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jadavi
18-08-2014, 04:15 PM
I am very worried about social services turning a blind eye because they do not have funding to support an aggressive out of control 13 y o (whose sibling comes to my setting)
I am trying to support the single mum with advice and have been for a few years now.
The son has been excluded from a special school now due to his behaviour. The psychologist has said that he must not return home (after a brief spell at a foster carers) because he is a danger to the family and himself (climbs onto roof and threatens to jump off, lay down in the road at night and other dangerous behaviour) However the social services have said there is no money for continued foster care and she must work on her relationship with him as it is his fault he is so messed up (nb the other siblings are all lovely )
He is now back at home and she spends her whole time sitting between him and the other younger ones to protect them. Yesterday he attacked one of them. He has been reported to the police and arrested by them constantly but sent back to her each time. Yesterday he was arrested too but then sent back today.
I feel we are waiting for something awful to happen. She is not coping and it seems social services are ignoring it. (They told her last week it was normal 13 y o behaviour)
Is there anywhere I can advise her to appeal other than Soc services and police?

jadavi
18-08-2014, 04:27 PM
Would it help if i lodged a safe guarding concern?

I am really amazed at social services not helping.
She just told me she found a knife in his room.

jackie 7
18-08-2014, 04:46 PM
i would report it.

jadavi
18-08-2014, 09:02 PM
The mum says it would just go on the list of all the police reports and be ignored again

AliceK
18-08-2014, 09:38 PM
Do you have contact details of anybody specifically that you may have had safeguarding training with in social services / LSCB with whom you could call. I don't think this can be ignored and I can't believe SS are doing nothing. It's extremely worrying.

xx

jadavi
19-08-2014, 06:14 AM
Thanks Alice

I don't really have anyone that springs to mind other than my local LADO
I have done a report before saying she needed respite and they couldn't have been less helpful.
Reading over my first post I meant to write the social services said its her fault (the mum) not the child. (Typing error)
But to me on the outside it seems clear that his aggression etc is largely caused by his conditions.

AliceK
19-08-2014, 07:32 AM
Would it be worth mum calling someone like NSPCC?? Surely someone has to listen to her. She has a teenager who is violent towards others including younger siblings and he has a knife in his possession!!! It's a tragedy waiting to happen, I really feel for her :(

xxx

Simona
19-08-2014, 07:49 AM
Would it help if i lodged a safe guarding concern?

I am really amazed at social services not helping.
She just told me she found a knife in his room.

This is a very personal and difficult issue and you need to act ...look at your Safeguarding policy and then act according to the procedures you have in place to keep children in your setting safe and according to what it is your duty and right to do

Chatterbox Childcare
19-08-2014, 03:02 PM
Pacey has a dedicated safeguarding section which you can call for help and advice aswell as the 24/7 legal line which puts you in touch with a solicitor. they may be able to tell you where mum stands with regards to social services and their obligations.

Otherwise I would look at taking it to the papers - social services refuse to help mum etc...

jadavi
19-08-2014, 05:58 PM
Thanks

I just lodged a complaint with my local Safeguarding help line. It was just the call handler and she says a social worker will call me back . Meanwhile he has trashed the house today, hit a younger brother , gone on the roof and is now trying to put a brick through the window. The senior social worker advised her by text just to try and make special time with him and then went off duty!!
I am very inclined to go to the papers actually. It would take a lot if courage though.
I'm particularly enraged after hearing a long interview on the radio with out local head of social services re the troubled families programme and how much headway they are making with it. I have her name and I will report this every day if necessary.

jadavi
19-08-2014, 06:37 PM
I am with Morton Michel (or whatever they are called!)

Does anyone know their safeguarding help line number?

Mouse
19-08-2014, 06:55 PM
Sadly I think this is becoming more and more common due to the cuts in funding for mental health services.

I really hope your parent can get some help. It sounds like an incredibly difficult situation for all concerned :(

Simona
19-08-2014, 07:47 PM
I am with Morton Michel (or whatever they are called!)

Does anyone know their safeguarding help line number?

Have you thought of getting advice from the NSPCC?

How to contact us | Worried about a child? | Help and advice | NSPCC (http://www.nspcc.org.uk/help-and-advice/worried-about-a-child/the-nspcc-helpline/how-to-contact-us/how-to-contact-us_wda89787.html?source=ppc-brand&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=UK_GO_S_E_BND_Paid_Pure_NSPCC&utm_term=sitelink_worried_about_a_child?&gclid=COj1nvKLoMACFagNtQodPlkAdg&gclsrc=ds)

jadavi
19-08-2014, 08:29 PM
Thanks Simona

I'll get on to that in the morning.

No social worker rang me back.

He has now again been arrested

The mum is thinking of taking the other 5 children to an unknown address and not being there when they try to deliver him home again.

They did put him in foster care for a week and he did really well with a couple who listened to him and gave him attention 24/7 (he doesn't sleep as refuses his meds)
But they say there is no money to keep him there and he has to come home.

Simona
19-08-2014, 08:57 PM
Thanks Simona

I'll get on to that in the morning.

No social worker rang me back.

He has now again been arrested

The mum is thinking of taking the other 5 children to an unknown address and not being there when they try to deliver him home again.

They did put him in foster care for a week and he did really well with a couple who listened to him and gave him attention 24/7 (he doesn't sleep as refuses his meds)
But they say there is no money to keep him there and he has to come home.

Make sure you get someone to support you...you need that.

jadavi
20-08-2014, 05:59 AM
Update

They did arrest him but brought him back before the mum could leave with the other children. She was going to go off radar so he would have to be put in care again. The police woman told the mum that they have this with other families and have to take the boys back home as social services won't take them.

jadavi
20-08-2014, 06:10 AM
It is so likely that one of the children will get hurt.

I will ring Lado and nspcc today.

If social services have not got resources what can be done?

hectors house
20-08-2014, 07:25 AM
What a crazy situation - hope you find some help for this poor parent and very mixed up boy - such a shame that he seemed better with the foster parent but Social services can't afford to fund him to stay there. No family should have live in fear of being attacked every minute of the day and night - could boy be sectioned under mental health act otherwise I fear the mother will have a breakdown and beat him to the mental hospital, then Social services will have to pay for fostering for all the other children too!

Mrsh3103
20-08-2014, 07:43 AM
How awful :(
Have you tried phoning ss and raising a new concern about the welfare and safety of the youngest children?
Instead of phoning and saying 13yo is a danger because he's done/doing this, maybe say x is in danger because someone in their house is doing x,y,z.
Maybe a new approach to reporting it might help.
Or get someone else to report it. A family friend or if you have a cm friend- someone who so far hasn't raised a concern.

Simona
20-08-2014, 07:43 AM
It is so likely that one of the children will get hurt.

I will ring Lado and nspcc today.

If social services have not got resources what can be done?

If you do not know ring those who do know what the procedures are and can help ...like the NSPCC...here we can only support you with words...action is now needed maybe?

FussyElmo
20-08-2014, 08:05 AM
The problem is that its another child who needs the help and is a danger to the other children not a parent - that's why social workers are passing the buck. Unfortunately there wont be funding there for him to go to foster home as his parent is not classed as a danger to him :(:(

Its an awful situation that unfortunately there is no easy answer. The social worker may want to help but there will be a child out there at risk from an adult and that will always take precedent.

What do cahms say or doing to help?

jadavi
20-08-2014, 04:48 PM
Thanks everyone

I rang nspcc today who took details (even though they don't normally) and told me to ring local and national helpline.

Then rang the safeguarding officer in the local childminding association who said I can only report my concern about my minded child in danger. I said I had done.

Meanwhile helping hand ( a respite charity I think ) is putting in a report about social services failing in their duty of care but I don't know how much clout they have.

Thank you again for listening xx

I'm considering involving my local MP and also reporting my concern every day on the safeguarding line till they get sick of me.

Does anyone know how to contact one's MP?

Kiddleywinks
20-08-2014, 04:54 PM
Haven't any advice above what's already been given I'm afraid. Sounds like you are doing as much as you can given the situation, poor parent, she must be out of her mind :panic:

With regards to your local mp, if you know the name google it and the area/ward and it should come up with contact details, or try your local councils website :thumbsup:

loocyloo
20-08-2014, 04:58 PM
I heard something on the news today about childrens mental health BBC News - Youth mental health care 'in dark ages', says minister (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-28851443), and thought of you. it might be worth contacting the Care Minister Norman Lamb.

I would definitely contact your local MP ... google your area/MP and their contact details should come up - both their email for parliament, but also details of their surgeries where you can go and talk to them, and addresses for letters etc.

thinking of you, and your friend and all her family.

xxx

Simona
20-08-2014, 05:15 PM
Thanks everyone

I rang nspcc today who took details (even though they don't normally) and told me to ring local and national helpline.

Then rang the safeguarding officer in the local childminding association who said I can only report my concern about my minded child in danger. I said I had done.

Meanwhile helping hand ( a respite charity I think ) is putting in a report about social services failing in their duty of care but I don't know how much clout they have.

Thank you again for listening xx

I'm considering involving my local MP and also reporting my concern every day on the safeguarding line till they get sick of me.

Does anyone know how to contact one's MP?

You can find your MP here

MPs - UK Parliament (http://www.parliament.uk/mps-lords-and-offices/mps/)

Norman Lamb is the Minister who has been speaking recently on mental health

Another good source of information is Young Minds...they are very good

Child & Adolescent Mental Health - YoungMinds (http://www.youngminds.org.uk/?gclid=CKbj7PGrosACFWvlwgod0EoA_Q)

jadavi
20-08-2014, 07:56 PM
Thanks everyone and cheers Simona for the contact list. I just emailed my MP
The parent didnt want me to copy her social worker in yet.
So... We wait :) xx

jadavi
22-08-2014, 06:46 AM
Got a good letter off to my MP and was told it had been passed up the chain as urgent .
Meanwhile the mum has been given anger worksheets to work on with her son by the social worker.
He had a good day yesterday and didn't hurt any of his siblings or destroy anything. But then he gets good days and bad days.,,.

jadavi
27-08-2014, 03:56 PM
Hi again

The letter was actioned as urgent and has been forwarded to the head of social services from my
Local mp so I await the outcome with interest...
I'm wondering if there's anyway this can come back and bite me in the bum...?

Ripeberry
27-08-2014, 05:34 PM
Sounds like a mental health issue. I suppose there is no dad in the picture? He needs someone to take control and stop pussy footing around him. Has he not been assessed by mental health? It sounds as if he could have 'Bi-polar'. My mum was a monster as a child and it got worse in teenagehood. She was prescribed loads of pills to calm her down. She did the same things, threatening to hurt herself and others. :(

Ripeberry
27-08-2014, 05:37 PM
Hi again

The letter was actioned as urgent and has been forwarded to the head of social services from my
Local mp so I await the outcome with interest...
I'm wondering if there's anyway this can come back and bite me in the bum...?

You are doing more than the so called 'professionals' The mum must be so grateful that you are doing all you can. Keep up the good work :thumbsup:

jadavi
30-08-2014, 09:05 PM
What happened to your mum Ripeberry? Thank you for sharing x

Simona
31-08-2014, 08:57 AM
Hi again

The letter was actioned as urgent and has been forwarded to the head of social services from my
Local mp so I await the outcome with interest...
I'm wondering if there's anyway this can come back and bite me in the bum...?

I think you are doing your best but also keep in mind his younger sibling...all this will probably affect him too but he is covered under different rules and will have a HV?

If the mum is in agreement I would contact the Health Visitor...that will ensure your letter and calls for help gets forwarded to the right places...and quickly