns, but I feel at least I have told them so now its up to them.

You're right, I suspect this won't be the end of the issue, but for now I'll just wait & see I guess...

Maza
11-01-2015, 06:36 PM
Just wondering if this is still an issue? x

leeloo1
12-01-2015, 09:35 PM
Darn, just deleted my post somehow!

It did resolve itself for about 6 weeks - he smelled of clean clothes (hurray!) then today he was back to musty dried-too-slowly-smell. :(

I'm kind of used to it now, so its less of an issue I guess - still not great though!